The Gross out thread, or, 'things you never thought you'd do for your children'

[ChirpyGirl]

So, having just spent the last 15 minutes scooping toddler poo out of the bath I suddenly realised that in the last 2.4 years I have done the following;

The aforementioned poo scooping, numerous times.
Allowed DD1 to throw up down my front rather than on the sofa.
Caught vom in my hands, this time to save my mum's beige carpet.
Picked both DD's noses with my fingers to remove large bogies
Had DD2 shit all over my boobs within seconds of the birth (I latched her on one side, she crapped and peed all over the other) and then not be able to wash it off for an hour.
Eaten food that they have sucked on and rejected as I had nowhere to throw it and nothing to put it in.

So come on, some of you must be able to beat that!

(monkeedad,, look here)

Not me, but DH (I passed over responsibility for this) had to stick his vaselined finger inside ds1's bottom to relieve constipation. Actually in his rectum and wiggle it around .

It worked though!

Also, DH was giving Ds1 a shoulder ride back from the beach and ds1 was only wearing a swim nappy. DH's face was a picture as 2 warm trails of wee trickled their way down each side of his neck and chest .

Then there was the time he was giving ds1 a shoulder ride (you'd think he'd learn) through the local shopping centre and ds1 was sick all over his head.

Or the other night when ds1 was restless, I was lying in bed with him when he started doing that funny cough that means 'in a minute I am going to chunder everywhere. I shouted for dh to bring me something for him to big in. DH promptly came running with a pint glass (wtf?) so I had to hold out my nightie for ds1 to be sick in, in a vain attempt to keep it off the bedclothes.

I know someone who eats her children's scabs. Now that is truly wrong!

Just had to say thank you, I've been crying with laughter reading these posts. Nothing new to add though.

picking their noses and then wiping it on whatever is to hand - usually my trousers

hehehehe im loving this thread .havent had any poo in bath situations thank god although there is still time as ds3 is yet to be potty trained.
ds when he was a baby had reflux and puked in my dh's mouth .
hahahaha i loved it he however didnt find it qiute so funny

"here you go mummy", DS hands me a sliver of avocado that must have fallen on the floor whilst i was chopping it up....

I put it in my mouth, "thank you darling. mmmm".

then it MOVED in my mouth. It was actually a green caterpillar he'd picked up from the garden. eeeeyuk.

oh the joys! i'm new to mumsnet & this thread had me in stitches with tears running down my face and I'm at work!
my own experinces include projectile vomit - turned my daughter to face me rather than spray across the restaurant table but half way through got it in my face and instinct made me turn her away - towards my sister-in-law!! projectile poo over my hands/legs, picked her nose, scooped sick n poo, eaten half chewed foods, watched her spew into DH mouth, blown on her bits to cool her down when nappy comes off (she loves that one!) the list goes on. so pleased I'm not the only one doing strange things in the name of love.

Julielily - I also blow on my DC's bits to make sure they're completely dry before putting on sudocreme - My DH thinks this is verging on the obscene so I am so relieved to hear I'm not the only one - both my DC's also love it!!