Please tell me it’ll be okay… closed motorway

[ZaHaK]

I came home later than I thought I would from a shopping centre. Usually it’s fine, but there was a motorway closure and it was close to baby bedtime.
shes 9 months old and I literally couldn’t get to her and she cried so much and she was scared but I couldn’t stop anywhere. She was crying and struggling to breathe. Never been like that before.
as soon as I got off, I parked in a side street, fed her and made sure she was asleep.
She’e still sighing in her sleep from all the crying she did. I feel like the worst mum ever 😢🥺

It will be fine. It will be absolutely fine.

I’m sure she will be fine, but if my child was struggling to breathe and I was on the motorway, I’d have pulled into the hard shoulder and taken her out of the car until she calmed down.

It’s the adrenaline. You’re hard wired to think that if your baby is screaming you need to protect them from a bear or something.

DD is fine, you will be fine. You’re just dealing with the comedown of an adrenaline rush.

Have a sweet cup of tea and go to bed. She’s okay, you’re okay. Keep that in mind.

Oh that must’ve been very upsetting for you too.. but she is fine now and there will be no lasting effects.

It’ll be fine.

And - you’re a great mum. The fact you’re even worrying about this tells me that. Breathe.

It will definitely be ok, honestly.
There was nothing you could do until you could get off the motorway, your baby will be fine. She won’t remember, you are absolutely not the worst Mum ever, it happens to everyone.

If she's screaming, she's breathing!

Pulling over onto the hard shoulder is so bloody dangerous op did exactly the right thing

Ahhh she'll be fine. After being fed and a good sleep she'll wake up refreshed and have moved on from it.

It happened to me. Stuck in traffic on a narrow road with no way to pull in and she was screaming her head off. Was awful. Pulling in on the hard shoulder is dangerous. You did the right thing.

Yes!

Any risk to her from being distressed and screaming is much less than the risks from pulling over onto a hard shoulder. You did the right thing in a difficult situation,

I absolutely would not have done this as the risk of being hit by a car on the motorway is huge.

I got stuck in a multi-storey packed car park traffic jam with a screaming newborn. It was so stressful and I remember it well. All the posters upthread saying it will be okay are correct. Hope you have a good night’s sleep and are able to relax in the end.

She was tired and upset but ultimately she was safe and that’s the most important thing.

Ahh bless you that sounds tough. Agree you did the only thing you could do.

(People die on hard shoulders, I’ve never heard of babies dying from crying for a while, awful as it sounds)

Be kind to yourself and fresh start tomorrow.

You absolutely did the right thing OP. Some motorways don't even have hard shoulders anyway and it is illegal to stop unless an emergency - which isn't a child crying.

It must have been so stressful for you but it's done now. You are definitely not a terrible Mum, you sound like a wonderful Mum who puts her child first.

There was no hard shoulder.

Thank you everyone ❤️

You absolutely did the right thing. To do anything else would have been dangerous.

Also look up Winnicot and the concept of a good enough parent. His theory was that sometimes you have to disappoint your child as a natural part of them growing up and discovering that their parent can't always provide everything for a child exactly when they want it. It helps them to eventually manage the world around them and realise that they are not the centre of the world. It happens through situations such as this when they discover that they are an individual and there are limits to their domain. As a parent you always want the best for your child but sometimes our efforts to provide our best for them will fall short of their expectations. When it does you can reassure yourself that you were being good enough.

No long term harm has happened and your child has started to learn about the limits of their and your control. By the time they are a teenager you will be a constant disappointment no matter how hard you try!

horrendous advice. no.

To echo others yes she will be fine and you will be fine.
reminded me of the time I had been in slow moving traffic and dd2 was around 6 months old. She was losing the plot as dummy fallen out. I pulled safely over to park and my friend was on the pavement, I can’t remember exactly why but I couldn’t get out for a few minutes maybe lots of traffic? I wound the window down and asked my friend to please lean in and replace the dummy which she did, makes me laugh now. The child is now 18 years and very much ok despite occasional crying dramas as a baby

God it’s so upsetting when this happens. I remember so well the exact same thing happening to me stuck on the M4 when my eldest was 3 months old. It was torture for both of us. But she was fine, I was fine (if a little frazzled!) and the worse part was that I was breastfeeding so couldn’t even have a glass of wine when I got home to calm my nerves!

As a PP said, we are hard-wired to respond to our babies cries, that’s why it’s so hard for us to ignore them and it feels so desperate when we can’t help them. But that doesn’t mean they need us as much as it feels like at the time, if that makes sense?

Thank you so much everyone. That cry was something else…it was dark, she had no light at the back. She was scared and hungry and couldn’t see me. I felt so bad. Glad to know it won’t do any lasting damage … even though I knew deep down it wouldn’t.

I hope you are both ok.She couldn't see you but she could hear you.She will be fine,I hope you are ok too😊

I am okay now we are at home and she’s asleep soundly. Thank you again everyone