Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Father has Supervised access by court

56 replies

Pinkypig · 01/02/2026 11:46

My childs father has supervised visits every fortnight But im having huge issues as my son doesn't want to see him.I understand 100% its a court order but I also have to think of my sons mental health, school life and home life which it affects.What should I do please as I do encourage my son to go but he won't

OP posts:
Ohdearwhatnow4 · 01/02/2026 11:48

How old is your son? Why doesn't he want to go?

Myfridgeiscool · 01/02/2026 11:52

My friend’s child said he wanted no contact aged 4. He was very vocal about it.
He has had no contact.
Do you have active court proceedings at the moment?

Sparkletastic · 01/02/2026 11:54

How old is your son?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Pinkypig · 01/02/2026 15:00

He will be 9 in March, he doesn't want to see him he sends him off to play in the play area no interaction at all.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 01/02/2026 15:01

If is supervised there will be a report you can take back to court

Pinkypig · 01/02/2026 15:01

Myfridgeiscool · 01/02/2026 11:52

My friend’s child said he wanted no contact aged 4. He was very vocal about it.
He has had no contact.
Do you have active court proceedings at the moment?

Yes 2.5 hr every fortnight supervised by myself and its making my son ill.

OP posts:
SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 01/02/2026 15:03

Pinkypig · 01/02/2026 15:00

He will be 9 in March, he doesn't want to see him he sends him off to play in the play area no interaction at all.

I dont understand the mindset...
Why insist his son come so he can be ignored every week?
Why not just drop contact?
What is going on in that mans head?
At 9 he has a clear opinion so Id look into going back to court.

ShawnaMacallister · 01/02/2026 15:03

You can't breach a court order. If circumstances have changed you need to apply back to court to vary the court order. When was the final order granted?

Pinkypig · 01/02/2026 15:04

cestlavielife · 01/02/2026 15:01

If is supervised there will be a report you can take back to court

Its supervised by myself (mom,)

OP posts:
soupyspoon · 01/02/2026 15:04

He's 9, he can say he doesnt want to go and have that choice

However, a word of caution, is this because of being scared of dad or is there difficult behaviour from dad or is it just a bit boring?

If the latter then its better for dad to understand what his son would actually like to do, if dad doesnt respond to that, thats on him and child doesnt go but it wont do him any favours to not have a continued relationship with his dad, all children need that, but boys in particular.

So if dad can make tweaks and changes to how he interacts. Perhaps your son could write down some ideas of what he would like to do, places to go, games to play, activities to do with dad?

Pinkypig · 01/02/2026 15:04

ShawnaMacallister · 01/02/2026 15:03

You can't breach a court order. If circumstances have changed you need to apply back to court to vary the court order. When was the final order granted?

Last yr so who do I contact about this

OP posts:
soupyspoon · 01/02/2026 15:06

Pinkypig · 01/02/2026 15:04

Last yr so who do I contact about this

You dont contact anyone. If things cant be fixed and dad be more responsive and your son still doesnt want to go, then dont go. If dad wants to take it back to court, thats on him and you'll just explain your son didnt want to go

Nothing will come of it even if proceedings take place again. A child of that age cant be forced to go.

Soontobe60 · 01/02/2026 15:06

Pinkypig · 01/02/2026 15:04

Its supervised by myself (mom,)

Perhaps your DS is more impacted by seeing you and his father in the same place. Is there someone else who could supervise these visits?

soupyspoon · 01/02/2026 15:08

Pinkypig · 01/02/2026 15:04

Its supervised by myself (mom,)

Where is dad then while his son is playing? Is dad sat with you or on his own?

Runningismyhappyplace50 · 01/02/2026 15:08

Unfortunately, I think at nearly nine years old he will have to see his dad even if he doesn’t want to.

Is it court ordered that you have to supervise I thought it was usually not a parent- why is your ex ordered by court to be in your home regularly.

I think you will have to go back to court.

Pinkypig · 01/02/2026 15:09

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 01/02/2026 15:03

I dont understand the mindset...
Why insist his son come so he can be ignored every week?
Why not just drop contact?
What is going on in that mans head?
At 9 he has a clear opinion so Id look into going back to court.

Exactly my thought,he shown off in court to ring him 3x a week and on the weekend he doesn't see him He hasn't done that! The thing is my sons very aware of all this so that must go through his mind too.

OP posts:
Pinkypig · 01/02/2026 15:10

soupyspoon · 01/02/2026 15:08

Where is dad then while his son is playing? Is dad sat with you or on his own?

On his own or he brings a family member he just sits on his phone or chats to whomever he brings along

OP posts:
soupyspoon · 01/02/2026 15:11

The supervision is odd because if a parent needs to be supervised, its usually because they're dangerous in which case its not ideal to have another parent supervise this, as OP is.

You can buy supervision services which should be shared between both parnts in terms of cost.

If the parent is not dangerous then it doesnt need supervision.

Pinkypig · 01/02/2026 15:12

Runningismyhappyplace50 · 01/02/2026 15:08

Unfortunately, I think at nearly nine years old he will have to see his dad even if he doesn’t want to.

Is it court ordered that you have to supervise I thought it was usually not a parent- why is your ex ordered by court to be in your home regularly.

I think you will have to go back to court.

Well court put me as the main supervisor and its never in my home its at a play area

OP posts:
FirstdatesFred · 01/02/2026 15:12

What happens if you refuse to supervise? Surely they can't insist you do it.

Pinkypig · 01/02/2026 15:13

soupyspoon · 01/02/2026 15:11

The supervision is odd because if a parent needs to be supervised, its usually because they're dangerous in which case its not ideal to have another parent supervise this, as OP is.

You can buy supervision services which should be shared between both parnts in terms of cost.

If the parent is not dangerous then it doesnt need supervision.

The court ordered me as mum to supervise

OP posts:
soupyspoon · 01/02/2026 15:13

Pinkypig · 01/02/2026 15:10

On his own or he brings a family member he just sits on his phone or chats to whomever he brings along

I take it this is some sort of centre or older child soft play equivalent?

Can your son visit him at home, can he take him bowling, mini golf, football, swimming, museum, rock climbing, cycling, pottery class, rolling skating, baking?

Is it always in one place all the time? No wonder kids hate contact, theres no imagination behind it.

Pinkypig · 01/02/2026 15:14

FirstdatesFred · 01/02/2026 15:12

What happens if you refuse to supervise? Surely they can't insist you do it.

Myself supervising is not the problem its the issue my son doesn't want to go or see his dad

OP posts:
soupyspoon · 01/02/2026 15:15

Pinkypig · 01/02/2026 15:13

The court ordered me as mum to supervise

Its fairly unusual for court to specify a person, it normally just says supervision. If you agreed for it to be you, it will be in the order as part of an agreement but a court wont order a specific person as the courts direction. Court oders usually represent what was agreed by parties in court, its not always a court direction

Check the wording carefully.

Pinkypig · 01/02/2026 15:16

soupyspoon · 01/02/2026 15:13

I take it this is some sort of centre or older child soft play equivalent?

Can your son visit him at home, can he take him bowling, mini golf, football, swimming, museum, rock climbing, cycling, pottery class, rolling skating, baking?

Is it always in one place all the time? No wonder kids hate contact, theres no imagination behind it.

My son isn't allowed at his house or to be alone with him, I have to supervise he won't take him swimming its cold 🤦‍♀️

OP posts: