One sibling gets more playdates than the other

[TheBrightBear]

How do you help the sibling who is sad because they want the same number of playdates as their older sibling but doesn't get asked (less socially able but still loves going on them). I do manage to organise some for him but it all takes more effort and there is a smaller pool of people that he plays with so less options. Ironically the one being asked all the time would prefer more down time at home. The comparison is very hard.

Like you deal with all difference between them.

You comment (in this case) "Well, he's older than you" (even if you don't think that's the reason) and distract, distract, distract.

Dc1 has more playdates than dc2, but we've not had any complaints from dc2. DH usually takes her out somewhere fun while I host, so she's often not aware and happy to have one to one parent time.

if the older one wants more downtime let him

are they at your house or his froends

I am sure as long as he goes to school, good times will come and he will make many friends.

Yes I do but he notices anyway and keeps count. It's also a pain because I then have to entertain him and if they are both at home they play together

It's a tricky one. It is an opportunity to learn about jealousy and comparison.

If I see someone eating a delicious donut, it does not mean that one will magically appear in my hand.

That person did everything they needed to do to be eating that donut.

But also, there'll be someone somewhere eating 2 donuts. That shouldn't stop the guy with 1 donut enjoying his.

I would also encourage DC, who wants more playdates, to speak with his friends and spread the word.