Four-year-old wants make-up and nails, how to keep it healthy?

[Selin91]

i was firmly in the camp of no make up for my 2 DDs until they were much older. However, my 4 year old has seen me do my make up a couple of times (I only really wear mascara but she’s seen all my other make up) and has taken a massive interest in it. We went to a toy shop recently and she asked for a make up set so I let her get it but she wants to wear it every day (not necessarily to leave the house, she just likes to play with it). She also wants to come to the nail shop with me and get her nails done.

where do people stand on this? How do I make sure this is all done in a healthy way? She recently told me I wasn’t pretty and had to put make up on. I realise this was because I had said “wow that’s pretty” when she showed me her make up. I obviously corrected her and explained people are beautiful with and without make up but appearance is not everything

I know this isn’t really a big deal either way but i just want her to have a healthy relationship with her appearance and quite frankly I’m a bit creeped out by kids in make up!

I wouldn’t have bought “play” make up for a 4 year old. You need to row back from there.

I have a boy but I painted his nails a few times when he was a toddler as he would ask for his doing when I did mine but I wouldn’t encourage makeup for a little boy or a little girl as it can’t be good for their skin and I don’t think anyone of any age should be led to believe that they need makeup but then I’m also not a makeup wearer and I’ve never really understood it 🤷‍♀️

Get her some tinted lip balms from a natural brand and some cheap brushes that don’t actually apply anything. Let her play with it as you would any other pretend play toy. I would draw a hard line on any actual make up just because it’s messy and bad for her skin. You can tell her that the nail salon is an expensive grown up treat, also the chemicals are bad for kids, and then get her some kiddy water based peel off nail polish instead.

You say no?

This.

She’s 4! I don’t even let my 6 year old DD use play make up.

I think I would try and say positive comments about myself a lot that don’t relate to my appearance, and make a point of complimenting her too on non superficial things. I talk about how proud I am to be strong (I lift weights) and how I’m good at puzzles etc. I never ever comment on anyone’s weight, but my 7yo has still picked up on fattism so perhaps a certain amount is just societal.

Side note but you can get great wash-off nail polish for kids that is non toxic.

Would she like face paint and/or transfers? Maybe model doing something a bit more out there and arty on your own face or body. Maybe decorate your elbows or collarbone. So the aim is to make a picture/look different rather than look pretty as such.

My four year old loves the stick on gems/ jewels for when she goes to birthday parties but I would just say flat out no to makeup other than putting a bit of my lip balm on her. I also let her put a bit or la Roche posay cica plast on her face as a moisturiser when I do mine. I’m not concerned about her having nail stickers or a bit of glitter on her nails every now and again.

My mum used to get us that watery stuff from Avon for our nails. But I'm going back 40+ years.

Dd was definitely v young when she played with makeup. I have pictures of her 'doing' mine and hers. It looks,quite literally, like warpaint.

I remember my mum letting me play in her makeup drawer from a very young age. Bollocks to that. Dd got play stuff then my cast offs.

I spent my teenage years in all manner of mad colours and styles and am one of the few survivors of the 90s to have in tact eyebrows. Makeup was less about looking pretty and more about looking different.

Dd is a teenager now and likes the full face natural (!) Look. She's gone the blend in with the crowd way.

Just say no. And that’s it.

“No, you’re too little. Maybe when you’re older.”

Then change the subject.

I would get her face paints instead and channel it into the ‘costume’ aspect instead. My two like face paints and hair chalk but don’t really view it as beautifying, just as dressing up.

Nails don’t bother me. Both of mine sometimes like to have bright fun nails (as do I!). You can get stuff that just washes off.

You say no, it's not for children

Kiddy stuff is just designed to get them into it really early age it's not a good idea

and those nail chemicals flipping heck - I mean the ones in the salons

I have a picture of DD going shopping with bright blue eyeshadow on, I think she’s about 5. She’s nearly 18 and wears no make up.

Play makeup isn’t dermatologically tested so I wouldn’t touch that stuff with a bargepole.

Beyond that just say no!

Your DD has a lifetime of beauty pressure and cosmetics advertising ahead of her. Help her be free from it as long as you possibly can

I think its fine - make up is an art form and is fun - as long as youre clear with that, i would x

Mine had hair chalks and water based nail colour that peeled off. I didn’t let her put anything on her skin. She’s a teen now and couldn’t be less interested in makeup: I have to chase her to wash her face.

@Selin91 As PP have said, just say "sorry it's not for children". In much the same way my four year old can't have a phone, shave his beard, drink a glass of wine or stay up till midnight. Some things are not for children and it's a pretty easy way to put your foot down.

This is a big deal.
you need to say no to makeup for a child who is four.
I allowed nail varnish from five as the exception, tinted chapsticks from around eight and any other makeup from twelve. if they came back from friends houses with it on I’d just say “each family is different, in our house makeup is for twelve and over”

It’s ok to just say no to kids right?
You can get actual pretend makeup kits from Amazon, the ones that don’t actually have anything in them. You know it’s a sticker of shimmery shadow so you just pretend with it etc.
i wouldn’t get her actual kids makeup. She’s 4

I would not allow a 4 year old to wear make up or nail varnish.

I think how these 'pamper parties' are marketed at such little girls is just awful.
Children this age need to be playing with toys, not preening themselves. Play dress up by all means, but not make up.

This is why we have issues with kids in school because parents will not say no! For fear of upsetting their little cherubs

I bought my 4 year old some water based nail polish that washes off really easily and then gave her a few brushes, sparkly powder, a lipstick and a palette of eyeshadow. It was very much a phase and we are over it now. But the nail polish did help with fine motor skills

Mine have always had it, they just play with it in the same way they play with any other kids' versions of grown up stuff.