Can’t stop crying over my children growing up! Is there something wrong with me!

[Dawn1991]

Morning everyone for the past few week I literally can’t stop crying my eldest is turning 10 this year and my other baby is going to be 5 and it’s absolutely breaking my heart I go to bed crying I wake up crying I’m even crying at work! I love them so much and I feel like there’s still so much I want to do and not all the time in the world before they get to the age where they don’t want to do things anymore and then my eldest is going to be a teenager! I honestly don’t know if it’s normal to feel this way any mums feel like this or is it just me I feel stupid.

What so she can mask her feelings?! Ridiculous comment

I absolutely wouldn't have wanted you cuddling any of my poorly babies so can go play pretend and make yourself feel better.

That is, quite frankly, a psychotic, and potentially dangerous suggestion and you wouldn't pass the first interview, let alone all the training and courses.

Who uses poorly babies and vulnerable families to fulfil their own desires like that.

The alternative to them growing up is pretty bleak...that would be much worse if they never got to grow up.

Look at photos remember with joy the growing up years and look forward to enjoying them as grown ups.

This is terrifying

I've had phases of this too, OP, ranging from an 'aw, time flies' moment to tears and feeling very down for several days. The times when it's been pronounced and ongoing, I've always had other issues going on in my life, do you think it could be wrapped up on something else?

It could also be a touch of SAD. Do you suffer with post-Christmas blues? I've found that to be a trigger for me before - going from having two weeks together with all the excitement and wonderful distractions of Christmas to going back to routine and reality.

I'm generally quite a sentimental person at the best of times!

It sounds excessive, you’re grieving for bc something that hasn’t even happened yet!

You have young kids, enjoy them 🤷‍♀️

Right…because volunteering should be a horrific ordeal martyrs put themselves through…with no feelings of fulfilment in return? 🙄

What’s terrifying?! That someone is sad? It’s terrifying that you are scared of emotions. I hate how everyone is posting that emotions are a disorder and the OP needs to see a GP or get medicated. Sadness is okay to feel!

Terrifying… the thought of you being hired to cuddle babies in a hospital

Thankfully, won’t ever happen.

It’s not normal at all, perhaps find someone who you can talk to. Our biggest success as parents is to prepare our young people for a life away from us, you will really struggle unless you can get your feelings under control

I feel you may need some help, I don't think it's normal. Your kids will grow up, and fly the nest. If you're lucky! That's what you should be aiming for, that they do this happily and successfully. So you need to work on yourself, to make sure you have your own separate life and interests.

Omg this is me, I nearly wrote a post a few weeks ago asking if I was normal lol I dont have it all the time but it does happen to me alot, I literally sob. For me alot of it is direct towards my eldest, his father has let him down so much over the years and i feel grief for him.

I guess it's not normal but I dont feel depressed either.

See how you go and be kind to yourself

I think that people who "feel things more deeply" are actually very self indulgent and over estimate their own importance.

I’ve not had this, I’ve never got it, never wished to turn back the clock, I’ve always rejoiced in their new year, new experiences, new wonder. But I do think now they are closer to leaving the nest than ever before (12 and 14) it’s making me realise how precious our time/connection and childhood experiences are. I know when they are 16 and 18 my heart will break a tiny bit.

Probably self describe as “I’m too nice”

My mum said that the happiest times was when the kids were young. I'll not judge her. She's been a good mum. I'm 62 now

You think wheedling your way into a position of cuddling poorly babies to try and stop yourself crying about your dc growing up is normal?

It's scary that you think it is. Scarier still that you're recommending this to someone who has admitted that her mental health is suffering and is now seeking help.

I’m going to be honest here but I have never said this out loud before.

A family member has had child after child because she cannot cope with the baby stage being over.

Her inability to see her children as actual people and not just extensions of her, there just to meet her need to be needed as a mother of babies is frankly unhealthy. She also massively struggles with them getting older and cries a lot over it.

Clearly you are not quite as far along the same path but you are on a similar journey if you don’t address this. There is something much, much deeper going on here.

You do know that they advertise for volunteers to do EXACTLY this?! It’s proven to reduce stress in neonates and promote healing! Rather than being stuck in an incubator 24/7 with minimal human or skin contact?!

Geez

You do know that they advertise for volunteers to do EXACTLY this?! It’s proven to reduce stress in neonates and promote healing! Rather than being stuck in an incubator 24/7 with minimal human or skin contact?!

No, absolutely definitely not normal to be crying all day like this. Please ask for help.

Volunteers that go through a rigorous interview process and training and courses to prevent people like you being able to do it.

Can't you see how offensive it is that you want to prey on vulnerable babies and families for your own twisted reasons, not only that but recommend it to other people who are struggling with their mental health as well.

I’m currently hanging out with my eldest (she’ll be 18 next month) and youngest (14) and it’s lovely. I get occasional waves of emotion, especially about dd1 becoming an adult, but I’m so proud of the young lady she’s become. I think I mostly feel emotional that my life will change dramatically in the next 5 years as all dc will be adults. We’re planning to travel a lot (dh and I) and I want to get goats 🐐 😆

No, it should be something done by responsible adults of sound mind who aren't using other people's sick babies to stave off a person crisis. Volunteering isn't a jolly nor is it free therapy.

When I worked in a care centre for vulnerable adults, we turned away a huge proportion of volunteer applicants. A common reason was that they were clearly there to satisfy some inward-facing desire - a patronising saviour complex or wanting to project their own unmet needs onto others. Either way, it wasn't appropriate to have them around our service users. Even if one slipped through the net, they never stayed for long enough to be useful, as they quit when the fantasy immediately wore thin.