How can I encourage my two year old to walk more?

[ThePoisedOpalBird]

I have a lovely 2 year old who I am having lots of issues with tantrums and refusals.

One of the biggest issues I have is his refusal to walk anywhere. We go to the shops he wont walk or hold my hand. If we go to the beach or forest he wont walk and run around he wants to be in the pram (I have to have the pram due to younger baby) or be carried.

I have tried walking away from him or just trying to wait but he just lays on the floor and gets in a comfy position as if to nap!

I have tried making it fun (hopping like a from, racing to the lampost, being a monkey or dinosaur), I have tried encouraging him to look for leaves etc.

He is a bit better if we take his scuttle bug but he will soon be too big for it and I cant carry a normal bike, push a pram and carry a toddler around if he gets bored of a proper bike when out.

I can deal with most of his tantrums about not getting his way etc as I just ignore it but I am finding this really hard! He will happily sit in the pram or be carried instead of walking but this defeats the whole point of taking him out to burn energy as he just wants to sit or be carried.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

At 2 years old + 2 months I wouldn’t expect him to be walking especially far distances. Is a buggy board an option?

I'm with @Lifeisexpensive - I'm wondering if there's something medical going on. Not wanting to do boring walking from A to B is one thing and pretty common, but combining that with not wanting to run around and play at any of the usually toddler places and the very high sleep needs is more unusual and would make me wonder if there's something more going on.

What sort of buggy do you have? Often you can fit a balance bike or a scooter in the basket (more like on top of the basket) with a bit of practice. We had the child wear a small rucksack to give us a 'grab handle' to help with braking, steering, and pushing if needed, but it's not much fun to do that with one hand and push a buggy with the other for long distances.

My dd was a bit like this. She wanted carrying everywhere until she was 4, I was pregnant and I physically couldn't anymore. She does have hyper mobility and is also affected by the cold a lot which would impact her motivation to do in anything when we were out. Even on a normal day she would be cold but wouldn't say "I'm cold" instead would just be clingy. She did grow out of it all and now walks everywhere - we do 40k steps most weekends.

I think the issue is you worrying about there being an issue. I would just go with the flow for a few months and then reassess. If he wants to sit, let him sit. Get a sling for baby.

I certainly have at least one set of friends who literally just offered a chocolate button per 200 yards of walking. I thought they were brave, as I could imagine ds simply reducing the distance until the entire walk was an uproar of begging/lying down/wrestling/arguing. In the end I just accepted that walking anywhere was not going to be particularly enjoyable for many years.

Like others I do question whether the behaviour is about too much energy - that sounds like the sort of thing people don’t say about girls. I think he’s communicating. How is his speech doing?

Honestly theres a limited amount you can do due to comprehension.

I let them get on with it.
Just bring the pram and let them hop in and out.
I am strict on not carrying they walk or pushchair thsts it.

I also use bribes. Not as elaborate as tree fairies. Just a plain old. If you walk to the park you can get one thing from the cafe.
Or ypu can have a chocolate button / ice pop./ whatever when you get home

I have strong willed children

Do not make it a battle.
" its okay. You can choose what you like" is something I say a lot about thigs that dont matter

Once bigger we do racing and also can you get to thst tree lets look at X etc.

My daughter is 2 years 2 months and has only very recently started walking much - she always wanted to be carried or pram - even on bike she wouldn’t pedal, just sit back and be pushed. What really works for us is going out with friends. The other day she walked such a long way around a farm, holding her little friends hands and being encouraged to run about by the others all getting excited - they’ll do loads more together than just on their own. Do you have friends with the same age toddlers? NCT group? Plan stuff with them I’d suggest - way easier.

That it is a very unusual amount of sleep hes needing, has he always been like that? I wonder if his behaviour is a reaction to the baby arriving rather than needing exercise.

But it doesn't make my life easier when we are home as he isn't burning energy. I cant take the balance bike out as I cant carry it all unfortunately.

GP has looked at him and said no concerns with him being in pain... he doesn't seem in pain when hes climbing over the back of the sofa or climbing all over us and nuraery haven't expressed any concerns and hes always running and climbing there.

He wont stand on the buggy board and it still doesn't help him burn energy. I have something for him to sit in on the buggy its just he wants to be in it or be carried.

I don't necessarily worry about there being an issue with him not wanting to walk its more when he wont walk or run around when we go places it makes it very hard to burn his energy which is what was suggested to help his behaviour at home.

Pre 1 he basically never slept more than 30 mins. Once he hit 1 a switch flipped and he suddenly loved his sleep! I thought it would calm down and he would have more normal naps by now but at home he sleeps 3-4 hours after only being awake for 5 hours.

This. Also regression is absolutely normal when a new baby arrives. Especially if new baby is in the pram that was previously the 2 year old's.
I think your expectations of your 2 year old are unreasonable tbh.
Either a sling for the baby, a buggy board or pram seat (if it is a pram rather than a push chair) or a double buggy would be easier. I borrowed a double buggy until ds1 was almost 3 and could walk a bit more. Used a sling for ds2 whenever possible. It was a challenging time but we managed.

We don't have any friends to be able to go out and about with for him to learn.

I had a double buggy (mine and 2 years 3 weeks apart) don’t worry if he’s riding, but give the opportunity for him to run about. I suspect there’s some jealousy too involved

Have you had his iron levels checked? Iron deficiency anaemia is fairly common in toddlers (let's face it, they're not great at eating substantial servings of a fully balanced diet!) and it can show up as tiredness or lethargy. GP should be able to do bloods, or your health visitor in some areas I think.

Have you tried swimming? It might be a better way to burn energy? Make sure you get a little thermal vest thing though.

Occupational therapy websites are a treasure trove of ideas for indoor exercise and games if he prefers being indoors.

GP wont test for anything. They say he is growing great and has lots of energy just high sleep needs! But we should have health visitor too for his 2 year check soon so I will speak to them.

Thank you. I think I will just have to accept I won't be able to combat his behaviour at home with exercise and just go out places for a walk myself with the buggy. At least he is getting fresh air.

I have seen straps or elastic cords to tie a balance bike to the pram if that would work?
I sympathise as I had one who wouldn't walk anywhere (though he would burn off energy when we got there). I eventually persuaded him onto the buggy board by giving him loads of praise for even stepping on it.
If you are at the park and he says he's done I'd just stay and chat to other mums/go on your phone/read a book. He might get bored and go back on.

Swimming is a good idea, though I have to say I always found MY exhaustion so extreme afterwards that I couldn’t do it more than every couple of weeks at most.

It sounds an exhausting time. Are there any toddler groups? I’m worried you don’t have any friends. I have no idea how I’d have survived this stage without my friends. Lots of them I had zero in common with really but they were still comrades.

He is terrified of the swimming pool and completely freaks out wearing any sort of floatation device so I don't think I could manage him and the baby on my own there.

We only have 1 toddler group a week in our town which is free and its on a day he is at nursery (which I can't change). I don't mind not having friends 😊

Lots of people saying make your life easier short term are why kids are so sedentary these days, walking should be a normal part of life, it's great you are trying to encourage him. I was horrified when I helped on primary school trips and some kids would whine about the most basic walk to the bus stop.

Is he the same with his dad? The lying down and getting comfortable on the ground shows that he knows he's safe and you won't leave him, which is lovely, but might also show he knows he's in charge.

Peer pressure is your friend, is there anyone you can walk to nursery with, for example? If his only peer is the baby being pushed in a buggy, he's wanting that too, can you have baby in a sling so no buggy option. Also start with a different goal and walking just happens to be the way you get there. What does he like? What are the things he's excited by?

I don't mind that he wants to he in the buggy sometimes but when its constant and he needs to burn energy its very fruatrating.

He is the same with everyone, me, his dad, my sister even my dad!

We don't have anyone to walk to nursery with as we don't know anyone. We usually drive as its about a mile away.

Id have to take the pram even if baby was in the sling as he wont tolerate more than 15 mins in the sling and its probably a 45- 1hr min walk if 2 year old was actually walking and 25 min walk back. He also then wants to be carried if I am carrying baby so he still refuses to walk 😞

He isn't really excited for much. He shouts to go to the park and will get his shoes on and walk out the door but the second you are out the door he will sit there until he is in the pram or carried. I have tried saying 'fine we can't go to the park then' but he doesn't care he goes back inside happily.

We have tried playing chase, setting a goal, going to the beach saying lets run to the icecream stand and get icrcream. None of it works.

But at home and nursery he doesn't sit still! The second we are out its like he is broken.

He's too young for it now but when he's a bit older I'd suggest playing Drawbridge on any walks - the kid runs ahead to as far as point as the parent can still see them. They grab a stick or put out their arm and when the parent reaches them, the kid gets to ask an open-ended question e.g. What's the best planet etc. Once the parent's replied, the kids lifts the "drawbridge" and they can pass. This doesn't sound super exciting but I cannot overstate how much the average kid loves playing this on a walk.