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Original poster

6 year old still needs so much parenting, normal?

102 replies

OhhDELICIOUS · 07/11/2025 19:15

DS1 is 6 very soon and in year 1. School think he is a ‘character’ but have no issues with behaviour and academically he’s flying.

He just requires so much parenting still. Constant low level messing around, constant stream of noise, constant requests for attention.

Prime example was tonight. Came up for his bath. Went for a wee, didn’t lift the seat up (never does) and got wee everywhere. Therefore told to clean it up. Made an absolute song and dance of it and used up a significant amount of toilet roll and at one stage tried to put his whole head in the toilet water. Then joined his brother in the bath. After <5 minutes was just being a general pest throwing water around and trying to turn the taps on. Asked to stop once, didn’t, so he was removed from the bath. He didn’t like this and screamed and cried. But it doesn’t matter, next time they have a bath he’ll do the same again. Consequences just never equate to long term change. Then going down the stairs, he decided to lie down and try and propel himself face first. When DH realised and shouted for him to stop (in fear) he thought it was hilarious. Genuinely couldn’t seem to see the danger. Got downstairs and he immediately shoved his brother over, so he’s had another telling off and Lego put away. We are all miserable needless to say.

I thought by age 6 we might have found more of a balance of enjoying each other’s company, but he still requires just as much, if not more parenting as my 2.5 year old.

I was wondering if this might be ADHD, but from my understanding it isn’t just in the home? Does anyone have any advice? Thanks

OP posts:
NearlyDec · 07/11/2025 19:16

Could be masking at school.

Original poster
OhhDELICIOUS · 07/11/2025 19:23

NearlyDec · 07/11/2025 19:16

Could be masking at school.

Thanks, yeah I’ve seen about masking in relationship to autism in girls but a friend who’s a teacher seemed to think kids with ADHD don’t mask to the same extent. I think school would be shocked if they knew how disruptive he can be at home.

OP posts:
mynameiscalypso · 07/11/2025 19:23

I have a six year old too. Nothing you’ve said seems unusual to me and based on the ridiculous behaviour when his friends come over for play dates, I don’t think we’re alone.

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2 year olds 6 year olds Families General parenting
Original poster
OhhDELICIOUS · 07/11/2025 19:24

mynameiscalypso · 07/11/2025 19:23

I have a six year old too. Nothing you’ve said seems unusual to me and based on the ridiculous behaviour when his friends come over for play dates, I don’t think we’re alone.

Okay, this is really reassuring, thanks. He’s the eldest in the family so I just struggle to know what’s normal! X

OP posts:
Newsenmum · 07/11/2025 19:25

NearlyDec · 07/11/2025 19:16

Could be masking at school.

Yeah could be autistic and massive sensory seeker and yes they do mask

GeneralChatter · 07/11/2025 19:26

I see this all as just a young little adventous boy. In my opinion.

he won’t learn consequences without at least a warning, then a reminder , on the next event then remove from situation.

parenting is really bleedy hard, try to see how he is expressing himself through play and also learning those boundaries and how far he can push them.

(2 x ADHD kids here)

CaviarForTea · 07/11/2025 19:27

It sounds really intense and full on to me.

My almost 6yo might act like this for a short period if extra hyper e.g. his cousins he never sees came over and they were all being silly and loud

However, most days would pass without crazy incident. So if this is a very typical day for him, I'd think it's a bit abnormal

Hdpr · 07/11/2025 19:28

I don’t think anything you’ve said sounds out of the ordinary. If he was still doing this at 10/11 I’d be more worried. Though my 13yo still misses and pees on the floor!

Meadowfinch · 07/11/2025 19:29

He sounds completely normal to me. My 6yo would certainly mess around in the bath, flood the bathroom, he'd try to roll down the stairs and would definitely trip up his friends.

Your ds is 6. He's male. Common sense doesn't really come into the package for a decade yet. If ever.

BigGirlBoxers · 07/11/2025 19:34

It does sound pretty normal, and I don't think that replies suggesting a label are always helpful.

The first thing that came to my mind was to wonder whether he is stressed by your stress at his behaviour. It is easy to get into a cycle where you are visibly worn out and worried by his behaviour, and his perception of your mood feeds into his escalation.

So my suggestion is to take care of yourself, give yourself opportunities to de-stress, and try to ensure that you can stay calm in the face of six-year-old button pressing.

Ecrire · 07/11/2025 19:35

CaviarForTea · 07/11/2025 19:27

It sounds really intense and full on to me.

My almost 6yo might act like this for a short period if extra hyper e.g. his cousins he never sees came over and they were all being silly and loud

However, most days would pass without crazy incident. So if this is a very typical day for him, I'd think it's a bit abnormal

Been a while since I’ve heard the word “abnormal” used in the context of children’s behaviour…

Original poster
OhhDELICIOUS · 07/11/2025 19:36

CaviarForTea · 07/11/2025 19:27

It sounds really intense and full on to me.

My almost 6yo might act like this for a short period if extra hyper e.g. his cousins he never sees came over and they were all being silly and loud

However, most days would pass without crazy incident. So if this is a very typical day for him, I'd think it's a bit abnormal

Intense is exactly the word to describe him. I’ve gone up for a shower and he keeps yo yo ing out of his bedroom (where DH is trying to get him ready for bed) to shout facts/thoughts/stuff to me through the door despite DH repeatedly telling him not to. He can be a funny, engaging child but he’s exhausting, it’s hard to know though if it’s a level to be a problem or just his personality though!

OP posts:
Original poster
OhhDELICIOUS · 07/11/2025 19:37

Thank you all so much for the reassuring comments @Hdpr @Meadowfinch @BigGirlBoxers . I really appreciate it x

OP posts:
peonysinthesun · 07/11/2025 19:38

I have a 6 year old boy and regularly have care of other 6 year old boys for play dates family sleepovers etc and all sounds very normal. It’s exhausting as parents but very normal. He will grow out of it, in the meantime hang in there. I would recommend reading some books on raising boys it helped me understand them a lot x

Original poster
OhhDELICIOUS · 07/11/2025 19:39

BigGirlBoxers · 07/11/2025 19:34

It does sound pretty normal, and I don't think that replies suggesting a label are always helpful.

The first thing that came to my mind was to wonder whether he is stressed by your stress at his behaviour. It is easy to get into a cycle where you are visibly worn out and worried by his behaviour, and his perception of your mood feeds into his escalation.

So my suggestion is to take care of yourself, give yourself opportunities to de-stress, and try to ensure that you can stay calm in the face of six-year-old button pressing.

The first thing that came to my mind was to wonder whether he is stressed by your stress at his behaviour. It is easy to get into a cycle where you are visibly worn out and worried by his behaviour, and his perception of your mood feeds into his escalation

There may well be some truth to this, thank you for your insightful comment x

OP posts:
cadburyegg · 07/11/2025 19:39

BigGirlBoxers · 07/11/2025 19:34

It does sound pretty normal, and I don't think that replies suggesting a label are always helpful.

The first thing that came to my mind was to wonder whether he is stressed by your stress at his behaviour. It is easy to get into a cycle where you are visibly worn out and worried by his behaviour, and his perception of your mood feeds into his escalation.

So my suggestion is to take care of yourself, give yourself opportunities to de-stress, and try to ensure that you can stay calm in the face of six-year-old button pressing.

This

My 10 and 7 year olds are still a handful at times I’m afraid.

the biggest lie I was ever told was “it’s easier as they get older”

BobblyBobbleHat · 07/11/2025 19:41

He sounds like a classic, energetic and excitable 6 year old. Perhaps at 6 he could bath separately to his brother? Maybe treating him a little older and giving him his own time might help him?

OverNotOver · 07/11/2025 19:42

Sounds normal to me. Maybe the more intense end of normal, but doesn’t leap out to me as being particularly unusual. I’m a Beavers leader and he sounds like two thirds of my current colony!

Scottishskifun · 07/11/2025 19:42

Sounds exactly the same as my 6 year old but yep definitely in a pushing boundaries/not listening stage.

We have stopped repeating things he gets 3 warnings then consequences. He definitely does remember them and I'd starts again the following day we simply say the same as yesterday will happen.

elliejjtiny · 07/11/2025 19:43

My son is quite similar to yours and he has adhd. He's 14 though, he was much more intense aged 6. I think this is fairly normal behaviour for a 6 year old.

Original poster
OhhDELICIOUS · 07/11/2025 19:44

Thank you everyone for being so kind and reassuring. DH is quiet, laid back and unassuming as is my toddler so it’s the horrible realisation that this intense, wild child must have come from me 😂

OP posts:
Ooogle · 07/11/2025 19:45

Sounds like a normal energetic 6 year old. Some are calmer, some are full of beans. 6 is still very young

Original poster
OhhDELICIOUS · 07/11/2025 19:45

cadburyegg · 07/11/2025 19:39

This

My 10 and 7 year olds are still a handful at times I’m afraid.

the biggest lie I was ever told was “it’s easier as they get older”

Show quote history

the biggest lie I was ever told was “it’s easier as they get older

😂 💯

OP posts:
bathroomadviceneeded · 07/11/2025 19:49

I have a 7-year-old DS and also teach that age. This seems to be on the more intense side of normal, but still within normal range of behaviour.

I would ask if he’s getting enough physical activity during the week? My DS can be really intense if he hasn’t had the opportunity to burn off some energy after school. I often stay back at school for 45mins-1 hour while he plays football with friends or we go to a playground. The evening routine is much easier on those days, even if it means getting home later for my other 2 DC.

My friends with boys like this do so many physical extracurriculars, like jujitsu, football, swimming etc. almost every night of the week.

I also find that too much screen-time really affects my DS’s behaviour. He’s currently on a week-long screen ban due to his behaviour in a lesson at school, and he is like a different child. DH and I don’t want to allow screens back in!

Other than that, I don’t really have any advice, just solidarity!

Wafflefinder · 07/11/2025 19:50

I also have a six year old boy and he sounds very similar to my son. Only last night I told him I’m not sure he’s a human child, he’s more like a Tasmanian devil. This was while he was running up and down the landing with his trousers round his ankles, for reasons best known to himself.