How do other parents cope with these feelings

[newmummy1985]

After a long battle with infertility (years and years and years of pain) we have finally been blessed with a baby boy who is now 12 weeks old. We are unlikely to ever be able to conceive again and this baby really is our miracle.

I love him so much. Every single little thing. The way he smells, his soft hair, his milky breath, the little fat creases on his arms, the ways his eyes slowly drift shut as he suckles to sleep, how his little chubby hand grabs my finger. All of him. He is perfect in every single way.

I am so happy. The happiest I’ve ever been in life.

Here’s the thing. More and more I find myself just wishing I could pause time and live my life in this perfect stage of life. The time is going so quickly and it terrifies me to a point I’m not sure is healthy. I already look back daily on pictures of my baby at younger stages. It feels as though each day I celebrate, however at the same time I celebrate my gorgeous boy and how lucky I am, I grieve the loss of previous days/stages/events at the same time.

I have become obsessed with taking pictures, videos and notes so I remember all the details of him at each stage. I’m worried this is becoming an unhealthy obsession because it’s fuelled by worry and panic of time passing. I think it’s also amplified by the fact I naturally have a bad memory.

I’m not sure what I’m asking other than, is this grief and fear something other parents feel? How do you manage this?

Oh I remember this. Hormones are strong and really do a number on you when you have a baby. It's probably amplified in you because of the journey to get him. Stop worrying about the time slipping by because all the time you're doing that, it's time that should be spent enjoying your baby right now. Try and focus on the now. Your hormones should calm down soon😊

I think what you are experiencing is the bittersweet beauty of life and the journey of time. It's all so precious, of course you don't want to miss a moment of it! It's so lovely being a mum!

It’s all good op! Toddlers are hilarious and the primary years can be amazing. We have found our teens pretty good company too. It’s just the start.

My DS screamed his head off for 4+ hours all day every day until around 4 months so I did NOT have that feeling at 12 weeks. Even when he stopped screaming and was a very pleasant baby, I found it all very boring.

But I do have this feeling now at 22 months. He's perfect. Like, genuinely, I can't imagine life ever being better than this. Everything about him is perfect. Every day is a joy. He is a joy.

I have no advice, I guess it's all about different stages. Babies are all different, us parents are all different too. Enjoy what you have, find something to appreciate every day. Every moment can't be perfect.

I don’t really have any advice but I feel very similarly. I have loved having children, more than I ever expected. I have a 6, 4 and 7m old. Whilst I love watching the little people they’re growing up to be, I am simultaneously grieving the stages that have passed. It’s a weird combination of feelings for sure. I know we can’t have any more, and that makes me so sad even though I am so blessed to have the children I have got.

I remember asking my mum what age of her children were her favourite and she said it was basically every age. I have also found that to be true. The baby stage is very special and my goodness those baby cuddles are to be treasured, but I’m on my 11th year of parenthood now and I often think about what my mother said, because I’ve genuinely found so much enjoyment with every age. And even though as they get older and more independent and self sufficient it can feel sad, there are also huge waves of pride, excitement and enjoyment. And then to be able to have proper back and forth talks and received proactive affection and love, feels so amazing and fulfilling.

It does go by fast, but not at a pace you can’t handle. You have so much to look forward to.

Yes i thought my baby was perfect but I refused to let any worries or issues I had effect them, me being neurotic would help no one so yes I made normal rational sensible decisions but the last thing my child needed was me being an emotional mess

It’s all just a stage. The good bits don’t last that long, the bad bits aren’t forever either.

Your baby will grow, change and keep developing. That’s just what they were supposed to do.

Gretchen Rubin says the days are long but the years are short, and she’s right.