Obsessed with autism, please help!

[Rach7291]

I’m going to try and explain this as best as I can. I’m really not wanting to offend anyone!

I am obsessed with the thought of my child having autism. Not because i want her to, quite the opposite. Something about it seems to scare me. I have been like this since i found out I was pregnant and she’s now 17 months. I google something everyday, even the smallest little things that she does. I am now pregnant again and the thoughts of my next baby having autism are draining me. I’ve even thought about an abortion. I don’t know whats wrong with me or why I’m so obsessed with it. I’m so sick of feeling like this but I can’t seem to stop it.

CBT only works if you keep using what you’ve learnt. For me I couldn’t do that without medication.

I think these intrusive thoughts might be a form of OCD, OP?

One of my kids is undiagnosed high-functioning ASD and ADHD. She was very hard work for me in the teenage years and early twenties - including a mild eating disorder for about a year - but is really doing so well now. In great health, absolutely stellar career, happy marriage to a wonderful man, lovely friends, financially responsible and diligent.

Kids come ‘in all shapes and sizes’ and whoever you are given you will parent them with love and according to their needs.

Wish you peace x

I try to think what is more likely my child celebrating his 80th birthday or pre deceasing me ?

But yeah on a daily basis I worry about car accidents, cars hitting him, cancer, suicide. Its exhausting