just been to the darkest place in my time as a mother.

[deanychip]

it has been very bad.
told that i am rubbish, my son has no boundries, i allow him to run me, walk all over me and have no rules for him.

since bieng told this, he has been unmanagable and his behaviour has been off the scale.

i have been looking at jobs abroad, 1-2 year contracts with very good money. to get away.
dh and ds are better off without me, dh can do a much better job than me.
cant even bring myself to look at my son.

i am a let down, weak and pathetic.i cannot cope with him i cannot do this any longer.

Well, IMO a 4 year old belongs with his mum. Going away is almost always the worse thing to do...If he has not rules yet he must learn them, so you must be around to teach him!! And do you seriously believe your son will ever forgive you for leaving him? What about your streght? Dont let you down like that, you know better than what you are told. Must believe in yourself!!

had a lovely day today.
He has been like a different child, so good, co operative and fun.

If only she could have seen us today.

Dh says that some days its one thing on top of another, that is what makes it seem insumountable.
True.

Just want to say a big thankyou to you all for your logic, kindness but mostly for understanding.
deany x

ps passport is back in the drawer till we fly off on our "family" holiday

I have a good friend who enlisted the help of a child psychologist, (£80 a session) and worth every penny. Her ds was pretty normal but they needed to hear that from someone who was objective, they were given a couple of tips for particular behaviours..... six weeks on and things are really changed. The little boy is probably not that different but the parents are like a huge weight has been lifted and everything is just easier. I would recommend this to anyone!