DS always goes to sleep when told off

[CrackersCrackers]

Every time I tell my son off he goes to sleep, he is 11 do other kids do this? I feel like it’s used as some kind of guilt trip, he is 11 for reference.

My DD used to do this - we called it “spite sleep” 😂 I suppose it’s a way of regulating their emotions and getting out of the situation which is upsetting them.

Is it actually tiredness causing his behaviour? I sometimes sleep when I've had a bad time, it's how I regulate but I'm autistic.

No definitely not he does it all the time

I can't picture how this works! He runs away and shuts himself in his room to do it? Or collapses on the spot?!

Spite sleep 😂 I guess it's a good way to get away from the situation

Literally falls asleep where he is (is he faking it?) or takes himself off to bed?
As a pp suggested maybe the behaviour is tiredness or the response is some kind of overwhelm?

I fall asleep in scary situations. It’s the most useless nervous system activation ever. Everyone else gets flight or fight, and I get snore. 🙄

Maybe it’s something similar? Are you scary when you give out?

I suppose it’s freeze.

It’s not scary I don’t shout. He does both either leaves and goes to sleep or sleeps on sofa etc try to wake him get ignored

Ds does this he is autistic

He only has issues if he actually tries to go to sleep at night but as a young child tell him off and snore

Everything is better when you wake up… when I’m really upset I often go to sleep for a bit.

This???

DS has done this his entire life. He has adhd and I suspect autism. I’ve always felt it’s an emotional regulation thing, but as someone above said potentially a freeze response.

This happens to me a lot - was a real issue for me for 6-7 years in my 30s. It's a thing, although I can't remember what it's called. Not when I'm told off (although it's been a long time...) but in heated arguments or emotionally fraught discussions I am fine for a bit but at some point I'll get hit with an insane need to sleep. Literally, mid sentence sometimes. I could be in full self-righteous flow over something and all of a sudden I'll need to say 'i can't do this right now, I have to go to bed'. It's very difficult to fight against.

Very weird - and frustrating if the conversation is important!

This is assuming your DS isn't faking it, in which case this isn't relevant.

I used to do it, it wasn't a conscious decision. I felt really stressed when I was told off, I always felt better after a nap.

I can absolutely understand this. I'm exhausted by emotional situations and always feel like I need to lie down afterwards.

If I'm stressed at work, I find refuge in sleep and often sleep in my car at lunchtime. I sleep very very quickly too.

Are you sure he’s not overwhelmed and self regulating? It’s quite a normal neurodivergent reaction.

i took his phone of him for 15 minutes not sure what’s overwhelming about that and I’ve given him plenty of warnings that that’s what I will do if he continues to misbehave

Probably a massively crash in dopamine levels making him sleepy.

One of mine does this fairly regularly - if he gets upset enough to cry - he’s probably going to have a little sleep after . Now 15 .

I sometimes go to sleep in situations where I have a lot of sensory overwhelm (nightclubs, action films etc) so I can see how this might be a similar response to a situation that feels overwhelming.

I do this at times of extreme stress - huge yawns and then immediately fall into a deep sleep.

Narcolepsy??

It’s a common response to being emotionally overwhelmed especially among autistic people when they are being told off or punished for something they can’t control. It’s better than having a meltdown over the injustice and hopelessness of it all because that usually leads to more punishments from a neurotypical disciplinarian who doesn’t care to understand autism and refuses to adjust their parenting style.

he can control swearing at people