Name changed for privacy.
I've recently moved in with my partner, along with my 8-year-old DS. My partner isn’t DS’s father, but they've known each other for a long time, and we’ve now moved into his home - a large country house with land, it's lovely! DS is happy about the move, but…
My partner’s mother lives on the property too, in a separate house. She comes over to our house to use the washing machine, which I don’t mind in principle at all - but each time she does, she pops her head into DS's bedroom and comments on whatever DS is doing (e.g., if he's watching TV or gaming).
She also comes into the kitchen for a long chat whenever she sees us there - even when I’m doing an activity or spending quality time with my son. DS said to me yesterday, “Will there always be other people in the house?” He’s used to it being just the two of us, with privacy and our own space. Now he seems unsure whether he can just relax without being “on.”
I completely understand that adjusting to sharing space takes time, and I get that she might be lonely or just looking for a chat. I also don’t want to be rude. But I’m struggling to find the balance... I want this to feel like DS’s home too, where he can switch off and just be himself without feeling like he has to entertain or answer to others. She isn't his grandmother.
How can I navigate this dynamic gently but firmly, so that DS feels comfortable and we can have our space respected? I need advice!