just been to the darkest place in my time as a mother.

[deanychip]

it has been very bad.
told that i am rubbish, my son has no boundries, i allow him to run me, walk all over me and have no rules for him.

since bieng told this, he has been unmanagable and his behaviour has been off the scale.

i have been looking at jobs abroad, 1-2 year contracts with very good money. to get away.
dh and ds are better off without me, dh can do a much better job than me.
cant even bring myself to look at my son.

i am a let down, weak and pathetic.i cannot cope with him i cannot do this any longer.

Woah, hang on. Who told you that?!

was this your mad sister?

I'm sure you are none of the things you have said in your post, and I'm pretty sure that if you disappeared off and abandoned your DS, whatever his current behaviour, it would probably get a whole lot worse.

Who told you these things?

Says who?
Take a deep breath. Don't let anybody plant that seed in your mind.
You are probably both just in a vicious circle.

How old is he?
Why is DH allowing this/not helping?
Have you considered professional help?

How old is your DS, deany?

4

Wow! This is all a bit extreme? How old is your son? You are his mum - you can't just leave? By doing that it will destroy the rest of his life. If things are really that bad you need to re-charge and get some control back. Anything is possible - goodluck

So let me guess? Your DH is the one making the accusation?

men di it all the time.
could send money home

4?? I thought perhaps you had a wild teenager on your hands. We all have our bad days where we feel things are getting out of control, but once you get the control back things become a whole lot easier. With perhaps a bit of advice you can make things better - don't give up on a 4 year old.

no sister.

dh is very worried and lovely.

jzee - that's a bit extream destroying the rest of his life, the OP needs support and advice.

first thing's first who said this? do you as the mother feel these statements are true? could you possibly need a re charge? - DS always seems worse when i'm tired & exhausted.

What makes you think your DH can do a better job than you can?

tbh the answer isn't running away, the answer is working with your H to find solutions, to be honest you sound a little down, how do you feel within yourself?

does your sister have children? don't you find it's amazing how quickly our relatives find fault with our parenting methods.

your sister is nasty and doesn't like children in particularly your ds so ignore her she has an agenda.

Your ds is 4 it's probably that he is just hitting that testosterone surge where they get a bit wilder than "normal" for them. Also he could be ready for the challenge of school. He could be picking up on the fact you are upset by the falling out with your sister and playing up because of that.

I may sound a bit extreme, but I think it's a bit extreme to just walk out on a four year old. - good job or no good job.

You say you can't bring yourself to look at your son. You also say since you've been told what you have he's really been acting up. Is this because this is how you've been since this nasty nasty comment was said? Do you think he's acting up so much to get your attention?
No idea how old your son is, but maybe the two of you need to spend some time together. If he's old enough to understand I'd tell him a little of why you've been acting the way you have too.
Then put that comment to one side and start thinking about what you can start doing to build up your self-confidence and self-esteem.
Every child needs their mum. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

yes granted, that cuts both ways, and I did cross posts with your one saying about the help and support

he is at school, getting in trouble regularly. not 5 till next month.

its always been "something" with him. he has been a very dificult kid since birth.
has never slept, colic, distructive. not ever emotionally connected. not interested in kisses, cuddles or bieng near me or dh.
strange.
i have struggled every single day with him.

oh and also OP - I think the fact you've taken it to heart so much, and have posted here goes to show you ARE a good mum,

Have you pursued getting a diagnosis/getting stuff ruled out? Or do you not want to/not think there is a need to.

You have a duty to your child that should transcend any foolish and moronic comments that anyone else makes.

Why are you feeling so bad about yourself? Do you have any idea?

This is obviously a catalyst for many other things going on atm.

We ALL have really dark times as mums, we always feel guilt and we always feel lacking.

Whatever you are feeling about your failings as a mother your son needs you there with him however much of a failure you are ( which you're not) . He could never be better off without you, remember that.

I totoally feel for you.

i know this sounds silly but have you thought he might be on the autism spectrum?

We all feel like that sometimes. It's the end of the week. Treat yourself to a bottle of champagne, nice bath and unwind. It will seem better in the morning

Oh - your sis sounds like bad news. I had a friend ask me a very pertinent question recently, when I was venting. "Quattro, just ask yourself what this person is adding to your life or the life of your family?" It's a good question to ask.

Also thought was a teenager....

Ahhhhhhh well meaning sisters!

1)Tell or get DH to tell her in no uncertain terms that family is for support otherwise keep her mouth shut.

2)de-dramatise by handing over reigns to Dh for a little while. You need perspective to realise he's no more challenging than many 4 year olds (including mine )
DH must step in everytime DS is disrespectful towards you and reiterate/enforce all of mummy's rules

3)Enroll him in a very physical activity with a male authoritative figure/role model (ie: karate/rugby/footie)
This is something to do with dad to allow them to have some male bonding time.

Have the school offered any advice?