What’s the craziest thing you did post partum?

[Openyoureyes102733]

hey guys,

I thought I’d start off something light hearted and to hopefully help any new mums out there that may need it/give us all a good laugh.

What’s the craziest thing you did post partum?

Had another with the same bloke

Very good @Piemam!

What about you, OP? @Openyoureyes102733

@Piemam it gets like that sometimes

Ironed… EVERYTHING, like, everything!
It was the hottest summer since 1976, I was a walking corpse, but for some reason, I thought I had to iron stuff.

Came home after my second baby 24 hours after a forceps delivery and decided that I should mop the floor. 🫣 I had a newborn, 14 months old and lots of stitches!

Stopped eating,
and then wondered why my milk didn't come in

Hallucinations were fun (no sleep). Then one night making dinner for some reason I poured the pasta down the sink. Scooped it out (luckily the sink was empty), put it back in the pan - then squished fairy liquid all over it. Cried then ordered takeout.

Whilst nesting: “need to regrout the bathroom for the baby”

We bought an AC unit as it was the hottest summer ever, but I was terrified of turning the baby into an icicle so would put an alarm on to turn the AC on and off

not mega unhinged but put my brand new electric pump in a sink of soapy water to wash it, then wondered why the water was making a pumping sound, then realised, then cried

Sang myself to sleep while baby DS watched from his next to me crib.

@hkathy oh now you say the majority of my unhinged moments were whilst nesting…

Set off to Asda to do the shopping, found myself at Tesco wearing slippers with no memory of the journey.

This is so relatable! 😂 while nesting I had my DH doing all sorts of random jobs like asking him if he would clean the attic and the shed, re-silicone the bathroom etc and feeling a bit disheartened when he said no because "I just want the baby to think we live in a nice home.." 😂

I tried to put my shopping in the boot of someone else's car at Tesco because it was the same colour as mine and parked nearby. I'm amazed their alarm didn't go off while I was trying to get the boot open.

Didn’t brush my teeth for 2 days after first c-section (I was still in hospital) I didn’t even realize that I hadn’t brushed my teeth and husband didn’t mention anything when he came to visit 😂

Second c-section didn’t wash my hair for 9 days yes 9 days in the first few weeks after I came home from the hospital 🤣🤣

@K2012 as I’m anonymous I can be truthful on the internet, there were a few weeks I couldn’t remember if I’d showered or not post c section, I was too scared because of my scar

Done plenty of crazy things but not sure any of them are actually funny tbh. Not much about post partum was that light hearted.

That leads me on to a brilliant story for you all and again I think this is a bit more unhinged.

so day 5 after c section… time to remove the dressing.

I’m stood in my bathroom knickers down, with a mirror on the bath to see what I was doing. Part way through dressing removal and it can only be what I can describe as stuck in the wound. Very rationally (NOT) I am hysterically crying because my wound hurt already so much and the thought of it being stuck and trying to peel it off was unbearable. Sobbing sobbing sobbing, my partner comes up to offer assistance and I could have been mistaken for someone possessed in my response because… how stupid of him to ask to help me at my time of need. Anyway if it wasn’t already chaos my noses starts to bleed (something it has done maybe once in my 34 years on this earth). Partner gives me wrong nose bleed advice, mini satan comes out again.

he calls for back up (I.e my mother downstairs).

there I am 34, no knickers on, my nose pouring with blood whilst my mother consoles me.

only 5 minutes later to try the dressing from the other side and it pop off no issues.

@FTM6781 in hindsight nesting would have been a better time.

Theres plenty that is not light hearted but if I don’t laugh about them I’d cry.

Glad you made it through it though 💖

Googled “will my baby ever stop crying” during the “witching hour” one night when I thought I was losing my mind.

On our first proper trip out of the house with my family, husband left changing bag at the side of the road when we pulled away. I made him drive 30 minutes home and 30 minutes back to where we were. In my defence it did have formula and bottles in it which we obviously needed.

Sat in the back of the car with baby on every trip out for months just to make sure she was still breathing.

Gave up breastfeeding after 2 weeks when baby wouldn’t latch, lost weight and I couldn’t hack pumping. Berated myself and felt guilty for about a year for giving up too easily and not giving her the best start in life. Of course it has made no difference to her whatsoever!

I’m pregnant with my second so who knows what this postpartum will bring!!

Oh and to add, I kept calling my very much ‘he’ a ‘she’ for a few weeks accidentally. My partner had to keep correcting me that we had a little boy 😂😂😂

@JuniperAndTonic THERE IS NOTHING MORE SOUL DESTROYING THAN LEAVING THE CHANGING BAG BEHIND - have also been guilty of this 😂

In my sleep deprived state I confused the bin for the washing machine and vice versa. I was popping the muslins in the bin but nappies in the washing machine. Got super annoyed that I could only find 2x muslins, stuck the wash on. Went to hang up the muslins to find absolute carnage in the washing machine. The nappies shredded and there was this weird lumpy gel everywhere. Scooped out as much as I could into the bin (found muslins) cried. Ordered more. Cried some more. Tried to then hoover out the machine. Broke the Dyson and ended up ordering a new washing machine. Cried some more. Wondered how I was going to admit what I had done to H. More crying.

He was fine and in my rational mind knew he would find it funny and he did. The best bit was we ended up with a new washing machine and new hoover.

My second child wasn't born smoothly. I didn't cope with the labour pain and demanded an epidural (I may have told the midwife to stick the gas and air machine up her own arse, pain doesn't bring out the best in me). I had a forceps delivery following a failed ventouse and, I was later to discover, an undiagnosed third degree tear. My posterior was like half a pound of raw mince. Nonetheless, I went home later the same day (this was the early 1990s, I could have stayed in for a few days). When I got home I set about dealing with the contents of the laundry basket and doing the hoovering. When I spoke to my mum on the 'phone she said, "Come to us, we're desperate to see the baby, we'll look after you, you can have a proper rest, and we can help with DD1." That seemed a brilliant idea. So barely 24 hours after a messy instrumental delivery I spent eight hours in the passenger seat of a car, moving only to feed and change the baby and attend to my toddler.

Fortunately, Mum had arranged for the community midwife to visit me at her house. I still regard the midwife removing the continuous suture that was cutting into my very swollen posterior as one of the kindest things I've ever had done for me by a stranger.

Amazingly, I didn't suffer any long term consequences, was crazy careless enough to have more babies, and went on to have uneventful vaginal deliveries with barely a scratch