Anyone else feel wistful about ‘missed’ milestones with a late walker?

[Orangexup]

(I do have bigger things to worry about than this, of course. That said…)

DS is 18 months and is still a good few months off walking independently. He’s a ‘big lad’ and so once he is walking, he’ll just look like a regular toddler rather than a cute little baby. I sometimes I feel wistful at some of the milestones we’ve missed. For example, I had visions of him stomping around in the puddles, or toddling around soft play.

I also worry he’s missing out a little on play opportunities at nursery because the other babies his age are walking.

I’m probably not articulating myself very well but I wondered if any other mums of late walkers could relate?

To clarify the title, it’s not so much the milestones themselves being missed, more about what I thought he’d be doing right now, were he walking, if that makes sense.

I think you are stretching a bit hard to find something to be a bit sad about here OP. My DD was a late walker, this didnt enter my head and I didn’t miss out on anything

Dd walked at 18 months and i'm not sure i experienced similar tbh. She was definitely not left out at nursery and is still (in year 1 at primsry) best friends with her bestie from.nursery who walked at 9 months - they've been utterly inseparable since the day they met. He'll likely still toddle for s good while.yet.

My DD walked at 22 months and it wasn’t sadness it was more just worry at the time. I thought she would never walk at one point and maybe had a disability.

She’s now an Irish dancer, and a very good one 😁 .

What makes you think he's a good few months off walking?

He’ll still stomp in puddles and toddle around soft play. This is a bit of a non issue.

My DD was a late talker and also had a specific speech sound disorder that affected her clarity hugely (discharged from SALT age 5.5).

It still stings a bit when i hear friends toddlers talk. Under two with large vocabularies and cute but understandable speech.

So I think how you are feeling is normal. Comparison is the thief of joy but we all want the best for our kids and to enjoy this time when they are little so much.

But ones things for sure, the order and age they do things when little is in no way an ndicator of how they will progress when older. DD is 8, bilingual and best in her year at reading.

Enjoy your son and try not to think you’ve missed out on anything.

Your nursery example of missing out on play opportunities is bonkers. At this age, you’re either invited together and your host would be happy him crawling or he’s far, far too young to be left by himself.

I suspect you’re a glass full person? This is about you thinking the grass is greener on the other side. You’ve also missed out because he’s not a girl, or not got wonderful long curls and doesn’t speak Japanese. He’s his own little person.

He’s 18 months now and is very physically cautious. He can’t stand unaided yet.

I didn’t walk until I was 19 months and don’t think anyone was upset about it. I was just a lazy bugger 😂

I’m not sure what is meant by a ‘glass full’ person, but as I said in the OP, I do have more important things to worry about, and I have acknowledged that!

He has never crawled.

How does he get around?

I think I’d ask for a physio assessment for him

Has he had a referral yet?

On his bum, or we have to carry him, or he’ll walk if we hold his hand/s.

Bum shufflers generally don’t walk until anywhere up to 24 months, so I think it’s safe to say we have a few months of this to go yet!

Respectfully, you've got 18 years of this, and it never gets easier. Dont go down the route of comparing your son to everyone else in every thing. You are only setting yourself up for disappointment. And your son for feelings of inadequacy which can be feally damaging. Your son may not be the earliest walker but he might be the kindest boy in Reception or get amazing GCSEs or have lots of friends and be known as a great kid.

Ah bless you OP. You know in the grand scale of things this is a complete non issue. You have a life time of your child and this will fade into insignificance.

My DC didn't walk until 18 months. Was a bum shuffler rather than crawled. 20+ years on, likes walking so much will go on walking holidays.

The NHS won’t accept referrals for bum shufflers until they’re 24 months old. But I’m not worried about it as I know he will walk eventually. That’s not a concern.

Does he bum shuffle? Army crawl? Roll? Sit?

@Orangexup

My daughter is still cautious. Even when she crosses the road she will truly look and then proceed. She’s not nervous but her cautiousness was definitely a factor in her walking late. She will always assess the safety of something first before proceeding lol.

If he is 18 months and hasn’t crawled, have you mentioned this to the health visitor? They might be able to suggest something maybe?

When I was pregnant I bought the most adorable little 12-18mth yellow raincoat and had visions of walking my son to nursery wearing it 🥹

In reality, he grew so bloody quickly it made a great Halloween costume when he was about 6 months old 🎈 🤣

You will still have these moments, only they will be with your actual baby rather than a hypothetical scenario. Mine still stomps in puddles at 7 years old (and is still a giant in clothes double his actual age!)

There was always other babies more and less 'advanced' than mine so no i didn't compare it was no use too

He’ll absolutely love jumping in puddles for a few years yet. Those moments will still be special, just a little later than you imagined.

Some babies don’t crawl (despite what that Bluey episode says!). The health visitor said bum shuffling is regarded as a variant of crawling, and it means that walking comes later at any point between 18-24 months.