7 year old playing out?

[PaigeRX]

Hello
Do you let your children play out and how old are they? My daughter is 7
I don’t feel comfortable at all letting my 7 year old daughter play out by herself with her friends, without me being present. We don’t live in a quiet area, I don’t trust other people and in all honesty I don’t fully trust her yet. Her friends are always out, a group of them and always ask her to play out, but I’ve said no. I do feel bad and she gets upset, but her safety is more important to me.
Yesterday, I compromised with her - I said I will park on the street and stay in my car to watch her. I was still on edge but I had full view of her. Does anyone else do this?
One child kept running across the road without looking I had to go over and tell them to be careful of the cars! I felt responsible for the whole lot.

Yr 6 and age 11 was when I relaxed about this and I have a very sensible child.

It depends what you mean by playing out - my eldest was allowed to play in the front of our house at 6/7 but we lived in a quiet cul-de-sac and I could see him from my kitchen window. I wouldn't allow a 7 year old to roam around or be crossing roads.

Since he was about 5, I let my 7 year old go by himself to his friends' house or to the small shop (3 minutes walk, no roads to cross) and to play in the street or go to the football pitches/playpark (3 minute walk, 1 minor road with a zebra crossing) with his 9 year old brother.

But we live in a very safe area AND we are not in the UK so it's not anything unusual - he will also be allowed to walk to school (7 minutes walk, 1 road to cross with a zebra crossing) by himself from next September (still aged 7).

Mine was allowed to play in our street at age 7 (quiet street, minimal traffic, could be seen from
the house) but was more like 9 being allowed to go to the playground etc with friends.
7 is a bit too young to be unsupervised in my opinion

You're not unreasonable, 7 is way too young, responsible or not. They are not mature enough to deal with situations that may occur: a ball in the road, a person driving erratically, a dog bite, older mean teenagers and other way worse things. Of course they are all hypothetical and unlikely scenarios until they happen, at which point it's too late.

I understand your dilemma as so many parents are so gung ho about this sort of thing, and you feel awful because by default your child will now be left out because she can't join her friends, but your child is precious and if anything happens to them you would never forgive yourself. You're not mollycoddling, you're being sensible. 7 is way too young to expect this level of independence.

It’s a hard question to answer because it depends on so many factors- how sensible the child is, the area, access to roads, etc. my daughter was about 7.5 when she was allowed to play out with friends. But we live in a quiet housing estate and although there’s a road outside our house it’s very quiet and my daughter was very good crossing it at that age. We have small play parks at either end of our street and DD was allowed to go as far as either of those at that age. The area has widened as she’s got older and now at 11.5 she’s allowed to the further away park and local shops. She’ll get the bus into town with friends soon.

Do you let them go on the Internet?

I let our 7 year old walk down the quiet road outside our house on a nice estate to the book library 4 doors down on opposite side (I can see from our door or window).
She has also played out the front with a friend and both us mums were outside with them.
There’s a green and a park opposite the end of our road & across a busier road, but we wouldn’t let her over there alone yet as it’s not in our sight.

Both Of mine play out 7,10 they have a group of kids the same age - eldest 11. They play in-front of my house and up and down the cul de sac. You’re anxious, they’re not. Don’t watch other peoples kids and then moan about it. Say no or let her play, freely as the other are allowed to. The fact you don’t trust your child is an issue, may be they need more opportunity to build that trust or you need to address your own anxiety. I wouldn’t be happy if you were taking it upon yourself to supervise my children during their free play.

only since my child was 11. i don’t think age 7 is old enough.

Nope. Not until about 10. My parents were the same in the 1980s and it didn’t prevent me turning into an independent young person.

I walked to school and back (3 km) when 7 and played outside all the time. I got sexually abused once when outside so I wouldn't let my children outside where I can't see them before older and in group.

I don't think there is an agreed rule. It depends on the child, their friends and where you live. From what you say, your child should not be playing out unsupervised.

RapunzelHadExtensions
Do you let them go on the Internet?

irl they can get knocked down by a car or idiot on a scooter, can have a roaming dog attack them or have idiots hassle them.

I tend to think if you wouldn’t leave them home alone, don’t let them out alone.

We live in a cul de sac and they played out with the other children but the parents were out in the garden. I think they were about 10 when we stopped that

Yes but I live in Scotland where it’s completely normal for children to play out from that age or younger. All the kids play out. It wouldn’t be normal to not let our kids do this. It’s part of childhood.

My 7 year old plays with another 7 year old who lives opposite after school. They play on scooters, football etc on a wide concrete foot path outside his friend’s front garden. We live in a very quiet cul de sac, I can see from our upstairs bedroom window, as can the other mum. Our boys know and understand the parameters of where they can play and are very sensible about scooting on the paths around the close. Zero issues.

I too played out myself from age 6 with a neighbouring child, and loved the freedom of pottering about our close on my roller skates, climbing trees and playing with tennis equipment. I much preferred being outside.

Children need to start to develop their own confidence, independence and resilience to sort things out themselves with their friends, without adults constantly supervising and intervening. It creates unnecessary anxiety.

I did let my son play out, but that mainly meant him going between gardens as he pleased and sometimes scootering up the path on the street which was wide and safe. The street is very safe. I think it all depends where you are.

No in your situation I wouldn't allow it, because of the traffic. My eldest did at that age but we lived in a cul de sac and I could see the kids from the house.

She was at home, he was a fed ex driver delivering post.

My DD does but we live on the edge of a very quiet new build estate on a dead end road. She plays with a neighbouring child who is older and they come in and out of each house and play out the front where we can see them. We're very lucky with were we live

It hasn't come up as a question for my 8yo at all. None of her friends play out so she'd have no one to go out with, and she never sees anyone else play out in the area so it's not something she has asked to do. We're in a very busy part of central London, and lots of tourists and visitors to the area pass by our street, and there's a homeless hostel, so it wouldn't feel safe at all. But there's also more of a culture of supervised play dates and trips out with family, and there's no appeal of playing on a street corner compared to playing in someone's house or garden, or visiting a large park or attraction with family.

I've got an 8 and 10 yr old. My 10 yr old is allowed (doesn't really) and can walk to and from clubs etc which are just up/down one road. My 8 yr old would 100% get run over, she's very responsible but a bit impulsive and quite naive. We were out on a walk and I heard shouting/fighting- she didn't even notice, ran straight towards it. I would be OK if she was literally right outside my house but absolutely not out of my sight on roads etc.
Absolutely none of the kids in her year at school play out and we all live in small, safe, friendly villages.
For the person asking about the Internet- nope, she can only access it with adult supervision for the same reasons as going out - she's too naive and impulsive. She is fine following these rules.