Father has Supervised access by court

[Pinkypig]

My childs father has supervised visits every fortnight But im having huge issues as my son doesn't want to see him.I understand 100% its a court order but I also have to think of my sons mental health, school life and home life which it affects.What should I do please as I do encourage my son to go but he won't

Can you get a CAHMS referral or play therapy for your son?

I know, I was agreeing 😂

I don’t find it unusual for a named person to be specified - I’ve found though it’s normally due to drugs (which would explain why they can’t go to their dad’s yet mum is willing to supervise) or DV

Why would I need yo talent someone with me,im fine its my son that doesn’t want to see him. He point blank refused alcohol and drug testing Hence the reason for supervised visits

Some men use access to a child as a means of weaponising the family courts to continue to abuse the mother.

I suggested another person so that the judge/court can see what is happening rather than just from you (it's often why people use contact centres) otherwise you either take it back to be varied or breach the order

I would be strategic here. I think pp are right and the court would take a dim view of you returning so quickly and the risk is that ds is just to young to have a say so you will undermine your case or risk being accused of parental alienation.

I would tell ds very kindly that unfortunately he is still to young to make a decision about something so grown up but that when he is 10.5/11 years old (in my experience the youngest age that court will accept opinion) he can decide what to do and you will do as he asks. Perhaps a hard deadline like that will help ds cope.

In the meantime, make regular contact with ex via email (as evidence) about wanting to move the venue of the meeting as DC is unhappy playing in the wet/cold and ensure to kindly suggest that ex talk to DC rather then sit on his phone etc etc. you need to be white as snow in your interactions.

Either ex bucks up his ideas and they develop an actual relationship OR at the appointed time, ds makes the choice to cut him off.

You can then say to ex..'as per the last year of emails, DC is not happy with contact and no longer wants to go. I understand if you want to take it back to mediation/ court but I will be supporting DC choice in this.'