Do things really change when the other parent has another child with someone else

[NeedingASafeSpace]

My ex is having a child and I am worried how it may affect my DC. I don’t want my son to feel left out or left aside.

I imagine hugely

I know things will change. My point is, I’d never want my son to feel he is now playing second fiddle

Well that depends on your ex

Is he a good Dad to your DC?

How would I even know if he was? My son is young I don’t think he would be able to tell me.

He is a good father to my DC. I worry that he may be turned into focussing more on his new DC with GF. She can be a bit of a princess

How is old is your son?

If he’s a good father, then he won’t be “turned”

Many are more invested in their step kids let alone biological

These situations I find so sad, naturally it will affect him, you just need to try and minimise it and give him that extra foundation and hopefully it will see him through

If the other child is living with his father full time, that's going to be hard, but his father can still make sure your son is fully welcome in his home and be a good Dad. Things will change and your son will have feelings, but the adults can make a big difference to how he experiences and resolves those.

My experience is that my two children mattered less to my ex-husband once he got a new GF and she had a baby.

They never see him now.

It’s probably best not to blame men’s actions on women’s personalities. If he decides to not be a good dad to his child, it’s because he’s not a good dad, not because she’s a ‘princess’
her (apparent) personality is irrelevant really

My daughters friend - her dad has a new GF and baby and she has been massively pushed out (she is 10 this happened last year) and my daughter told me she’s really upset about it and daughters friend said to the GF “isn’t my sister cute”
she replied “she’s not your real sister” which is awful
but people can Be unkind -
hopefully not everyone tho

My son is with me full time. Sees his dad EOW

Respectfully, I think id slap her for hurting my child that way.

Then try to see that from your son's POV. I had a friend at school who was 10 when her father had a baby with his new wife. To make it harder, the new baby was also a girl. That baby had her father full time. She got him sometimes. That baby occupied a bigger place in his life and lived with him. That's huge for a child.

Unfortunately, we can't protect our children from every hurt and pain in life, we can just help them through it.

Ah another “great dad” who only does EOW.

No one can say.
My DS was dropped faster than a hot cake when his bios new one came along.
My Friends child the same age has a fantastic relationship with her dad, GF and siblings.

All you can do is support your son whatever happens.
Please dont smack her in the mouth - no matter how tempting it is.

If he’s not massively invested now - seeing him two days out of 14 isn’t a lot - I can’t imagine his parenting will improve with another child. I think all you can do is be the best parent you can be, let your child know how much you love them unconditionally and seek out supports if needed. Any other good adults in his life that he can depend on for a consistent relationship?

People will rush to tell you that it doesn’t affect the existing child, that all children are treated exactly the same, that all siblings, half siblings, step siblings get on like a house on fire.
The reality is usually somewhat different.
I can name endless adults who cite their patents preferring the new shiny children over them and how it has adversely affected them throughout their entire life.
On other hand, I’ve only met one person who said she loved her half siblings like full siblings. The difference here was that it was her mother who had new children with another partner, and she lived full time with all her siblings.

This is sadly my experience too.
My dc are adults now and view my dh as their ‘other’ parent. We chose to have no dc of our own so we could focus on making my two feel as secure as possible. Not an easy decision but absolutely the right one for them. There were many occasions where they were made to feel ‘second best’ around their Dad’s other family but with us they were always the centre of both mine and dh’s worlds and it definitely compensated for what their Dad put them through.

Maybe. Or maybe not. Not all dads are deadbeats. My DP had to fight to get his DD every weekend, would have liked more but due to work this wasnt possible (he has very early starts 5.30/6am on weekdays). His exW only wanted him to have EOW at the most as 'she couldn't live without DD all the time'. DD is now coming up to Uni choice age and this is being directed at her now. Shes being told by her mum 'you cant go further than x to uni as its too far from me'. Its not always the Dad being the bad guy and we cant tell without knowing all their story.

Sorry the GF said "she's not your sister"?!

That's a huge red flag and if the father had any sense he would call the GF out on this because if she can say something like this then she will never treat his older child with affection (and if they marry she will never accept the older child)

It is a recipe for disaster if you couple with someone who has disdain for your child. That poor girl.

I’m worried immensely for this change, for my little one.