Holiday abroad....hell!! Is this normal?!

[Shleepymummy]

Just finishing up a week abroad with 5 and 3 year old. All inclusive, Menorca, standard stuff. My DC have behaved so poorly, like off the charts bad! Fighting with each other, no please or thank yous, messing about at meal times, back chat, hitting. We get this sometimes at home but it's not the norm- on this holiday it feels like every hour one of them is misbehaving.
It's got to the point where it's actually hard to set a boundary, stick to it etc. DH and I are exhausted and have lost control of the pair of the them at this point!
Worried how we are going to get things back on track once home.
is this normal for a holiday? We went away last year and it wasn't this bad at all, but the youngest had only just turned 2 last year and couldn't really speak, act up. Their ages now seem worse.
whats done is done this week, but I'd like to regain control at home rather than saying no to my 5 year old and being told I'm the worst mummy in the world....🫠

Holidays with small children are such hard work.

You're tired, disappointed and spiralling.

Accept that it is what it is. Young children do not always actually cope well with a change in routine, different food, meal times, sleeping arrangements etc. They don't have their usual routines, toys, tv etc to keep them and they're tired from more swimming, heat and different sleeping set up.

We just stopped going as it was too much hassle for not enough reward. We switched to long weekends in places like CP and Bluestones for a few years.

I really wouldn't read anything into it all re long term behaviour. You will probably find everyone slots back into normal life and thus is just a blip.

I recall being on holiday with my 4 year old and sitting and crying as I Googled flights home early.

She is now 8 and a joy to spend time with

Solidarity

Once you get them home and back in their routines things will fall back in place. I always had to be a stricter mummy for a couple of days after a holiday abroad, and then they’d return to their well behaved selves.

I did a staycation when my kids were 3 and 5 . We didn't go on holiday again for four years .

We were once on a beautiful quiet beach in Greece where the locals were, rather than tourists. DDs 5 and 3 screaming and crying at each other, at the waves, at the sand. All I could think was that we were the family from hell. Needless to say we left the beach and dragged everyone still screaming back to the apartment.

We kept going abroad but reset our expectations and kept things simple based around what DC could cope with. It does get easier. Or you can try something like Mark Warner or Neilson so that you get a proper holiday too.

They're tired, overstimulated and probably eating more crap than you would serve at home.
It sounds awful, and Ive been there - I bet they'd just love to get in their own beds and conk out.
The thought of a holiday is misunderstood at that age... It's built up to be everything!!!! Then they get bored if Mum and Dad want to relax for a bit.
Take it out on each other.

Ohh I hope you get home fine with no delays.

At that age mine had to go in for an afternoon nap if they wanted to make mini disco (or whatever).
I feel for you.

I don’t like holidays abroad with such young children. As a child at least one of us was always ill and the various minor discomforts of being out of your comfort zone are huge to a small child (sand in the wrong place, heat, sunburn, milk/eggs/bread that taste wrong). As a parent it was phenomenally hard work. Uk holidays were significantly better. I started spending money on holidays again when ds turned 14 and things improved.

If it's any consolation we had our first holiday with kids where they weren't a pain and we didn't need a kids club for our sanity. Kids are 5 and 8. It will happen. A decent kids club is worth it's weight in gold in the meantime.

We didn’t do hotel stays with ours at this age. We rented villas with private pools. Much easier - you can stick to midday naps and early bedtimes and have time to yourselves.

Yeah I'd write it off to experience and not attempt a 'nice' holiday until the youngest is about 7 tbh. It'll only get close to truly enjoyable once they are 10 and above too, when you can all eat out together later and thet can entertain selves more.

Oh Christ we're about to attempt a week in Greece - our first abroad holiday since 2019 - with a 4 and 2 year old.

Wish us luck, lunch wine calls 😂

I don’t think it’s a normal holiday at all, but they’re your children and only you know what is normal behaviour for them.
Mine are 5 and 3 and so far our holidays have been great and it’s time we all look forward to being off and being together.

I think often a huge part of it is expectations, but also what your normal life is like and what you plan to do on holiday. I know some people who get so wound up if their kids are up past their normal bedtime on holiday, or expect to be able to put their feet up in a way that’s similar to travelling without kids which just isn’t realistic.

Did you expect them to sit still at dinner? In which safe Yabu they can only do this for a short time at this age unless you bring toys games or screens!

I have just had a staycation with my 3yo and he was lovely but he did have my full attention , I guess when you have a partner the kids don’t get this. If you 1Oo% focus on a child each maybe it would be better?

Maybe you need to try somewhere with a kids club next time?

out of interest do either of you do full days with the kids normally or are they in full time nursery?

All inclusive should be lovely with no cooking or washing up!

I spent the six weeks holiday abroad every year. One holiday, as one of my children screamed for the fourth night running I said to my mum…

‘oh goodness, the neighbours will think we are the family from hell’

’you are’…, she answered!

I put boundaries back in, clear expectations, consistency, plenty of rest including a siesta for us all each day. Calm times, with books and music, free play with small toys, water and buckets!

It was soon sorted!

‘It’s actually hard to set a boundary and stick to it’ there might be some thing here tell us more

You learnt an expensive lesson. They are too young to enjoy it. Stay in UK, spend less , do cheap farm stay or caravan. Travelling with under 5s is shit, been there.
We're going to Greece too, single parent,me and 2 ds
They are 15and 17 now : so much easier!!!!

Poor passengers on your flight home!
Poor other families in the hotel having to listen that shit show

This feels so mean to me. Take them away and put them in a strange creche with randoms that they don’t know, must be so scary for them, while mum and dad sunbathe. I have no idea why couples would do this surely you take it in turns to sunbathe/rest vs play with the kids. When they’re a bit older 6/7+ a kids club would be fun for them but not at 3-5. They’d rather be home at a familiar nursery I’m sure, it’d better to leave them at home with a nanny and go away without them if you really want time off your kids.

We have had some successful holidays (maybe rose tinted glasses?!), but one really sticks in my mind where the kids argued and bickered the whole time and were ridiculously difficult for what just seemed like the sake of it. I remember crying on our way back from dinner and telling my husband it was the worst holiday ever, I was never going away with them all again, and that being at work was more of a holiday.

Mine are 4 and 2 and we are away in the UK. Must admit that the extra travel, sun, suncream, change of food all adds up to why we haven't gone abroad and probably won't next year either. Last year eldest was horrendous so much so I rang the grandparents on the way back and literally begged for a few hours of childcare.
This year we have learnt and hugely toned down expectations. Minimal full-on day trips, minimal need to get places on time, lots of free play outdoors. It's worked a lot better (though the usual sibling bickering, tantrums and boundary pushing continue, as they do at home!)

A friend of mine actually paid £££ to come home ONE DAY early from holiday with her 3 and 1 year olds. It was so horrendous even another 24 hours would have been hell.

I think it's normal. I only have the one toddler but we don't do the usual all inclusive. We get a villa as I find it's more quiet and we rent a car. A big AI hotel would be too much for my DS. My DS is also allergic to dairy which means we can't go AI comfortably, so that is another part of the decision, for full disclosure.

Although a villa is A LOT more work for us as parents so there is no ideal way of doing things with small children. Personally, I enjoy being in a different place for a little while, with good weather.

Edited to say we also don't do big day trips. We waited 3 days to get settled before we ventured on a HALF day trip.

I remember holidays when the kids were that age being a rollercoaster.. highs and lows... One holiday my 3 year old stopped talking to me for several days and just clung to dh all the time. It was so strange... he used to go absolutely loopy on holidays... I think it was being out of routine.... He's now a fab 20 yr old who is the best company...
Solidary.. keep expectations low a c try appreciate the lovely moments when they come in between the low points

Are you letting them have a lot more 'treats' than usual due to the all inclusive?

Might be the extra sugar and general processed crap is fuelling their behaviour.

I have a 3 and a 5 year old and I'd rather pull my tits off than take them abroad at this age. We'll do a few days at a local(ish) holiday park if we can afford it but I'll be expecting them to be little buggers the whole time.

Divide and conquer when you get home. Give them some time apart.