Anyone else feel wistful about ‘missed’ milestones with a late walker?

[Orangexup]

(I do have bigger things to worry about than this, of course. That said…)

DS is 18 months and is still a good few months off walking independently. He’s a ‘big lad’ and so once he is walking, he’ll just look like a regular toddler rather than a cute little baby. I sometimes I feel wistful at some of the milestones we’ve missed. For example, I had visions of him stomping around in the puddles, or toddling around soft play.

I also worry he’s missing out a little on play opportunities at nursery because the other babies his age are walking.

I’m probably not articulating myself very well but I wondered if any other mums of late walkers could relate?

Has he been seen by a GP or are you just going off what your HV has said? NICE guidelines suggest he should be referred to a paediatrician https://cks.nice.org.uk/topics/common-musculoskeletal-presentations-in-children/management/delayed-walking-in-children/#:~:text=Children%20should%20be%20referred%20for%20specialist%20assessment,a%20child%20development%20service%20or%20pediatric%20services.

I was a bum shuffler too!

You can't really trust health visitors advice sadly - it's a real issue because people think they are talking to a health professional, but really HV advice is often horribly outdated, their opinion, or just completely wrong.

Your instincts are probably correct, but he should be seen by a paediatrician to confirm.

My DS has a significant development delay. it did make me sad and I do still worry about his future. He's my 3rd child and I know I shouldn't compare, but the older ones met all their milestones at the typical rate. My DS doing it later made that feeling of pride so much more immense, I'm still in absolute awe of some of the things he learnt 6 months ago. So, it may make you sad now but once he does walk it will probably feel so much more special.

he'll be stomping in puddles at reception age - I assure you!

Have you tried giving him a pushalong stroller - like this?

DS2 was a late walker but bowled around the house, garden, park etc with his stroller.

Dd2 was a bum shuffler. Crawling happened about 2 weeks before walking!

She also didn't really roll unless she was asleep.

I get it OP. There were lots of things that I felt DD was missing out on before she wasn't walking. Especially as we have an older child too.

Like taking DD2 to the park or to DD1s favourite place and having to keep DD2 in the pram because it's winter and she wouldn't be able to bum shuffle around. Life has opened up a bit more now DD2 can walk.

For what it's worth DD2 went from not pulling herself up on furniture, or standing at all, to walking completely unaided in 3 weeks. It was rapid, like she just decided it was time. She was 17 months.

Wow. I cant relate to you at all, sorry.

DD1 was an “advanced milestone meeter” - note quotation marks - and had teeth at 4 months, crawled at 7 months, walked at 9-10 months.

DD2 did not crawl, bum shuffle or make any attempt to move at all until 16mo when another child took a toy off her and she just stood up and walked to grab it back.

Love your child as they are.

Have you seen the GP about this? I wouldn’t go off what the HV says. Not walking at 18 months is at the upper end of normal range but not necessarily a concern yet, especially if a bum shuffler. But not being able to stand unaided at 18 months is more of a concern, I would be pushing to get him seen.

My DD was bum shuffler, can’t remember when she walked (she’s my 4th so no chance I’d remember/care)

She is now a world class gymnast, competing all over the world. And she still jumps in puddles at the age of 22! You’re not missing anything OP.

Worry not!

My youngest dd walked the length of my sister’s garden(100ft+) at 15 months then didn’t walk again until she was 2. It was almost as if she said to herself - done that, not sure what all the fuss is about I’ll stick to my walker. 😂

My youngest was a bum shuffler and didn't walk until 27mo. Turns out she's hypermobile. Yes it was very late, but she's fine now - just needed to work harder to build strength.

My ds was a cautious late walker, the thing was once he was sure he could do it perfectly (around 20 months) he got up and walked as if he’d been walking for months…you may find that your ds is similar.
in terms of missing out on things, no not really. He did all of the things that other toddlers did, the only slight issue was that the nursery he attended had a policy of “promoting” them to the next room when they could walk. I had to really insist on him going up slightly before he could walk in the end after the baby room started moaning every day that he’d been “naughty” when in reality he was just bored, frustrated and bigger than the others.

I had one who walked early-ish (11m) and my second is 20m and still not a confident walker. I can say with confidence that I haven't missed out on anything with the second! If anything, she's been a "baby" for longer and there's a lot more puddles and soft play to come..... Are you comparing your experience with other people you know? I never find it helpful to focus on anything other than how my own are doing!

DS was charging around at 13 months, which made meet-ups with other parents impossible, as he was always legging it. DD didn’t even bum shuffle. She just sat on the spot until 18 months, at which point - in the course of a single day - she decided to get up and walk. It’s not something I worried about and I don’t think I asked the health visitor about it. It was frankly preferable to know where she was! It may go on a bit longer, OP, or by next week you could be wondering why you posted. That’s the unpredictability of them!

But your child will still have all those ‘milestones’, just later than you might have anticipated?

First world problems

Can’t see a problem here

Mine moved early and I was envious of those who had baby babies for longer. The grass is always greener....

My daughter stood unaided for the first time and walked for the first time within a very short space of time. She also didn't really crawl in the traditional sense, only ever commando crawled, also for a very short period of time. She's now a very physical and active girl.

Can he stand aided? Sorry if you've said and I missed it. It may not be as far away as you think.

Yes, he can take his weight and stand aided. He is a happy cruiser and likes to walk holding our hand/s but simply isn’t confident enough to let go!

My boy was a bum shuffler as well but did start walking just before 18 months, you might find it’s not as far off as you think - children are just weird and one day they randomly start doing stuff! It might be a confidence thing with him, you said he can’t stand unaided but he’ll hold your hand while you walk him round? Just start doing this all the time and walking him wherever you can. I never stressed about my little one walking late (despite all the, “oh he’s not walking yet” I’d get 🙄) he’s the fastest child in nursery now apparently and at home I can’t take my eyes off him for a split second or he’ll bolt 😂 I long for the days I didn’t constantly fear for his life!!

See I had an early mover- and was upset that I couldn't leave her and expect her to be in the same place in a room after 3 months..
(She didn't crawl but lay on her back and wiggled her legs to get across a room, crawled at 5 months, walked at 7 months).....

Yes! My entire NCT group appeared to have what I termed (with envy) ‘pudding babies’ where you put them down somewhere and they seemed placid and happy. Mine was irritable, easily bored and liable to scrabble himself about pretty much from birth.

Don’t be silly. Of course, he’ll be doing those things. Mine were splashing in puddles and they were late walkers. And there’s no point toddling around soft play as you’ll just get completely taken out by big kids.

My DD walked at 2.5 years and did miss out on a few winters of splashing in puddles and it was hard to entertain a non walker of that age outdoors. She still got to enjoy those things eventually and you are not missing much if you skip soft play. I did feel sad when the other children in our NCT group were running around and still worry about her future but try to to let it affect my enjoyment of her. She does struggle to keep up with her friends outdoors at nursery but still has a nice little group of friends and can fully participate in indoor activities.