Anyone else feel wistful about ‘missed’ milestones with a late walker?

[Orangexup]

(I do have bigger things to worry about than this, of course. That said…)

DS is 18 months and is still a good few months off walking independently. He’s a ‘big lad’ and so once he is walking, he’ll just look like a regular toddler rather than a cute little baby. I sometimes I feel wistful at some of the milestones we’ve missed. For example, I had visions of him stomping around in the puddles, or toddling around soft play.

I also worry he’s missing out a little on play opportunities at nursery because the other babies his age are walking.

I’m probably not articulating myself very well but I wondered if any other mums of late walkers could relate?

Mine walked at 18 months but was never very toddly as he wouldn't walk unaided until very confident so basically went straight to running. Still plenty of puddle splashing and hopefully for years still to come.

Ours were both very late walkers. One was enormously fat and an efficient bum shuffler, the other was dainty and a super fast crawler. Not sure why they were slow to walk, but I never felt they missed out on anything. They both walked at 17 months, by which time they were speaking in full sentences, so exhausting in their own sweet way. 😩

Are you in the UK @Orangexup? The NHS advice is to see the GP if they’re not walking by 18 months.

7 months! Oh my! That must have been such hard work

Mine didn't walk until 21 months, and I was too busy stressing about it to think about missing her splashing in puddles haha

Also felt this with my son who is now 4 with minimal speech. SALT doing little in the way of helping it seems. Always yearned for his cute baby speech but years on years of nothing. I definitely relate to OP here. It also stung for me when hearing other little ones, even 1 year old babbling away saying words in that cute baby voice.

My DD2 has better speech than my son, but even that has only just started to really come on. Even the difference in hearing her say words now compared to him hurts in a way that I cant even articulate. Im so proud of them both but you still feel like you missed out. Its a strange and sad feeling.

Im glad to hear your DD is doing brilliantly in school, I so hope the same happens for my kids! You must be very proud, and should be!

This…
Unless you have visions of him not walking till he’s four

DD didn’t walk until 18m and was also physically very lacking in confidence. Turns out she has very poor close vision and needed glasses. Her fine motor skills were excellent, we would never have guessed she couldn’t really see but in hindsight it really affected her confidence especially (when she was a bit older) with climbing and jumping. Worth an eye test maybe?

Hello op. My DD was a later walker and late crawler - didn’t crawl until 13 months and didn’t walk until almost 20 months. I used to tie myself in knots over it - it can be so frustrating and disheartening, especially when you see other similar age babies bounding around. I do get what you mean, but please don’t lose too much sleep over it, he’ll still look adorable pootling around :). He will still stomp in puddles (my nearly 4 yo DD loves this) and toddle about.

@NorthantsNewbie thats interesting, what made you get the eye check, were there any other indications? His fine motor skills and attention to details are incredible.

@TinyMouseTheatre because he’s a bum shuffler, the GP will just say to come back if he’s still not walking at 24 months.

Thanks to posters for the reassurance, I know it’s not the end of the world to have missed out on those things, it’s just something I ponder now and then that’s all.

Is THIS your thread as well?

We did get a physio referral at 17 months for my DD who was also a bum shuffler but I had to push for it. She wasn’t cruising or walking with hands held at that point. Some bum shufflers turn out to have hypermobility and/or hypotonia but many don’t as well.

No… I think his not walking is within the normal range for him, I can’t see any other causes for ‘concern,’ and I am sure he will walk before 24 months.

DS didn't walk until 18 months (almost on the dot), didn't occur to me to think about anything I might have missed on that account. TBH I was quite glad of having relatively late walkers (oldest DC walked at 14 months) whenever I watched parents who had to chase around kids who had got mobile early and thus enjoyed the hilarious game of 'run away from mum and dad'!

The NHS advice is still to see the GP if they’re not walking by 18 months though.

If you’re not keen, then I would at least fill in and score the 18 months Ages & Stages abd talk to your HV about him not walking walking yet

Sorry I hadn’t read all of your posts before and I didn’t realise he was a bum shuffler.

Has your HV asked you to fill in a Social & Emotional Ages & Stages yet? If not, I think it’s really worth filling it in and seeing how he scores

He’ll still be stomping around in little puddlesuits aged 3. Youve got long way to go op!

He scores 5? I’m not sure what the relevance is to walking?

That’s really good. The only bum shufflers I’ve ever known have all have ASD so it’s good to know that he’s low risk

Oh. I wasn’t expecting that response!

I had a bum-shuffler. I found it very frustrating at the time when I saw the other babies cruising round and taking cute wobbly steps and being able to have fun at soft play. But after she eventually walked I didn't care and look as fondly back at her just suddenly standing up and steadily walking off as an older toddler as I do my crawling child's first wobbly steps as a baby.

This! You’re being somewhat melodramatic here op, he’s only 18 months, not 18 years!

I was a bum shuffler and walked at 17 months, apparently they were getting worried and thought something was wrong with me then one day I just got up and walked around, so your baby might well do the same.

My youngest twins were late walkers and by contrast my nephew walked at 8 months - my sil is sad that she missed a huge chunk of the baby stage as they got to toddling so fast and despite efforts couldn’t have a second baby. She doesn’t dwell on it but I know she felt like she missed out a bit. I’ve never heard a child being delayed to 24 months though. I know they were talking about referring us by 17 months but the girls walked at 16 months.

My son was a late walker, he was nearly 3. I don't feel like I missed anything as he got there eventually, just later. I did have an extra bonus milestone though. His talking was miles ahead of his walking so when he walked for the first time with a walker he would shout "look mummy I is walking" over and over again. It was so cute.