6 year old still needs so much parenting, normal?

[OhhDELICIOUS]

DS1 is 6 very soon and in year 1. School think he is a ‘character’ but have no issues with behaviour and academically he’s flying.

He just requires so much parenting still. Constant low level messing around, constant stream of noise, constant requests for attention.

Prime example was tonight. Came up for his bath. Went for a wee, didn’t lift the seat up (never does) and got wee everywhere. Therefore told to clean it up. Made an absolute song and dance of it and used up a significant amount of toilet roll and at one stage tried to put his whole head in the toilet water. Then joined his brother in the bath. After <5 minutes was just being a general pest throwing water around and trying to turn the taps on. Asked to stop once, didn’t, so he was removed from the bath. He didn’t like this and screamed and cried. But it doesn’t matter, next time they have a bath he’ll do the same again. Consequences just never equate to long term change. Then going down the stairs, he decided to lie down and try and propel himself face first. When DH realised and shouted for him to stop (in fear) he thought it was hilarious. Genuinely couldn’t seem to see the danger. Got downstairs and he immediately shoved his brother over, so he’s had another telling off and Lego put away. We are all miserable needless to say.

I thought by age 6 we might have found more of a balance of enjoying each other’s company, but he still requires just as much, if not more parenting as my 2.5 year old.

I was wondering if this might be ADHD, but from my understanding it isn’t just in the home? Does anyone have any advice? Thanks

My 17 year old still takes a lot of parenting!

My DS doesn't know how to mask (he has ADHD) though I don't necessarily think that behaving well = masking or "masking" is a bad thing. It can be strategies for getting along with people, and we all behave differently in different settings.
However school is often much more structured than home, necessarily because they've got 30 of the little blighters! So children with ADHD can find it easier.
And I second what @bathroomadviceneeded says about exercise and screens!

My thought was that 6 years old is a very small boy. Yes he seems bigger compared to your two year old, but he is still a very little boy and he needs a lot still.

My nearly 6 yo (a girl) is very much like this. I don’t get to sit down for long. I think I may be a more laidback parent though as I’d probably let her get on with it if she was trying to go down the stairs like that or throwing water about. My eldest is autistic and so I have to prioritise what I get worried about to try to save my energy.

He sounds like a typical 6 year old boy. I have 2 boys and sounds normal to me

He just requires so much parenting still. Constant low level messing around, constant stream of noise, constant requests for attention.

@OhhDELICIOUS did you just pick up my kid and I didn't notice.

This is totally normal. Their brains are still very very much developing. They are probably also realising they will be "on their own" when they grow up and are maxing attention. Enjoy it. Soon they will be quiet, moody and will prefer their friends or devices to us and we will ache for these times

I'm getting my 6yo assessed for ADHD at the moment. He's not really impulsive/hyperactive at school like he is at home, but they definitely see attention difficulties and he avoids things he finds hard. What's your DS's attention like (for things he's not interested in)?

my ds with adhd would have done all of those things

We don’t have any screens bar TV which is pretty heavily controlled, so I don’t think that’s an issue.

BUT I definitely think it’s got worse since year 1. Reception was basically entirely out doors at his school and I do wonder if the reduction in physical energy is playing a part. He does swimming once a week and gym once a week. He’s at a childminder 2 times a week and I actually wonder if he’d be better at after school club.

My son is nearly 6, and i could have written that word for word. I think its pretty typical behaviour at that age for boys. My daughter is nearly 4 and doesn't need nearly as much input from me as he does!

Sounds similar to my five year old (also year one). If anything I’ve found parenting harder as he’s got older.

Don't think it's anything to worry about.
Boy's often have a real energy to them!! Just have to try and channel it.
Please read there's still no such thing as naughty by kate Silverstone - it's a game changer in understanding children's behaviour.

I’m sure my daughter (now 18 and sporty) was not nearly as hyper as a young lad, but she most definitely needed a lot of exercise time to “burn off” the noise and comparative chaos of a school day.

Are there any pre/post school sporty clubs that you can pop him in?

Equally, being a bit silly/naughty gets your attention. Might jealousy and feeling no longer number 1 child also be an issue.

Just wanted to add that your thread title (6 year old still needs so much parenting, normal?) really strongly suggests the possibility that your experience of him is very influenced by having a younger child. He likely seems to you to be much bigger and older than the second child, and that is perhaps making you partly forget how very young he is. Of COURSE a six-year-old needs loads of parenting. Six is very, very young, and a child's needs get more complex, not less, as they age.

I'm sure we've all been guilty of expecting too much of our older children at times, so don't beat yourself up about this. But do remember how tiny he is

Six year old still needs so much parenting?!?
OMG, wait till you've got a teenager that still needs so much parenting!😂

Just my thoughts . I’m a TA in ks1. It’s early on in the year and the change from Foundation to Year 1 is massive. Children are pinned down all day and the curriculum is rammed. Could it be he’s just letting off steam after a long day?

Just a thought as the boys (on the whole) I work with can struggle as all they really need to do is be allowed to be 6 years old, to be silly, learn through play end run off their energy. Not nagged about cursive hand writing 🙄

Sounds like my 6 year old lad too. Except without the daily punching and kicking.

Sounds similar to my 5, almost 6, year old. He can have a busy day, e.g. in half term DH got him and his younger brother (3) washing the car, hoovering, general housework, weeding, literally all day 😂 then in the evening they still run laps in the kitchen. 😂😂 Minimal screen time here too, only 30-60 mins of TV in the evening and no iPad/phone/gaming. It's easier in summer when they can go out onto the gated driveway to play as they run off lots of energy out there. I was going to get them headtorches so I can still put them out when they get too wild. 😂 I think some kids, maybe boys in particular, have tons of energy and just need so much physical activity and/or time outside. Y1 and onwards is so much time sitting / being inactive at school that can be hard for them.

My DS 7 has ADHD and he is honestly like a 6 month old baby. The only difference is he sleeps through the night now (just!). Requires constant parent attention, feeding, getting dressed, going to the toilet… it’s exhausting!
Met a friend in a cafe and was shocked at how well her children ‘behaved’ aka just sitting there and eating their cake quietly. DS was all over the place, under the table etc 🙃

Seems pretty normal to be. Currently wishing my 8 year old would stop talking to me, I know it’s awful but why do they need sooooo much attention??? 😭

He’s 6 poor love, not 16!

Definitely getting harder. I’m currently sat in his room in the dark reminding him to stop talking and go to sleep. If I wasn’t here he’d be out of bed every minute. I used to be able to leave him when he was little 😂

I had the same issue with DS when he transitioned to year 1. His previous school had them sitting all day, no real play area, and then the after school club mostly involved sitting down and quietly playing with Lego. He was liked a caged lion by the time we got home at 4:30!

He’s now at the school where I work for year 2 , where he gets far more movement during the day. However, he still needs a good hour of running/jumping/wrestling etc. in order for him not to be bouncing off the walls when we get home. Thankfully, several other students stay back and play football so I can supervise him and get some work done on my laptop outside.

My experience with after school clubs hasn’t been great, and there isn’t much running around. But I’m not in the uk and appreciate that it would vastly differ from school to school. Could the childminder take him to a playground after school perhaps?

I agree with you 100%. The way Year 1 is done in traditional schooling is complete madness.

Aw your OP just made me laugh, sorry. He sounds like he is full of energy and joy and creativity. And why is he being told not to keep shouting facts and ideas?! I remember taking my DC on a playdate to a friend's house, and their child (older than your DS) just getting everything out of their bedrooms and chucking it down the stairs and sliding down on it. It wouldn't have happened in my house so I was quite shocked. The child is a doctor now!

I appreciate it is tiring but yes it sounds normal, it will pass, and he will soon be a grumpy tween possibly not wanting to talk to you or play at all.

If you have a garden or local park, can you let him run round for a bit before or after school to burn off some energy? I had to do this with my DS at that age.