Hi All,
This is a bit urgent because we have parents evening tonight so this will definitely need to be addressed.
DD 8 and 11 joined a new school last year due to a move. DD8 has had problems with girls being mean from day 1 which came to a head 4 weeks ago when one child was particularly nasty and we had to get the teachers involved.
All has calmed down for her and she’s made a good friend but a week later everything kicked off for DD11.
DD11 has had some ups and downs with friends (they seem to fall out with each other a lot!) but was fairly settled. She had a birthday party 3 weeks ago and one girl didn’t show up after confirming she was coming because they’d had a fall out the week before.
The other girls had a great time and DD best friend was there. Two days later they went back to school and her best friend, another girl and the girl who didn’t attend started leaving DD out at playtime and then telling her they “hated” her. The one that didn’t attend the party is much bigger than DD (they all are) and has started pushing her around in PE and at okay times. Ex-best friends has started joining in and sent her a note saying she hates her.
DD spoke to the teacher just over a week ago and admitted that when they’ve been abusive she’s told them to shut up or has occasionally pushed them back, but hasn’t started the behaviour. All girls agreed when asked by the teacher.
Teacher corners me at pick up, quite agitated, and said that because DD has occasionally pushed back or answered back it’s tit for tat and definitely not bullying. She emphasised that these girls are “lovely”.
In the week and a half since then it’s escalated. The girls have been saying DD is “disgusting”, and have compared her to boys and said she “stinks” (she’s very clean). Some pushing and shoving in PE led to them pushing her to the ground yesterday and one threatening to fight her. Lots of children witnessed this apparently and boys and girls stepped in to defend DD with others being shoved and one girl being told her “mum hates her” to which she burst in to tears.
Last night we emailed the Head expressing concerns regarding safety and requesting an urgent meeting.
This morning DD was very agitated about what might happen today and apparently got very upset at drop off and was too terrified to get out of the car. DP decided to take her home and informed Reception who acknowledged they had received the email. We’ve never let the children stay off for anything other than sickness before.
We have parents evening tonight so looking for advice on approaches for this. How cross would you be?
The teacher seemed great and DD loved her but unfortunately has been fairly dismissive so far and told us she would “never reprimanded the children for this type of behaviour” because she likes the children to be able to approach her about issues.
For context, DD is high achieving and has been chosen for a “elite” program at the secondary she’ll go to and is currently attending after school secondary school lessons each week because of this.