Advice on supporting two brothers aged 11 and 16

[missapprehensive]

NC for this and have changed some details to not be outing.

It's quite likely I'll be taking in two boys soon, aged 11 and 16. They are brothers. This will either be in the next week, in which case the eldest will be doing exams, or after exams are.over. I don't think it's permanent, at least not yet, but will be for some weeks and could be until end of summer.

They've both been through quite a lot, especially the 16 year old. But they are both really lovely boys, very polite, helpful and kind. I want them to have a nice summer, and then to help especially the 16 year old with a plan for his next steps, with my support obviously. I will help him as much as I can for as long as I can but I think helping him eventually set out on his own will be the best thing for him long term.

The younger one has some medical issues and I am looking into what I can do to help with them. There are some minor adaptations I'm doing to the house and I have asked about what support he needs such as physio - I'm waiting to hear details of what I need to do. As I understand it I won't be able to book medical appointments for him as I don't have PR but I can arrange private physio.

I suppose I'm just asking if anyone has any advice? If anyone has been in a similar situation, or can give any tips on supporting teenagers/pre teens. I have kids but my eldest is 7. I have already had conversations with my kids about what's happening, and we have space so they won't be giving up bedrooms or anything. They all get along.

I think I'm just worried I'll make a hash of it - I really want to help and make sure they are ok and supported to make good choices. I want them to blend in with my family life if possible, but I know it won't be easy for them. Any advice really welcome.

Hello, I thought I would update this. The boys have been with us for just over five weeks now. We've had a lot of laughs and some tears and we're finding a rhythm.

Thank you for those who pre warned me about the food bill! I had an old toastie maker that hadn't been used much, I dug that out, and now the 16 year old is making them for my two as well, it's like a toastie production line when they all get in from clubs/sports etc on a Saturday 🤣 there was also one night when I found him about 1am in the fridge, he thought I was going to tell him off but I made pancakes and we ate them sitting on the kitchen floor, your post was running through my head @thoughtaboutitall so thank you.

Transport has been difficult, hats off to people who have more than two kids, the logistics are tricky. 16yo says he can get a moped. We've decided not to pull at that thread 🤣

The 11 year old has had his first physio session, there were some issues getting it set up so only the one so far, but it went fairly well I think. He is the most laid back child, he's cracking jokes all the time, and he's actually a whizz at chess! I asked him what he wanted to do of a night (doesn't like movies - at all apparently!) and he said that. I learnt how to play many moons ago and never really got into it, so basically I'm being regularly beaten by an 11 year old, which he finds hilarious 😂

I still feel wildly out of my depth and I am worrying constantly about the future, because I still don't know if/when they go back to their mum. 16yo gets his results soon too, so there's that as well. But all in all I think it is going as well as it can be. Thank you all again for all the advice.

Thank you for your lovely update @missapprehensive. It sounds as though they’re settling in well and you’re doing a good job

Lovely to hear this. I saw your thread earlier but didn't comment at the time.
They are lucky to have you.