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Original poster

How are they doing all these things with newborns?!?!

111 replies

CEMummy · 17/07/2025 09:41

FTM here - DS is 8 weeks old and I think I just need a sense check here. The WhatsApp group from our antenatal class is full of chat about going to the cinema, going out for lunch, trips to friends and local attractions etc. I’m EBF and had a difficult recovery from a CS and DS is not the easiest baby, nor does he let me sleep for more than 3 hours at a time - how on earth are they doing all of these things?!?! The babies range in age from 2-10 weeks and I just feel like I’m nowhere near doing all this fancy stuff, if I can get out for a walk or to a cafe I feel like I’ve done well. Are they just lucky?!?!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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Bread121bread · 18/07/2025 06:55

Comparison will steal joy. Do what is best for yourself and your family.

Allswellthatendswelll · 18/07/2025 07:00

stayathomer · 18/07/2025 05:16

With more difficulty than they let on on social media! The cinema trip is bizarre and wrong, surely they wouldn’t allow a baby into a cinema, their poor ears!

Baby cinema! It's a thing and they turn the volume down. Baby feeds or sleeps and you drink coffee. Bliss when you are in the slog of newborn days. Yes you could do it at home but some people like to get out.

SouthLondonMum22 · 18/07/2025 07:24

stayathomer · 18/07/2025 05:16

With more difficulty than they let on on social media! The cinema trip is bizarre and wrong, surely they wouldn’t allow a baby into a cinema, their poor ears!

Baby cinema is the best.

Some people also genuinely have an easier time with a newborn. I was bored but other than that didn't find it difficult.

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Jadetheobscure1989 · 18/07/2025 08:24

stayathomer · 18/07/2025 05:16

With more difficulty than they let on on social media! The cinema trip is bizarre and wrong, surely they wouldn’t allow a baby into a cinema, their poor ears!

Everyman do baby cinema screenings, soft lighting, and the sound is turned down.

doodleschnoodle · 18/07/2025 08:27

Yes baby cinema is great, DH and I went to see a few films while DD1 was tiny, it felt almost like a date night again! Like we were doing something for us for a few hours, even though DD1 was there just snoozing away!

Fearfulsaints · 18/07/2025 08:36

Do what is best for you. I was kind to myself after my first.

But i actually remember a friend who was much more active than I was post birth saying she was doing those things despite being stressed tired and in pain because she might as well be out and about as she then didn't also get cabin fever on top. Wheras I wasnt feeling cabin fever

LondonPapa · 18/07/2025 08:41

CEMummy · 17/07/2025 09:41

FTM here - DS is 8 weeks old and I think I just need a sense check here. The WhatsApp group from our antenatal class is full of chat about going to the cinema, going out for lunch, trips to friends and local attractions etc. I’m EBF and had a difficult recovery from a CS and DS is not the easiest baby, nor does he let me sleep for more than 3 hours at a time - how on earth are they doing all of these things?!?! The babies range in age from 2-10 weeks and I just feel like I’m nowhere near doing all this fancy stuff, if I can get out for a walk or to a cafe I feel like I’ve done well. Are they just lucky?!?!

With our kiddo, she let us do whatever. She’d sleep in her Bugaboo while we went to the pub. We could do those cinema outings and she’d be calm as anything.

Now though, sheesh. Not an easy child 😂

Allswellthatendswelll · 18/07/2025 08:49

SouthLondonMum22 · 18/07/2025 07:24

Baby cinema is the best.

Some people also genuinely have an easier time with a newborn. I was bored but other than that didn't find it difficult.

Show quote history

Yeah I found newborns easy. Toddlers on the other hand! Second time around I wanted to do some things before she became less portable!

Original poster
CEMummy · 18/07/2025 08:53

Wow I wasn’t expecting so many responses - so lovely to hear that I’m not the only one, and also lovely to hear that some of you had a relatively easier time so early on and could get out when you wanted to - hopefully I will be in that place soon, but thanks for the advice on not comparing yourself etc. - it’s really hard not to and I needed to hear that.

DS let me sleep a little bit more last night so I’m feeling more positive and given the sunshine here we are going to get out on a walk and grab an iced coffee 😊

OP posts:
JG24 · 18/07/2025 12:50

I ebf and did go to baby cinema etc a lot. I think it really depends on the baby, mine just got itself into a routine really easily so I knew when it would want to feed and nap every day. Plus it slept really well at night
All babies are different

Op1n1onsPlease · 18/07/2025 12:59

Countingtoten10 · 17/07/2025 10:36

Some people really overdo it when they have their first baby. I think there's a bit of proving to themselves that their life doesn't have to change that much. Sometimes they are running away from PND. Sometimes they just think they should. But it catches up with you in the end if you don't take the time to recover.

Of course there are some people who are just go go go by nature and that's what they enjoy.

But I know a lot of mums who burnt themselves out early on.

Take it easy, rest, skin to skin, you've got time to do all these things and you'll be better off for taking it slow.

Subsequent babies it's carnage, you'll be at your local soft play with a mental toddler and a newborn strapped to you at 5 days pp.

Yes, this.

With first baby you’re just finding your feet and a lot depends on how the birth was, what the baby is like (tbh I don’t think feeding method makes that much of a difference as it can be easier to be out and about ebf once you get confident feeding, as needs much less organisation, equally ff means you can time your babies demands a bit better and also leave the baby behind!) and also your own personality.

I really liked baby cinema with a tiny newborn as they just slept through it and I could enjoy the film. Otherwise I did enjoy getting out to cafes etc as made me feel a bit more human/normal/not just a milk machine. If you don’t want to or can’t do this it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong though.

With next babies you basically don’t have a choice as life goes on for your older child so if I were you I’d really enjoy just chilling at home as much as possible! My second was born in covid in winter and I was breastfeeding her on a freezing park bench the day after we got out of hospital as I had to exercise my 2 yo and there was nowhere else you could go.

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