6 year old still needs so much parenting, normal?

[OhhDELICIOUS]

DS1 is 6 very soon and in year 1. School think he is a ‘character’ but have no issues with behaviour and academically he’s flying.

He just requires so much parenting still. Constant low level messing around, constant stream of noise, constant requests for attention.

Prime example was tonight. Came up for his bath. Went for a wee, didn’t lift the seat up (never does) and got wee everywhere. Therefore told to clean it up. Made an absolute song and dance of it and used up a significant amount of toilet roll and at one stage tried to put his whole head in the toilet water. Then joined his brother in the bath. After <5 minutes was just being a general pest throwing water around and trying to turn the taps on. Asked to stop once, didn’t, so he was removed from the bath. He didn’t like this and screamed and cried. But it doesn’t matter, next time they have a bath he’ll do the same again. Consequences just never equate to long term change. Then going down the stairs, he decided to lie down and try and propel himself face first. When DH realised and shouted for him to stop (in fear) he thought it was hilarious. Genuinely couldn’t seem to see the danger. Got downstairs and he immediately shoved his brother over, so he’s had another telling off and Lego put away. We are all miserable needless to say.

I thought by age 6 we might have found more of a balance of enjoying each other’s company, but he still requires just as much, if not more parenting as my 2.5 year old.

I was wondering if this might be ADHD, but from my understanding it isn’t just in the home? Does anyone have any advice? Thanks

Sounds like a normal 6 yr old boy to me .
bags of energy, Inquisitive and curious who didn’t as a child ?

Normal here too, DS is 8 now and still has non stop energy. He is slightly more mature with it though (slightly)
DD is nearly 6 and will happily sit and read, colour in, play quietly etc. They're like chalk and cheese.

I work in year 1, I don't think it's at all unusual for children to behave differently at home vs school (I remember a parent once asking me if I had the right file out at parents evening when I worked in early years!).

This year we have 3 or 4 boys that you could easily be describing (only that's their school behaviour), I'm sure more must be like your son and holding it in all day so parents are the ones that get all the fizziness!
We also have a couple that stamp their feet and cry if they aren't "first" to get/do something, which I wouldn't have expected to still happen until I actually got to know lots of six year olds!

He sounds like my son who is now 31, no sense of danger (Son still though he was invincible until about 5 years ago). Everything is full throttle, bang, crash, wallop, no thinking involved. Get him outside and active as much as possible. Whatever you do, do not buy him a proper toolset and teach him to use it because he needs to learn how to use it safely and have an intrerest,rather than toys. I still have holes in my garden fence and the utility room wall from his drill. His son, my grandson is exactly the same. Trying at the time, but wouldnt change either of them (btw son is still a bit bonkers!)

Mine were like this, they seem to have grown out of it at about age 13...

My kids after-school club is free flow to the playground, they have lots of outdoor games/equipment and most kids are out there unless it's pouring with rain.

@Ecrire Eh? I don't know if you're trying to imply my words mean something they don't. Abnormal is a pretty bog standard word meaning not the norm, not typical...

Edited to add:
Oh and I see later on in the thread you tell another poster I called the child abnormal rather than the behaviour. Basic comprehension can show the "it's " in my reply refers to his behaviour being abnormal and not him.

Please read my post properly before replying with a silly comment.

Mother of 5 yo twins here, 6 in December so similar age. I can tell you nothing you've said has shocked me 🤣
You mentioned being miserable and not enjoying his company tho, and whilst they drive me to absolute distraction, they have moments when they're utterly lovely, when they make me love notes and get insane giggles.
As for still needing alot of parenting, I'm afraid that never really ends, it just changes

☺️😁 nothing you say seems out of the norm. Mine is now nearly 19. I asked the boys in the house to please treat themselves to sit down wees at home - stand ups are for urinals. Worked a treat, the rest just sounds like normal boys stuff. They don’t ever really grow up quickly- I had an epic roll around MMA fight tonight with mine on his bed (I won BTW) it was brilliant but I will ache tomorrow!

Run them like dogs! Lots of physical exercises so tired by bedtime. He sounds like he still has that wonderful energy to burn.

Oh, to be fair I do try and be really playful and role with it. I adore the bones of him and love his energy and his enthusiasm. Just tonight he was particularly full on, on the back of a busy week, where all of us, bar him, are shattered. Sometimes I wish he’d just play quietly and independently…and not need me to be a constant play mate/gymnastics crash mat/audience to his constant stream of thoughts etc 😂 but as others have said I know I will miss this when he’s a sullen teenager

If it helps, my two are still cuddled to sleep. They'd definitely be up and down and chatting all night otherwise

What do you do when tired makes them hyper and cranky in equal measure? Asking for a friend....

My middle child is also nuts. Lovely, fun but like a whirlwind of activity. He’s chilled out a lot by 10 now. Hang on in there. Making sure that energiser bunnies like this get proper physical activity everyday is so important.

Mine is 6 nearly 7 and your post sounds just like my son. I’m actually relieved to read this because I also had so many doubts about my parenting and questioned whether he has ADHD.

@Hdpr Isn’t that the Mrs Large (the elephant) book where all dc visit the bathroom? 5 Minutes Peace? It’s hardly new that dc are like this. Not sure when they learn mum wants 5 minutes peace but I’d not come out of the bathroom until he was in bed!

He’s 6.

I taught this age range for years and it sounds pretty normal to me. He sounds like an active, playful little boy. Instead of reprimanding him I'd encourage him to self regulate or 'stop and think' Schools are quite repressive places so he should feel less inhibited at home. Do you think you might be expecting too much of him?

I mean maybe? As I said, I had no idea what a 6 year old was like. I just assumed by this age they wouldn’t try and wash their hair in the toilet, use a litre jug (which 2.5 yo can play with in the bath without issue) to flood the bathroom, try and use the stars like a luge and push their toddler brother over at any opportunity. I didn’t realise these things were high expectations, but I’m happy to be told I am wrong.

I have a same aged son, he is diagnosed ASD and getting referred for ADHD. But I’ve seen him and his neurotypical friends at parties and they are all running around causing chaos. My son’s teacher (a SEN specialist) said physical hyperactivity peaks in boys between 6-8, so very normal to be seeing this kind of thing. I think the jump to year 1 is terrible for children as they spend much more of the day sitting. My son behaves like he’s been in a cage all day when he gets home, and 99% of the time his behaviour descends into silliness and whipping his 2 younger brothers up into a frenzy too. Maybe have a look at sensory circuits, they are used for ND children but might benefit your son to help him get some energy out after school.

He sounds very much like my 6 year old, or perhaps my 6 year old is worse. He’s also a bit low level badly behaved at home and school. (We’re not happy about this and working on it.) ADHD has crossed my mind, but essentially I think he’s a normal, lively, bright and challenging little boy.

Ok so mine is nearly 21 - it does sound a bit like neurodiversity to me and yes they can mask and if they are intelligent and social they can mask very very well (son was diagnosed this summer at 20 ) and it's exhausting

I would look at different parenting styles especially for children with aDHD / asd - consequences don't work especially for impulsive behaviour- and focus on teaching them how to chill and unwind - alongside physical activity so maybe playing chess, cards, mine loved taking old electrical items apart to figure out how they worked, Lego etc - so that they can learn how to focus and be calm.

i would start to keep a diary / video diary of behaviours so that you have the evidence you need- as well as doing lots of reading and research and figuring out how to help your son unwind.

He sounds utterly gorgeous but must also be exhausted and if he has ADHD/asd will start to notice that some things are much harder for him than his peers and that can knock his confidence and also be exhausting thus making him even more hyper at home - he's likely to be very sensitive and doesn't have great self regulation- I don't think parenting for a child who may / may not have ADhd. Is a bad thing as it gives you a lot more skills in your tool kit and if they are help to manage the very tricky teenage years.

id also look at physical activity- trail bike riding is good for mentally figuring out lines / angles to take as well as learning how bikes work - your son has a fab curious mind, he just needs a hand unwinding x

Exercise, exercise and more exercise. It’s not normal for kids this age to not be doing hours of running around with their peers every day.

I feel like you’re writing about my son here, except he’s only just 5.
Intense is definitely the most appropriate word for my DS. He talks constantly from the minute he wakes until he sleeps, talking over conversations. Bedtime & mealtimes are painful as he just won’t sit still & needs constant stimulation. We, however, are having some issues with school & his “listening”, which I have major problems with at home too. I feel he has ADHD, he has a hyperfixation with the TV, which we do try to limit but if he’s being naughty & we remove it from him altogether it’s a mighty kick off!

Sorry OP, I have no advice but jumping on to see if others have any I can piggy back from🤣

We started the day at 5:45am despite my son only falling asleep at 20:30 and waking once in the night. It’s just straight into noise and needing stimulation. I caved this morning and cracked out some Lego our neighbour passed on to us and I had been storing and he’s now deep in that, so I could at least have a cup of tea and empty the dishwasher and DH and DC2 could have more sleep without being woken by crashes/singing etc. I love him so much but it’s so hard to be light, jolly, playful mummy when I’m so exhausted. Getting ready to go to a big natural play area in a bit so hopefully that’ll help things. Solidarity ☕️☕️☕️