Tips for VERY long flight with a toddler?

[noramoo]

Hi everyone,

We are flying to visit DH's family in East Asia at the weekend with 16 month old DD. She's flown well before but only short haul. Flight involves a 12 hour night flight overnight, 2 hour connection then 3/4 hour final flight. So, needless to say, it won't be great fun for anyone! Mercifully we do have my DM with us too who is a huge help. We have booked the seats at the front with the bassinet but think DD too big to actually use it now. She doesn't have her own seat so will probably end up asleep on our laps.

Does anyone have any tips and tricks they can share? We don't do any screentime (just personal preference).

Also, any tips for navigating jetlag? Time difference is 9 hours ahead of UK.

Thanks so much. (I am really quite stressed about the whole thing and hoping for no meltdowns!!!)

I would do screentime. Longhaul flights are boring and uncomfortable and boring even if you're old enough to read, watch films and walk around to stretch your legs, and know what's happening when your ears pop.

Would you want to go the whole flight with no screen time? Get a grip.

You've done a right thing with the night flight.
My advice would be to book a hotel right at the end of the longest leg then just check in and recover without having to move on that day.
Then finish off the flights and other travel the next day.
Also try to keep the routine and things the same on the flight, so have some familiar food, then brush teeth and change into pyjamas then read a familiar book and have a familiar toy. You can hide them away until the right time.
You won't get the bassinet at that age but there is a special seat thing that fits in the same place and is much better then having them on your legs, that would be impossible and very uncomfortable for so long I think.
Not sure what else, I think all the white noise and excitement of getting on the plane would help with sleep!

How well does your DD sleep generally??
12hrs overnight would mean both of mine slept for 10hrs.

Just to add regarding jet lag kids deal with it better as they just nap whenever. Just make sure you also nap once there for the first few days otherwise the disturbed nights will be a bit much for you.
I've heard getting out in the light can help around lunch time at first then gradually earlier. Coming back is a lot easier than going there.

Theres no chance youre getting a bassinet.
Can you afford a seat for LO?
Otherwise, I'd definitely allow screens. We didn't have screens for first 2 years but allowed on long haul, kids mesmerized. Needs must.
If no screens, chunk your time. 1h each for baby, when baby is awake. Stickers, small crafts, lots of small but varied snacks ( I may have made a lucky dip in the past 😬 ).

And most of all, remember youre all on the same team and the time will pass. You will get through it xx

The only advice I would give is that just be mindful of flight attendants walking past when you have DD on your lap as I presume it’s still the case that DD will be on aisle persons lap, we got our DS asleep but flight attendant knocked him and he woke up, obviously nobody was happy.

Thanks all. Unfortunately flights are already booked @johnd2 so will be powering through!
@Popstarrrrr likewise she usually sleeps 10-10.5 hours overnight so really hoping to replicate somehow!

If she was old enough to watch a film I would stick one on, however she won't have the attention span and doubt she would want to wear a headset. It's an awkward age for this.

Love the advice from @dairydebris. Agree with making an exception on screen time for the flight if you can. Most small kids understand "special treats" can break normal rules. Get a bag with lots of small, cheap presents / crafts. Wrap individually. Lots of opportunities to offer a treat or surprise than. Also agree with nice snacks.

I did a 9 hour flight with no screen time (because she just wasnt interested) and DD was awake the entire time. We just read a lot and did small magnetic puzzles etc.

The trick was to have a full bag of things she had never seen before. All new books, toys etc. A new thing out every 30 mins. Got it all from the works.

Relent on the screens. It would be insane not to and it doesn’t have to be a slippery slope into a toddler crack cocomelon addiction. It’s what every single adult will be doing on a flight that long, why you’d try to hold a young toddler to a higher standard I have no idea, especially she’ll be unable to move around or take many of her toys with her. Poor kid doesn’t even have a seat and the bassinet will not be an option at 15 months. We flew a lot when DD was between 1 and 2 and she didn’t really have TV at home but I never limited it on flights. No toy, sticker book, colouring etc ever bought more 15 minutes of entertainment so ultimately I just stopped taking them and stuck to snacks, sippy cup, favourite cuddly toy and the ipad. At the very least have the ipad with some stuff downloaded and some kids headphones in your bag. If it goes well then you won’t have to use it but if she or you hits the end of their tether by the time you board flight 2 then you might be very, very glad of it.

Great shout re the treat bags, special snacks. Will be sure to stock up!

Fair point re adults using screens on flights (no thanks to PP kindly telling me to get a grip mind you 🙄). I will download some bits for her as a backup option and see if I can source toddler headphones. She barely even tolerates a hat though so could be interesting getting them on her haha

You don't need a film, if there is an in flight entertainment system they will have programmes suitable for toddlers, or download some onto an iPad.

If you have the seats at the front then dc will likely be able to play a bit on the floor, perhaps take a mini blanket to sit on, and some building blocks. There is also nothing like a few new small toys, a pack of snap or memory that can easily be played in the small space on the tray table.

Screen 'free' fam over here. We fly a lot! Not that long in one go thankfully, but frequently up to 8 hours + 1 hour connection.

1. Pray to your god that it's not a full flight
2. She will fall asleep on you and unless you are very confident to put her down just leave her. It is not worth losing the sleep pressure, even with dead legs.
3. Snacks, I pack a snack per hour of travel (obviously I don't use them all - it's just in case). Our best are raisins, cheese cubes, grapes, apples, satsumas, crisps of choice, biscuits, the little freddie yoghurt pouches (don't need to be kept cold).
4. If she still drinks milk take some uht cartons or kendamil ready made formula bottles (closest to milk taste) so you don't have to keep asking.
5. Lots of easy to keep hold of/together toys and activities. The Montessori electric boards are great at that age. Sticker books.
6. Lots of books, that's the best for us.
7. We are overwhelmingly screen free, and I actually don't recommend screen time early on in the flight because of the stimulation BUT, towards the last hour or so you really, really might want to consider it. Download some gentle shoes on your phone, amazing selection of old, slow, children's shows on Amazon prime.
8. Do not expect to sleep yourself. Just don't.

10. Reaffirm your love for each other with your husband before you embark.

Super helpful thank you! She loves sticker books so definitely stocking up on those, and will check out the electric boards too. Can you recommend any gentle shows?

Bluey.

And we only allow after they've fallen asleep.

Ie when they've woken back up and the flight isnt over but no chance of going back to sleep.

Also Winnie the Poo but might be a bit advanced for 16mo.

Not sure why people are so adamant about not getting a bassinet - BA had one for up to 24 months. We flew to Australia with my 20 month old and three year old. She slept in the bassinet - a bit of a squeeze but she fit (she wasn’t small either). Annoyingly any time we hit the slightest bit of turbulence the FA made me take her out even if fast asleep (and I would say I don’t think it was safer for her in my lap with a little loop seatbelt instead of strapped in to the bassinet). No screens - before their time! And if your child isn’t used to them don’t miss it. But for my three year old there was the in flight movie but he didn’t really focus on that.
So she was easy actually. My kids are good fliers. Three year old much more active and I feel everyone around us knew his name by the end. He discovered that snacks were kept out in the galley so made quite a few trips there! He didn’t sleep nearly as much as the 20 month old. The excitement of the plane. We brought the usual colouring book and a few toys. It wasn’t great but not nearly as bad as we feared.
We arrived at 4am local with kids wide awake but me and DH exhausted but we powered through. We decided against breaking the trip in Singapore and just wanted it done. You adjust to local time in a couple days.

Hi, I did a 2 hour flight + 3 hr layover + 10 hr flight with an 18 m old recently (10hr overnight)

1. Speak to airline about getting bulkhead seats for more room. For our carrier, this meant being in the first people at check in. Got us extra legroom so child could play at our feet a bit and save our legs for a while

1. Board at the last minute rather than going early or your legs will be dead by takeoff

1. Do not let your child find out they can walk in the aisle or you will spend a lot of time doing this (!) carry them when you go to the toilet so they don't get knowledge of it..

1. Bring more snacks/food/drinks than you could ever dream of needing. The only food available for under 2s when we flew was puréed baby food.

1. If you are breastfeeding, do so as much and as often as possible.

1. Have a small, easy to access changing kit in a little pouch ready to grab and go

1. Use the layover time to EXHAUST your child in any little airport play area available or get them toddling/crawling in any quieter space to burn off max energy

1. Bring out a new toy an hour during waking time: finger puppets, little books, sucker toys that stick together/to the seats, window sticker things. Also had great success with a pack of paper cups pilfered from the trolley. I let my child pour bottled water back and forth between cups for about 20 minutes solid...

1. My sprog sleeps fine on planes but you will probably not sleep so bring plug in your earbuds and watch the screen/listen to whatever and accept your fate.

10. Jetlag - just roll with it. It will pass. We enjoyed some very early starts at our destination which meant we were the front of the queue for most attractions at opening haha!

Good point @mondaytosunday BA does have that older baby/young toddler seat that will, weight/height dependent, potentially work up for a 15 month old. OP if it is BA you might be in luck and that will help- imagine a larger baby bjorn bouncer. Granted I haven’t flown on all of them but I’ve never seen anything similar on another airline though so if it’s not BA I’d expect it to only be the standard carrycot and that DC will unfortunately be too big for it.

If you choose to use screens as a one off, you can do so without sound. We have flown with DD at 2 and 4 years old and she still doesn’t know that the tiny tv on the plane plays sound. No headphones, just the picture. She watches, enraptured, for an hour or so, then suddenly gets bored and goes to sleep on us.

Around 18 month is the absolute toughest age for long haul flights I found but we did loads with our kids at that age. Mine wouldn’t wear headphones until about 2.5 years but were happy to watch the iPad on silent for 10 mins here and there. I would let go of the no screen time rule, we had a ‘no iPads except on planes’ rule until around 3 and mine understood and accepted that, they didn’t start asking for it at home and just learnt they would get it on a flight, sometimes at a hotel if we were desperate but never at home or in a restaurant. As others have said lots of snacks, different toys etc but don’t expect them to play with anything for more than a few minutes, at that age it was walking up and down the aisle a lot, praying for them to sleep a bit and to get understanding air hostesses willing to entertain them in the galley while the rest of the plane was sleeping (not expected clearly but was lovely when it happened). Bring all the Calpol. Also mentally prepare yourselves to not sleep at all, this is really my number one piece of advice. We had flights where they surprised us and slept overnight but at that age with them on your lap you still can’t really sleep well, and we had flights where they were awake the whole 14 hour flight long, and literally fell asleep while landing. Just accept it won’t be fun, and that there may be a meltdown or two. Mine were always ok on the actual plane but definitely had a couple of major tantrums in the departure lounge, security, immigration etc.

You just have to do whatever it takes. screens, toys wrapped up so they can unwrap them, snacks, Calpol if needed, sugar free lollies... got to Flying Tiger and buy loads of sticker books, colouring in.
There is more to a a screen than a film - digital colouring, games, sing-a-longs, even looking at old photos for ages....
Please don't rule screens out. I wouldn't do that to an adult so don't so it to a child!

I just flew by myself with my 13 month old, 13 hour flight with an annoying stopover (so people getting on and off the flights while you stay on) and then another 2 hour flight.

For the night flight, he slept almost the whole way. Instead of a bassinet, BA give you a seat type thing that you can strap him in. Mine didn't want to sleep in that, he just slept on me/next to me (we had business seats so he was lying down).

Every time there is turbulence they make you wake him up and strap him in the most USELESS strap i have ever seen. Does nothing. He'd fly out of that in a second. But that's that, you can't fight it.

The second flight was a nightmare. I was tired, he was tired, it was middle of the day, he wanted to climb over everything etc. I survived although I was probably not the most popular passenger in business London - Madrid that day.

Re screen time- I'd love to give him screen time on the flight but he does not care for it at all. I don't know why I have the only toddler that doesn't look at Ms Rachel for more than 10 seconds and then literally throws the tablet across the room 😂

Flight back was a day flight but my partner came with so at least I was not alone. We survived. Snacks, toys, old and new. Lots of running. Some tantrums. Would like not to think about it too much.

The MOST important thing is PATIENCE. You will get there. You will. Just breathe.

Jet lag wise, we were fine. Babies are incredibly adaptable when it comes to jet lag. Better than us.

They hadn’t invented portable screens when mine were small, so it was books, toys they can fiddle with, snacks, colouring pens and pad, and the pleasure of watching the map screen, does that count. I did it solo with 1, then 2 dc 10 hours fairly regularly, was fine.