Page 4 | How can I encourage my two year old to walk more?

ThePoisedOpalBird · 2026-05-20T16:17:35+00:00

I have a lovely 2 year old who I am having lots of issues with tantrums and refusals. One of the biggest issues I have is his refusal to walk anywhere. We go to the shops he wont walk or hold my hand. If we go to the beach or forest he wont walk and run around he wants to be in the pram (I have to have the pram due to younger baby) or be carried. I have tried walking away from him or just trying to wait but he just lays on the floor and gets in a comfy position as if to nap! I have tried making it fun (hopping like a from, racing to the lampost, being a monkey or dinosaur), I have tried encouraging him to look for leaves etc. He is a bit better if we take his scuttle bug but he will soon be too big for it and I cant carry a normal bike, push a pram and carry a toddler around if he gets bored of a proper bike when out. I can deal with most of his tantrums about not getting his way etc as I just ignore it but I am finding this really hard! He will happily sit in the pram or be carried instead of walking but this defeats the whole point of taking him out to burn energy as he just wants to sit or be carried. Does anyone have any suggestions?

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Original poster

ThePoisedOpalBird · 21/05/2026 13:55

UnbeatenMum · 21/05/2026 13:46

Ok, so could be sensory but not shoes, or maybe more of an interest thing? He might like the larger scuttlebug XL or a balance bike or scooter when he outgrows his current scuttlebug. DS likes to take toy cars or teddies to the park. Or he would take a toy buggy like a PP suggested.

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He has the scuttlebug XL although he still looks giant on it 🙈 he will ride it for a bit but we can only use it in the garden or forest etc as he doesn't listen enough for me to let him use it on the pavements to go places whilst also pushing the pram.

He is ready for a balance bike but I cant hold that and push the buggy around. And i cant tie it onto our collapsable buggy as there is no room with the toddlers seat on the back of the pram.

I havent thought of a toy pram for him to push as well although I could see him just launching it like everything else but could be worth a try!

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Original poster

ThePoisedOpalBird · 21/05/2026 14:03

EverydayRoutine · 21/05/2026 13:55

I agree with some PPs that there may be a medical issue, though it’s frustrating that the GP won’t pursue anything. I’d definitely talk to the HV.

What is a typical day like for him at home? How does he spend his time? How many hours a week is he at nursery?

I wouldn’t be too concerned about the not walking to the park or wherever, but his lack of interest in playing when you get there is a bit concerning. I think enlisting his slightly older cousin as a playmate and role model is a good idea. I’d also arrange for meetups with some of the children from nursery. Having other children around would hopefully jumpstart his desire to play and run around.

We tend to try not to stay at home as I cant cope with toddler and baby stuck in the house. I cant stand socialising with other people which is why I am trying to see my nephew instead. I wouldn't feel comfortable meeting other parents at the park especially ones I have never met!

We are usually up around 7 depends on how he feels. We eat, he will usually potter around outside if the weather is nice or he destroys the living room.

We then go out/ see family on the weekend and 1 weekday and his dad will take him softplay on his day off. He has his naps and then its usually quite late by the time he wakes up so its usually cooking dinner, pottering about the garden or destroying the living room again. A bit of TV when I have lost the will to live because baby wont nap with all the screaming from toddler.

Bedtime totally depends on his nap and mood. Sometimes hes awake for 5 houra other times less.

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GoodWater · 21/05/2026 14:51

ThePoisedOpalBird · 21/05/2026 13:52

All of this sounds great when he is older but currently he doesn't understand the concept of hide and see or throwing bean bags into hoops or jumping into hoops etc.

He wont dance if I put music on, he wont follow me in the forest to pick up leaves etc. His idea of playing is more throw things to the floor or spread it about. He doesn't seem to follow guidance of say lets kick the football or jump in the hoops even if I show him.

He has some softplay bits in his room but he is a bit big for them now but does use it a bit.

Bedtime hugely depends on when his nap started and when he woke up. He always goes to bed 5 hours after his last wake window unless it was a short nap. So bedtime ranges from 5.30 if he has had no/ short nap to 10pm if he has slept 4 hours.

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But will he kick the ball back to you if you kick it to him, or will he chase you if you keep it away from him? Appreciate this is incredibly hard to do with a tiny baby strapped to you and while you're still recovering from giving birth.

I think he's too small to expect him to play by himself after showing him how - you're going to need to run around with him, or find some other kids for him to run around with. Besides, even as a grown up, doing things alone is boring - must be even more boring for a two year old, especially if he's used to doing everything by himself.

One thing you could try (only if the roads are safe and quiet, obviously) is challenge him to walk on the kerb and see how long he can go without falling off. He'll be slow, so it'll keep him beside you and the pram. It'll take a million years to get anywhere, but walking with a toddler takes a million years anyway (and I'm usually quite happy to kill the time!)

Original poster

ThePoisedOpalBird · 21/05/2026 15:02

GoodWater · 21/05/2026 14:51

But will he kick the ball back to you if you kick it to him, or will he chase you if you keep it away from him? Appreciate this is incredibly hard to do with a tiny baby strapped to you and while you're still recovering from giving birth.

I think he's too small to expect him to play by himself after showing him how - you're going to need to run around with him, or find some other kids for him to run around with. Besides, even as a grown up, doing things alone is boring - must be even more boring for a two year old, especially if he's used to doing everything by himself.

One thing you could try (only if the roads are safe and quiet, obviously) is challenge him to walk on the kerb and see how long he can go without falling off. He'll be slow, so it'll keep him beside you and the pram. It'll take a million years to get anywhere, but walking with a toddler takes a million years anyway (and I'm usually quite happy to kill the time!)

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No he wont kick the ball back or chase after me. He doesn't care he just wonders off elsewhere in the garden. But I do keep trying with him.

Our roads are very unsafe where we are unfortunatley people drive like bloody maniacs! Also don't think he would have the skill to walk on the curb yet.

But lots of ideas for when hes a bit older!

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herbalteabag · 21/05/2026 15:16

I would stop worrying about it so much - he's still very little and obviously doesn't really like walking! You could just take out a bike or scuttlebug or scooter round the block with the baby in the sling, so you're close to home. Why does it matter that it's walking?
I don't have many memories of my youngest walking, well not in a straight line anyway! He would climb things, or he would escape from his buggy like a small Houdini and run around shops, but going from A to B on two feet was not really his thing. I can't even remember him walking to school until he was in high school - it was always scooter or bike!
We got him a mini micro for his second birthday which he was very enthusiastic about.

Original poster

ThePoisedOpalBird · 21/05/2026 15:21

herbalteabag · 21/05/2026 15:16

I would stop worrying about it so much - he's still very little and obviously doesn't really like walking! You could just take out a bike or scuttlebug or scooter round the block with the baby in the sling, so you're close to home. Why does it matter that it's walking?
I don't have many memories of my youngest walking, well not in a straight line anyway! He would climb things, or he would escape from his buggy like a small Houdini and run around shops, but going from A to B on two feet was not really his thing. I can't even remember him walking to school until he was in high school - it was always scooter or bike!
We got him a mini micro for his second birthday which he was very enthusiastic about.

We have been advised to increase his exercise to see if it helps with his behaviour so it isn't about being concerned that he isn't walking its being concerned I cant channel his behaviour into exercise.

It is also a bit dull taking the boys on trips out for the day as we cant stay in the house and all he wants to do is sit in the buggy.

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Tillow4ever · 21/05/2026 15:23

ThePoisedOpalBird · 21/05/2026 13:23

I didn't know you could contact them anytime. When I mentioned at the babys checkup that I had some concerns about toddlers behaviour they said we could review it at his 2 year check. But I will contact them again.

Literally saw the doctor last week! He says lots of words and is starting to put them together into small sentences like 'spider gone box'. I'm not sure how much is he doesn't understand but rather doesn't care to get involved and follow what I Say.

I wouldn't mind if it was he gets tired but he wont walk even initially. Whether thats at home once we are out the door he refuses or if we go somewhere like the forest or beach he asks for carry or pram straight away and wont move!

Possibly his behaviour at home isn't energy related but we were advised by GP to increase his exercise to see if it helped his anger and tantrums.

I have attempted to ask him to push the pram/trolley but he refuses to let me touch it and he cant push it on his own.

Baby is exclusively breastfed and cosleeps so nobody is able to take baby for a few hours as he eats frequently. I rarely put the baby down as he cries as soon as you do. I do leave him for a few minutes when I need to change toddlers nappy or make him food but my toddler gets super overwhelmed when the baby is screaming so I can't leave him for long and he cries in the sling and carrier too so even that doesnt help. I feel awful for my toddler but I am hoping it will get better once baby is a bit bigger and can sit etc. My partner works nights so he only gets 1 day a week with us as the others he is sleeping and DS is at nursery.

Soft play we only started properly just before baby was born (my partner would take him once a week) as prior to that he hated it even if we joined him in there. Again the park hes only the last few months been able to climb the equiptment etc and doesn't care for swings etc.

We have started to go visit his cousin twice a month who is a year older to hopefully give him someone his own age on a weekend to play with and encourage him.

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This sounds really tough, but like you’re doing all the right things. I hope the HV doesn’t fob you off. It was certainly the case we used to be able to contact them anytime, but maybe with less funding that’s not the case anymore - I would advise being forceful and say you’re really concerned.

It must be really hard with baby feeding so often and being on your own 6 days a week. I suspect jealousy is a big cause here - can you ask your 2 year old to be the important big brother and help you with the baby? I’m sure there are little things he could do that would make him think he’s still got a place that’s important to you. Did you get him a present from the baby when they were born? If not, could you leave a present somewhere and tell him it’s from his new sibling to thank him for being such a great big brother?

Original poster

ThePoisedOpalBird · 21/05/2026 15:30

Tillow4ever · 21/05/2026 15:23

This sounds really tough, but like you’re doing all the right things. I hope the HV doesn’t fob you off. It was certainly the case we used to be able to contact them anytime, but maybe with less funding that’s not the case anymore - I would advise being forceful and say you’re really concerned.

It must be really hard with baby feeding so often and being on your own 6 days a week. I suspect jealousy is a big cause here - can you ask your 2 year old to be the important big brother and help you with the baby? I’m sure there are little things he could do that would make him think he’s still got a place that’s important to you. Did you get him a present from the baby when they were born? If not, could you leave a present somewhere and tell him it’s from his new sibling to thank him for being such a great big brother?

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Yeah we did the present from the baby but to be honest i'm not sure he really understood. He adores his brother constantly wants to cuddle with him but yes I think we are dealing with a lot of jealousy!

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OrganisedOnTheSurface · 21/05/2026 17:32

ThePoisedOpalBird · 21/05/2026 13:52

All of this sounds great when he is older but currently he doesn't understand the concept of hide and see or throwing bean bags into hoops or jumping into hoops etc.

He wont dance if I put music on, he wont follow me in the forest to pick up leaves etc. His idea of playing is more throw things to the floor or spread it about. He doesn't seem to follow guidance of say lets kick the football or jump in the hoops even if I show him.

He has some softplay bits in his room but he is a bit big for them now but does use it a bit.

Bedtime hugely depends on when his nap started and when he woke up. He always goes to bed 5 hours after his last wake window unless it was a short nap. So bedtime ranges from 5.30 if he has had no/ short nap to 10pm if he has slept 4 hours.

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Sorry I know some of the suggestions seem hard if he can't follow instructions yet so someight be better further down the line

But maybe I wasn't clear with some of the suggestions he doesn't need to do set activities but simply access to items that lend them selves to open ended play that naturally leans more towards movement. So if he likes throwing his toys around (but that may not be suitable/safe in the house). Then bean bags in garden he doesn't have to hit a target get them in the same place etc just throw them to the ground then gather and repeat if he likes throwing he might be happy to gather it up and repeat it. There is no right or wrong as.lomg as it's safe. No target etc..justbthrowmand.throw again.
Also I remember spending hours painting the garden fence and patio with water.

Again playing to strengths/ interests mine loved special foam.bricks they had at there pre school/ nursery they could build towers outside knock them down and go again. (Just thinking it follows a theme of making mess but in a more controlled way for you.)
One of ours loved.making a mess emptying kitchen cupboards etc....If they got the chance (The other one played with toys independently at just over 2 and never looked at a kitchen cupboard so it was an adjustment) so figuring out the passions helped us find things they liked whilst still in our control.

I know nursery have said no concerns which is great but maybe you could see what he enjoys there it might help you plan activities he will engage with more.

Spending time with similar age cousin sounds like a fab idea.

I know with new baby it's really tricky so feel free to ignore but it might be worth trying a more consistent bed time/general routine. It doesn't have to be to the second but maybe if it replicates nursery day more with shorter nap earlier bed you might find they manage days etc better.

They are little though and have just had big changes to their .life I would be tempted to go double buggy and invest in scooter/ take the scuttle bag so they can use it as and when they feel like it and you aren't attempting to have to carry them and everything else with a single buggy. Walking can feel boring to small child focus on the activity if walking is a challenge at present.

Finally try not to worry when our children are small(or at anytime) it can feel super overwhelming these things are often phases and each day is a new day eventually something will click and you will wonder why you didn't see it/ think of it before.

PluckedFromThinAir · 21/05/2026 20:08

ThePoisedOpalBird · 20/05/2026 17:55

Because he is having a really hard time with his behaviour. Aggression, destruction, bouncing off the walls and climbing all the furniture at home so it was suggested to try and get him out burning energy to try and regulate him and help.

He sleeps amazingly still having 3-4 hour daytime naps and 11-12 hours overnight.

He seems to run around just fine at home and nursery climbing everything and everyone. Just when out and about he seems to not care for it.

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Climbing frame in the garden to burn off energy?

Honestly it sounds like you’ve tried everything I would suggest… maybe just let him sit in the pram then. One day he will get out and walk and you’ll have saved all that time stressing about it?

He will want to walk when the baby does!

Oolordy · 21/05/2026 20:16

Was he a colicky, unsettled baby @ThePoisedOpalBird ?

Did he crawl before walking?

When did he walk?

Original poster

ThePoisedOpalBird · 22/05/2026 05:13

Oolordy · 21/05/2026 20:16

Was he a colicky, unsettled baby @ThePoisedOpalBird ?

Did he crawl before walking?

When did he walk?

Not really. We had the witching hours for the first few months and we coslept for all sleep until a year.

Crawled before he walked and walked fully unaided at 1. Was cruising for months before that.

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Watercooler · 22/05/2026 06:22

I would relax. Climbing frame in the garden, sit and have a cup of tea. Lots of praise when he does get up and do stuff. I did at this age while the baby couldn't understand do a bit of "wow that's amazing, I bet [baby] won't be able to do that for years"

CoverLikelyZebra · 22/05/2026 08:14

How old is the new baby? I am wondering if this refusal is actually an emptionally based thing where he is feeling that he is being "replaced" and it showing that he doesn't feel ready to be quite so grownup just yet? If so you wouldn't be able to "explain" or "logic" it away as it would be happening on a very instinctual and subconscious level but you might get somewhere with praise and admiration that is attributed as coming from the baby as well as from you ie "you are so strong! Wwll done! (Babyname) will be feeling so jealous that you can get up to the top of the climbing frame so fast!"

Also I wonder - what are you doing at the playground? Are you getting there then sitting on a bench and looking at your phone? He's learning from you and wants to be with you. Is there a park that has those adult exercise equipment things anywhere around you? So you can play on the mummysize things while he is running about? (Obviously he may need you nearby for some of the things, but making it clear that you are all there for active playtime not sitting down)

Original poster

ThePoisedOpalBird · 22/05/2026 09:12

CoverLikelyZebra · 22/05/2026 08:14

How old is the new baby? I am wondering if this refusal is actually an emptionally based thing where he is feeling that he is being "replaced" and it showing that he doesn't feel ready to be quite so grownup just yet? If so you wouldn't be able to "explain" or "logic" it away as it would be happening on a very instinctual and subconscious level but you might get somewhere with praise and admiration that is attributed as coming from the baby as well as from you ie "you are so strong! Wwll done! (Babyname) will be feeling so jealous that you can get up to the top of the climbing frame so fast!"

Also I wonder - what are you doing at the playground? Are you getting there then sitting on a bench and looking at your phone? He's learning from you and wants to be with you. Is there a park that has those adult exercise equipment things anywhere around you? So you can play on the mummysize things while he is running about? (Obviously he may need you nearby for some of the things, but making it clear that you are all there for active playtime not sitting down)

Baby is only 3 months. I do think some of it is emotional but he still wouldn't do these things pre baby either.

When we are at the park I stand near where he is playing so I can watch and praise him whilst holding the baby. The baby wont lay in the pram or carrier so I have to physically hold him as if he starts screaming my toddler gets very overwhelmed and angry.

We dont have a park with any exercise equiptment stuff near us. Its a very basic climbing structure and slide and swings and a few bits hes too young for.

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Mischance · 22/05/2026 09:23

Sounds like jealousy of baby. Can you get someone to look after baby while you and he go on a "grown up" outing together?

Original poster

ThePoisedOpalBird · 22/05/2026 09:26

Mischance · 22/05/2026 09:23

Sounds like jealousy of baby. Can you get someone to look after baby while you and he go on a "grown up" outing together?

Baby is exclusively breastfed and cosleeps so not at the moment no unfortunately not.

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Nickyknackered · 22/05/2026 09:38

ThePoisedOpalBird · 22/05/2026 05:13

Not really. We had the witching hours for the first few months and we coslept for all sleep until a year.

Crawled before he walked and walked fully unaided at 1. Was cruising for months before that.

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1 as in 12 months or 18 months though?

I'll admit there does appear to be several issues which all feel linked to me. You also said you can't stand socialising with other people, do you have a diagnosis yourself?

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 22/05/2026 09:51

He’s still having 3-4 hour naps! At 2. He’s tired then and obviously gets fractious at home. Would he play a game when out? How quickly can he do something? Little races with you? What about playground equipment? Does he like a slide?

Or he might be working out how to get your attention and is jealous! Not unheard of.

Original poster

ThePoisedOpalBird · 22/05/2026 09:52

Nickyknackered · 22/05/2026 09:38

1 as in 12 months or 18 months though?

I'll admit there does appear to be several issues which all feel linked to me. You also said you can't stand socialising with other people, do you have a diagnosis yourself?

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12 months literally a week or so after his birthday.

No official diagnosis but highly suspect some autism and ADHD based on lots of my own issues.

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Original poster

ThePoisedOpalBird · 22/05/2026 09:55

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 22/05/2026 09:51

He’s still having 3-4 hour naps! At 2. He’s tired then and obviously gets fractious at home. Would he play a game when out? How quickly can he do something? Little races with you? What about playground equipment? Does he like a slide?

Or he might be working out how to get your attention and is jealous! Not unheard of.

Yep its a lot of sleep when he is at home. I know I should cap it but i'm very aware if hes tired I want him to rest.

No he wont play games like races and stuff (not sure he understands enough to play it). He will climb up the structure and down the slide a few times and then says done and walks out the park generally. It very much depends on his mood!

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Watercooler · 22/05/2026 10:04

I would cut the naps. Mine didn't nap after 18 months. Hours of sleeping seems excessive. If his behavior is off and he's napping a lot I would get an ENT check in case he is having sleep apnea.

I wonder if you're expecting too much independent play at the park. My dc needed to be played with in the sense I would stand there with baby in a sling and pretend to be a crocodile and snap them as they run past, or the troll under the slide. If you're just standing there observing I can understand why he's done pretty quickly.

InternalMonitoring · 22/05/2026 10:08

We had a micro scooter with seat for DS at that age. He hated walking too. You can get a strap to pull him along with. It’s a tricky age, especially with a new baby.

DS is now 13 and still doesn’t enjoy general everyday walking but loves sports, running etc. Obviously he walks but does not enjoy “going on a walk” like some.

Original poster

ThePoisedOpalBird · 22/05/2026 10:10

Watercooler · 22/05/2026 10:04

I would cut the naps. Mine didn't nap after 18 months. Hours of sleeping seems excessive. If his behavior is off and he's napping a lot I would get an ENT check in case he is having sleep apnea.

I wonder if you're expecting too much independent play at the park. My dc needed to be played with in the sense I would stand there with baby in a sling and pretend to be a crocodile and snap them as they run past, or the troll under the slide. If you're just standing there observing I can understand why he's done pretty quickly.

I assume you mean cut them down not cut them out because days he doesn't nap at nursery he has the most awful nightime sleep! I guess cut them down to 2 hours max?

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How can I encourage my two year old to walk more?

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