Most amazing job advert ever

[samarrange]

Make sure you are not drinking anything when you read this, because you will blow liquid out of your nose. https://www.tes.com/jobs/vacancy/private-tutor-london-england-oxfordshire-2256768

Potential job share maybe?

Thinking about it, he may not pass the DBS 😳

It gives the impression they got staff to write the ad too, a member of staff who has never met 'the boy.'

Poor kids, and this is absolutely fascinating, how the other half live!

Well, that's me out 😂

Poor child.
Although £180k is not enough money to sit through one game of cricket never mind attempting to teach a 1yr old the rules of cricket.

Also, how would anyone know you were successful in teaching even 10% of the things on that list, 1-2yrs old toddlers are hardly the most cooperative of humans.

Not much fun in the rain.

If anyone has watched the Crown it reminded me of how Al Fayed (Egyptian) was obsessed with Englishness and befriending the English aristocracy (including setting up his son Dodi with Diana).

There is no reason why the boy can’t visit Lord's, Wimbledon and Twickenham for example, and be taught age-appropriate understanding of cricket, tennis, rugby and other sports such as equestrianism (including polo) and rowing. The Thames has many rowing clubs which could be visited on a formal or informal basis, helping to build the boy’s awareness of these traditional sports and their place in society.

I was thinking football…Millwall FC?

We'd welcome him up here in Wigan! 😁

Amazing. I could do it. The lord blessed me with a very RP accent. Combine that with a bit of YouTube dance party and I think we have the musical enrichment down. Not sure they thought through the rowing with a 1 year old though 😂

Back in the day my friend was interviewed by Al-Fayed for a very similar role, entertaining Dodi.

Oooh, I might do a career change!! I rather like the idea of hanging about museums, art galleries, cafes and naice places etc with a 1 year old...for £180K per annum (pro rata), working a 25hr week (that salary is over 4 times what I earn in a year working FT hours!). And a five hour shift ("plus preparation") sounds like a dream! I've been in UK since I was 10, and my English accent is good. Went to great schools and universities. I can ride horses, ski and sail (not done any of those things since I had my DC, but I'm sure it's like riding a bike!), so maybe that will please them! I'm a nurse though. Still, I'm good at teaching, have oodles of patience and can think on my feet. I raised my DC to be bilingual and they've both turned out well....

This ad has to be a joke. Who the hell pays £180K for this sort of thing?!

I thought Middle Eastern 🤷‍♀️ They require Laurence of Arabia, 🤪

‘Received Pronunciation’, what does that even mean??

Did you notice - all the way through ‘the boy’ - poor little toad!

Pity help him if he doesn’t turn out to fit their mould.

Truly and utterly crackers.

Cannot be real. Reads like a very clumsy AI précis for a job that doesn’t exist. “The boy”. Come on. Try much harder.

It’s crackers. Trying So so hard. Can you imagine what their aspirational types like Wills and Kate, and Zara and Mike would make of this stuff? I’d put money on them howling laughing and then feeling slightly sad.

Possibly failed to learn how to row and play polo by his 4th birthday?

Really hoping Big Bro corrupts the one year old!

Received Pronunciation’, what does that even mean??

It’s basically your stereotypical “posh” English accent, a bit like the royal family members sound. Used to also be known as BBC English, although these days there are all sorts of accents on the BBC.

'The boy' loool. Poor kid.

Don't think me and my broad Derbyshire accent are cut out for it sadly 😂 I'm not from an acceptable background.

The ad soon deteriorated into 'the boy.' Crikey, this is awful and 'the boy' is going to end up like Sebastian from Brideshead Revisited!

The worst part for me was where it talked of 'VIP families.' Obviously, they think they really are special!

And 'received pronunciation' ruled me out!

I actually have a family member that fulfills almost all the criteria- highly educated at the best schools and university, speaks with an RP accent, a highly trained early years specialist, loves rowing, cricket, etc as well as museums, art galleries, classical music etc. Has not worked in royal households though!
But they are about to retire and regularly look after their own 1 year old grandchild, but don't get paid £180k for doing it!

Dafuq! I thought it was satire at first. I'm still not 100% sure it's not!

Obviously, they think they really are special!

Tbf, if they can afford to pay £180k for a childminder they're pretty special.

I've had (and still have) a role in a private residence - I WFH part-time in my admin job!

Well they have it totally wrong. Quintessentially English would be living in the countryside in a rambling old house, where it leaks like a sieve, clunks with the plumbing, and the pipes need a wallop with a spanner to ‘get the Bally thing working’. Add one black Labrador, one Jack Russell, gum boots for walking around the estate, sports jacket and flannels held together with bale-a-twine! Oh, I nearly forgot the holy cashmere jumper, and the archers playing in the back ground….
Nobody seems to have told them, you can’t buy or learn ‘Englishness’!

mind you, if I lived in London, I’d be very tempted to apply!