It’s getting harder not easier!

[RareOpalSnake]

I have a 3 year old and 7 week old… we’ve all come down with HFM and it is killing me.

The 7 week old won’t sleep anywhere other than on us (this was the case before getting ill) and our 3 year old is acting up so much and constantly wakes him up. The adjustment was hard anyway but with the illness thrown in I’m just at my wits end 😭 toddler waking 4/5 times a night and the newborn is waking to nurse every 1-2 hours and is so unsettled.

No real point to this other than to grumble! When does it get easier?!

It was always going to be a tough time! Can your partner co-sleep with the toddler to keep them asleep / deal with them? And you co-sleep with the baby? Nursing 1-2 hourly at that age is pretty normal.

Thank you for the reply! Sorry I should’ve said - husband is bedsharing with the toddler but it’s breaking my heart when I can hear him crying for me but I’m either stuck with the newborn asleep on me or nursing 😭 I had no idea HFM could hurt so much!

Oh bless you - really tough but just keep surviving for the next few days, keep toddler dosed up with pain relief, soothing foods like yogurt/ watermelon in case it's inside his mouth. Cuddles with mummy in the day etc.

Are you set up for safe bedsharing/ chest sleeping with baby so you're getting what sleep you can? Perhaps after the bedtime feed you get into bed with toddler to get some decent sleep whilst your husband has the baby for a couple of hours - then he goes in with toddler and you take baby? Swap again at 5am or so? Bed sharing is great with a baby but sleep is never quite the same is it!

Last Jan I had a just turned 3 year old come down with chickenpox when my baby was 3 weeks old. A brutal week but you get through it❤️

@RareOpalSnake I promise it gets better.
Our toddler was 21 months when 2DC was born and it was really really tough - mainly the shift in relationship between myself and DC1 as the new baby was very colicky and definitely made sure I had no time for the toddler. We also bedshare and cosleep with all children and I too could hear him asking for mummy - whenever I could I would go in and reassure and cuddle him and explain why I couldn’t always be there.

Try to remember your 3 year old isn’t acting out - their entire world has just been completely torn apart with the two people the love the most now loving someone else - they don’t know how to deal with what they are feeling. I am sure you are just keep showing up for them and make sure they feel included and special and that the baby isn’t taking their place. We’re now 6 months in and it’s a whole different story, just remember it’s all a phase. Especially the illnesses, that’s so brutal but it’ll be over by next week hopefully. Sending solidarity

HFM is still the worst thing I've ever gone through. My son cried and screamed uncontrollably in pain and discomfort, slept a total of 8 hours over 48 hours (he was 10 months(!)), refused all food for about 5 days (was still having breastmilk and water)

I caught it from him and I felt 100 times worse when I realised just how much pain he had been in. I couldn't walk for 2 days, the sores on my feet burned, hurt and itched at the same time. My hands and mouth were covered in sores too. I spiked a 40 C fever and couldn't get up, DH took time off work as I physically couldn't run after DS (DS was feeling better at the point my symptoms started). A few weeks later I lost my toenails too....

The most horrible illness I've ever had. 4 kids in DS' playgroup ended up in hospital with it btw so it must have been a particularly bad strain.