Should I buy my daughter a therian mask and tail?

[pombearmum]

Hi there.

my daughter who is nearly 11 has recently declared that she is a therian. She believes she is half human half cat in fact she’s even got a name for her cat self. Luna. She is so desperate to wear a mask and tail. I really don’t mind but she recently did and was horribly ridiculed by some teenagers. Who shouted at her in the park. She said she didn’t care because you shouldn’t pick on peoples beliefs.

she’s asked me for a new mask and tail for her birthday. I don’t know if I’m being a bad parent buying it for her or a bad parent trying to steer her away from it. Am I opening her up to being massively bullied? She can be whoever she wants to be in front of me and in my opinion there’s far worse things she could do or be then wearing a mask. But the outside world isn’t as supportive.

is anyone else’s child also like mine and how do you deal with the whole not being sure what’s right or wrong thing? Advice would be great please. Sometimes I just don’t know what’s best.

Come on..

Cats don't have phone, tv, internet, sweets, pocker money etc. If she wants to be a cat, then all that goes away.

Honestly when did proper parenting stop?

I wouldn't say seeing 6 or 7 girls dressed up as animals in 2 years was common? But from reading comments from parents on here, it does seem to be popular amongst some age groups

There is a difference between role play and thinking one is or wishing to be a furry animal, one should be encouraged and one should not

Where exactly are these children who truly belive their animals? Or are they just kids who really enjoy dressing up and take it as far as the adults around them will let them 😅

I do not believe this hype thay there's all these children and teens who truly believe their animals

It would be an absolute hard no.

OP no way would i allow this. Iits time for a serious conversation with your dd about this and how it will result it her very likely being laughed at and bullied.

My 14 year old teenager was on a bus recently with multiple other teenagers and they were all in stitches at 2 girls about age 12 walking about dressed as furries tbey drove past. He came home and told me about it and said "mum it was the funniest thing the whole bus was laughing at them". Thankfully the girls would never have heard this but he then went onto say "Why would there parents buy those outfits or let them dress like that surely they know they will get laughed at by everyone". Please don't pander to this nonsense unless you wish to make your dd someone other kids laugh at. Have a aeeious conversation with her and find out whats driving this nonsense because I think it will be social media. Explain to her other kids will laugh at her and ask her does she really want that? You need to guide her here and protect her not indulge her.

A woman I know was very supportive of her 10 year old daughter’s therian belief that she was a fox, eventually taking her out of school completely because the other kids were making fun of her.
Now 13, she believes she’s a boy and the mother is 100% supportive. The poor child no longer has any friends IRL but has unrestricted internet access. I’m not sure how she’ll ever have any sort of normal life.

Respecting all beliefs doesn't mean tolerating abject nonsense. And 'believing' something doesn't make it true / worthy of respect.

Surely she doesn't really believe she's part cat?

Teach her about critical thinking.
Or you're going to end up with a ghost hunting, flat earthing wack job on your hands.

Unfortunately, that also makes them at a higher risk of being preyed upon by the dangerous individuals who align themselves with these sorts of groups. They don’t see the dangers and well meaning parents believe it’s all innocent make believe.

I would have no issue with her wearing whatever she likes. I would, however, be very concerned if it's not just dress up and she actually believes that she is half cat.

Jesus Christ, OP, do you really need to ask? Shall I encourage my child to groom themselves into a mental illness? Shall I help my child become unable to function normally in society? Shall I indulge my child's stupidest impulses?

Is this a serious comment?

I can't believe this is how 11 year olds are now. When I was 11, you were basically considered grown up and any 11 year old running around pretending to be a cat would have been on the receiving end of a lot of ridicule.

Sounds like you’re leaving the door slightly open here by partially indulging her. Slam the door shut, be firm and tell her absolutely not. Some parents seem to be incapable of just saying no, by taking the route of allowing them to make their own choices/being a free spirit. But there are occasions when you have to step up to your responsibilities of being a parent by guiding them away from shit which can have huge consequences for them. This is one of those occasions. .

OP she doesn't really believe she's a cat. Nor half cat, nor anything of the sort. Does she think it was you or her dad who had sex with a cat??
She probably likes cats (same here) and fancies dressing up as a cat. If that's the case, fair enough. I'd quite like prancing about in a tail and cute ears from time to time. If she really believes she's a cat, definitely don't buy her all the gubbins and refer to camhs asap.

You really need to monitor your child’s internet usage.

Urgently.

Agree with this.

Welcome to the age of wanting to be your child’s friend and not regulating their access to the perverted parts of the internet and indulging ridiculous nonsense like this which is often associated with fetishism.

The furries/therians do tend to prey on children who are a bit disturbed, naive or thick. I'd heavily discourage her from having anything to do with such cults/fetishes, and she also needs to have her internet use much more closely monitored.

No.

Noooooooo
nuts

This is where you have to be the parent. She is not old enough to understand all the implications of what she is talking about. You need to stop the unsupervised internet use, and start engaging with her about bodies, puberty and reality.

Bullshit is there a private school with litter trays and food bowls. They had a panic with VAT being added to the fees. Do you really think they’d risk losing a majority of pupils?

Cat litter is used in schools to soak up vomit. In my day it was sawdust but times move on. I’ve heard that in the US they have it in stock to soak up blood in the event of a school shooting, but I have no evidence for this. I’ve also seen it suggested that they have it for lockdowns when a shooter is on the premises and the kids can’t get to a bathroom, but again, have no source to corroborate this.

I beg you to think about this logically. Do these litter trays have toilet paper provided? Whose job is it to scoop them out? How are children using them in school without any other child taking a photo and ridiculing/bullying them?

Fuck me, I got bullied at school for wearing my socks at the wrong length. Can you imagine how it would have gone down if I’d curled one out in the corridor??

Please bear in mind that these are the same kids that we are panicking about losing to the Manosphere. We can’t get them to be tolerant of girls and women. How do you think they’d react to a “furry” shitting in a litter tray?

Just a smidge of critical thinking, come on now.

Tell her she can wear them at Halloween or to a fancy dress party🎉.

Absolutely not. Tell her she is not a cat. End of.

I was just about to respond, but then noticed that the OP hasn't been back.

The thread could be in good faith, but I'm a bit cautious about this kind of topic about children - especially where the OP doesn't engage.

If the thread is above board, then hopefully the OP has the feedback they need.

Of course it's a fashion trend. What do you think it is? And as someone who was an autistic/neurodiverse young girl - nope. One has nothing to do with the other. Clearly many people these days are mistakenly conflating autism/neurodiversity and low intelligence!