DS always goes to sleep when told off

[CrackersCrackers]

Every time I tell my son off he goes to sleep, he is 11 do other kids do this? I feel like it’s used as some kind of guilt trip, he is 11 for reference.

Unless he has Tourettes. 🤷🏿‍♀️

So he sleeps? If you feel guilty that is on you

My step son does this. Similar age to your son. No neurodivergence.

We ask him to read/tidy/come for a walk now after there has been any sort of telling off.

I do think it’s some kind of tactic to avoid dealing with negative feelings. We’ll sit with him while reading ourselves, or tidy/walk with him which generally opens up conversation about why he’s been told off. It does seem to have helped.

He does not though, can’t just make things up now. There was a thread on aibu where a boy called his mum a fing bitch, not one person suggested maybe the boy had Tourette’s he doesn’t.

Thanks that helps

My friend (36) does this when there is a stressful situation. She was on holiday once in the US and heard a gun shot and slept for 16hrs. She says it’s a flight or fight reaction

There’s no fight, his phone was taken off him for 15 minutes

you ask what's overwhelming about losing phone privileges for 15 minutes but you've taken his phone off him for a reason - swearing - which I assume wasn't spontaneous in the middle of a happy moment.
so what led to the swearing? how many times was he told off before losing his phone? how many timesdi it take for him to give you his phone etc. it's all of THAT which might be overwhelming, rather than just the punishment.

if the sleep means he effectively sleep through the punishment, then just do it when he wakes. so you take the phone away, he lies down and goes to sleep. the 15 minutes starts once he's awake. if he keeps going /faking sleep you just keep stopping the timer until he's had 15 minutes awake

DS1 used to do this, I think it was probably because when he was misbehaving it was highly linked to tiredness for him and his entire sleep schedule has always been horrendous. He is now diagnosed with ADHD but we have to be really hot on his sleep even though he's 17. He can't afford any whiff of bad sleep hygeine or he'll be up all night and then sleeps like the dead in the morning. I'm just dealing with a load of emails from school about missed morning lessons, all because his light that is programmed to come on at a certain time each morning disappeared from the home network when I did something back in August and it has only just occurred to him to tell us 🙄

But TBH before I was diagnosed with ADHD I was utterly terrible for wasting time on things like computer games or social media instead of doing things I knew I should be doing or wanted to spend time on instead. People would suggest that I should just get rid of the computer and the thing is it wouldn't work. If I had no computer, I just used to watch daytime TV. If there was no TV I would play the stupid phone games they had 15 years ago and text people, if I had no phone, I'd read books/magazines or doodle. If I had literally nothing to do at all, I would go to sleep. It's like my brain is tuned like a heat-seeking missile into whatever distracting stimulus is nearest. Of course smartphones are a nightmare for this, I never should have got one.

I am not saying falling asleep is a sign of ADHD, but I wonder for DS1 whether it was a boredom thing as well as the fact if he had been told off it was probably because he was tired in the first place.

Ive warned him repeatedly and given him many chances that if he doesn’t stop swearing I am going to start removing his phone, he has continued to swear at people (if he dies in a game) and I stated we will start off very small so only 15 mins but he sleeps for an hour because of 15 minutes

My ds (also 11) has done the same this evening. He has had his phone removed and sent to his room. He is now fast asleep (still in his clothes with his light on!) and if I let him would be there till the morning. I used to sleep after a telling off too.

Wait, he isn’t swearing at people. He is acting in character in a game. It’s totally acceptable to swear when you die in a game.

What a silly rule you have.

No you’ve misunderstood, he is swearing at people because he lost in his game so he is angry but blaming people

No I got it alright. Gamers swear when they die/are killed at whoever killed them.
It’s not angry, offensive swearing in real life, it is all part of the play pretend.

I’d stop him gaming.

I used to do this too. It’s an ASD thing.

The only time I ever had to tell DS2 off was when he was playing his XBox or PS. He would be very rude if you told him dinner was ready or needed to ask a question mid game.

He didn’t go to sleep though.

Myself & DS1 both do.

You are deliberately choosing the ignore what I’m saying so I won’t engage with you anymore but for anyone else he is swearing AT his siblings when he dies in a game because he is angry, I’ve asked him not to do this and he won’t listen

That’s very tempting tbh

What we have is a disagreement. That isn’t the same as ignoring.
You asked for opinions, and my opinion is that your rule of no swearing when you die in a game is silly.
You disagree.
You don’t have to discuss further with me, but it’s also silly to pretend that I’ve ignored or misunderstood you. I just disagree that it is a punishable offence.

My wife does this, if we argue she gets really sleepy! She has ADHD. I don't know if it's related.

I know someone who sleeps when they get stressed. They just get into bed and fall asleep

nonsense. no 11 year old needs to be swearing because they're playing a video game. if he can't die without swearing, he wouldn't be playing it.

Thanks, I’m shocked by that comment maybe they don’t realise he is 11 like I’m suppose to ignore him swearing

I've always done this. It's a little shutdown after extreme emotions to self-regulate. I have an autism diagnosis.