Nap transition issues

[Curlyfifteen]

Hello, I have a 3 and 7 year old.

The 3 year old was napping 2/3hrs but bedtime was very difficult. Then she stopped napping for a few weeks and bedtime was a breeze. Now she wants to nap again and gets really upset in the afternoon, so appears to really need it, even if she doesn't nap at home she falls asleep on the school run around 3pm and not much I can do about that.

I have tried different nap lengths 1.5hrs, 1 hr, 30 mins - all of them impact an 8pm bedtime. But the worst part is waking her and the 30-60mins of upset that follows. What should I do? Ideally I don't want to keep her up way later than her sister. But I just want her to be rested and happy. Any advice?

I'm not British, and I napped well until I was 5 or 6 (normal in my home country). I ocasionally still napped around the age of 7 for half an hour after school. I went to bed around 9 or 10pm, which again, was normal. You may need to accept that the very Anglo-American culture of no naps + a night sleep of 12 hours doesn't suit your daughter.

I have a toddler myself so I am in the middle of these nap battles and am a bit baffled by the insistence that they should all stop napping at the age of 2 and force them to sleep 12 hours at night.

Maybe... I did that with my first, it was ok when I just had one. But with her older sister needing to go to bed around 730/8pm on school nights it would be quite hard to get her down if she is aware her sister is staying up. And, culturally here in the UK, an 8pm bedtime is already considered by some a bit late for small kids.

My first needed a nap till just after 3 and would often be upset afterwards but a drink usually calmed them down. I still have no idea why.

Is DC2 going to Preschool or Nursery?