Pulling pants down on sibling advice please

[LoftyDenimDeer]

Hey 👋 I wondered if anyone could offer advice or if they’ve experienced behaviour like this please?

My 6 year old (Year 1) is awaiting ADHD assessment. I also have a 2 year old and 11 year old.

A few times in the recent past my 6 year old has pulled down and removed my 2 years olds joggers/leggings (doesn’t remove nappy) when i’ve not been in the room. Then comes and tells me. I’ve told him that it’s not acceptable behaviour and he’s not to remove his brothers clothes. But he’s done it a couple more times this week and lied that it wasn’t him but after much pressing he admits it was him and he either says he doesn’t know why he did it or says something like “it’s because baby brother threw XYZ at me”.

I don’t know what to do. I’ve told him very sternly about boundaries. I didn’t know if this may be an ADHD thing? But my mind is also going to the worst outcome too. My mind is spiralling very quickly. I just don’t tbh j this is normal behaviour?

Any advice welcome.

Thanks x

I have ADHD and as a child one of my intrusive thoughts told me to call 999. I absolutely knew it was wrong but I couldn't not do it, so I would dial and hang up super quick... I have zero clue why I had to do it. The only thing that stopped me was sometimes it connected and my mum was told if I kept doing it they would fine her. Somehow knowing she would get fined stopped the impulse.
He may truly not know why he's doing it. A threat of real trouble might stop him.

You seem to be spiralling

your 6 year old is unlikely to be a sexual pervert so calm down a bit

it’s more likely sibling rivalry and he’s doing it to irritate his sibling rather than anything more sinister

I would treat the problem by giving him lots of positive attention and more one on one reassurance and monitor them together

Ridiculous over reaction to cancel anything over this !!

get a grip , he’s acting up and going through a faze and is only 6 if he did this at 16 I’d say there was more of a problem

i am a teacher and this would be a very low level concerning behaviour in its own , just deal with it calm my and carry on it will stop

Hi OP, I work in children’s safeguarding and I am trained to used the Brook Traffic Light tool. You do have to be trained to use it but it’s worth having a quick look at it on the internet. Your son’s behaviour would very much be described as ‘green’ and normal behaviour for a child of this age. Please don’t worry yourself about it and please go and enjoy your weekend away! Xx

I'm inclined to think this is just a little boy being a bit silly, I think some of the posts are massively over reacting. See what feedback you get from his teacher, because he is going for an assessment you may be extra vigilant. Sending you all the good wishes x

I also think this is innocent silliness. He is not old enough to understand the implications of trouser removal to adults. He likely just thinks ‘this gets me attention and annoys my brother’ and gets a dopamine hit from the attention. IMO the best thing to do is not to leave 2 yo alone with 6 yo for a bit and ignore. The more you draw attention to it, the more the child is going to keep doing the annoying thing (my 3yo’s recent ‘thing’ was asking loudly in public places if anyone wants ‘a disgusting poo from my bum’. Completely ignoring it for a week or so worked to stop the behaviour).

I hate to minimise this but my lord that's an overreaction.

Rightly or wrongly, at all boys schools this behaviour probably happens 25 times a day every day of the week. The boys know it's not okay but it's harmless in their eyes. So long as they don't take it into adulthood in certain circles this is the norm and it sounds like you'd freeze if you knew how standard this was.

You need to not leave them alone and get to the bottom of why the 6 year old is doing it, ADHD doesn’t equal bad behaviour.