The parenting "trenches"

[ThelastRolo20]

Out of curiosity I'm wondering how long the parenring trenches are 😅 I say this as parent to a 4 year old and 15 month old. We're doing okay, managing well and I have an equal partner. But I'm doing okay as I'm my mind it's probably the hardest (in a physical sense) until youngest is 3. Things should start changing and becoming easier.

But then I look at some threads and the trenches are referred to with older children and I'm like, "bugger!" 😂😂

Is this children dependent? Are the trenches never ending? Should I resign myself to parenting warfare for another decade??

All tongue in cheek but generally wondering if I should consider myself in the trenches and can see the light or if I'm kidding myself?

I guess bigger kids can have bigger problems but the difference is you have more sleep and more space for yourself. It's not the same exhaustion and constant monitoring that little kids need. I remember suddenly realising how much more I was enjoying myself when my son was 6. The nice thing about little kids is they are always happy to see you and to be with you. I do miss that sometimes. But I've got my dog for that now 😂

I have a 4.5 year old and 19 month old and I too feel like I am in the trenches right now. It’s hard going with the lack of sleep, the tantrums etc.

my eldest has always been a great sleeper and my second came along and gave me a reality check.

I found that my daughter got easier when she was around 3- more independent, easier to get out and do things. Obviously I started over at that point, but I am hoping my son will be the same around that age.

For me I think it just gets easier once you can explain things and reason with them. 12-24 months is a really hard age because they are not old enough to do all the things they want to do without being constantly watched. Once my two can go out in the garden and play together and we can go out for the day and go on holiday without worrying so much about nap times and bed times, I feel like it will be easier.

As a parent of teens, I’d say there is nothing as arduous as having a child under 3. It’s the combination of the repetitiveness, physicality and mundanity of it much of it. As soon as you can go on a day out without having to factor in if you need a pushchair and loo stops and can just grab food & drinks as you go, life is totally different.
Years ago now, we had a day out one summer with three other NCT families. All of us had a 6 yo, I had a 4yo and everyone else had a 18mo. We left one place to go to another and I couldn’t figure out what was taking so long. Then I remembered that they had to help their DC2 out of their coat, strap them into their car seat, collapse the pushchair and things and then do the opposite at the other end whereas mine got back to the car, opened their own door & did up their seat belt at the same time as I did my own and my only involvement was to say “all in & ready to go?”. It was a totally different experience.

@LostearringsI think this is it, it's a military operation getting out the house even. 4 year old won't put shoes on, baby is whining as you put a coat on, 4 year suddenly needs a poo etc etc. Then just walking into town feels like an event with a 4 year old 😂

But as others have said, different challenges await as they get older, but maybe I can enjoy a hot cup of coffee..... And I'm going to throw a party the day I get rid of the high chair and pram

@Whatthefork1I'm sort of lucky my worse sleeper came first (in the sense of getting her to sleep and then co sleeping), my second is better in that regard and likes her own cot!

Really shows how innate some differences are as I had the exact same approach with both

Yeah, I wish that I had the worst sleeper first! Having a bad sleeper second, is like some kind of punishment 😅

We had this - thought we were such great parents with DC1. Then along came DC2.