Help a knackered ftm: formula the old-fashioned way

[Pessimist]

I have low breast milk supply so am having to use formula for feeding my newborn. The feeding plan is brutal and goes something like this:

1. strip baby to nappy (+ change if dirty) for skin-to-skin (3 mins)
2. boil kettle for formula
3. offer both breasts to baby (10 mins)
4. make up formula using 10-minute boiled water from kettle so it's hot but hasn't stripped all the nutrients, hopefully (2 mins)
5. console screaming baby while trying to cool the formula (150 years)
6. feed baby with lots of wind breaks (20 minutes)
7. pray baby sleeps and wash bottles for steriliser (2 mins)
8. settle baby so I can use the double pump (20 mins)
9. pump to encourage supply even though I probably have IGT (20 mins)

repeat every three hours. Try not to fall asleep standing up/while burping. Pray baby doesn't stay awake between breast and bottle cooling.

I'm broken. I'm terrified to use the perfect prep machine - my brother's baby was very poorly after an issue with theirs. I don't have the money for fancy gadgets like the rapidcool. My mum's telling me to pre-make the formula and put in the fridge and reheat, but 31 years later questions whether the warming up is safe and we know from hard-won experience that baby doesn't take cold milk.

I don't have family nearby and my husband has gone back to work today. I'm really struggling and need sleep. I set alarms to make sure baby gets fed every three hours and either the whole thing takes that long with settling, or I sleep through the alarms. By the time baby is awake, it's taking too long for my milk and the formula. I don't know how anyone does this 8 times a day.

Can you use readymade formula? Much easier in the early days. You can also make the powder up ready to drink by combining hot and cold water. We used the Perfect Prep too without any issues. I think new machines are better than the old ones that caused problems.

Do you really want to carry on with the triple feeding regime? It really is a full time job. I hated it and was much happier when I gave up the pumping and trying to breastfeed and just switched to formula.

Where I am, the paediatricians say to make formula up with cold water and store in the fridge for up to 8h, then warm up. We're in the rich part of the EU, but I think our formula and tap water are probably not significantly higher quality than yours ;) The UK seems to have very very overly strict guidelines, presumably to prevent the one in a million problem. Bizarrely in reverse, we're not meant to use Milton and are told to boil everything. I cheat and buy Milton from the expat store. Anyway, I think if you're prepared to take the tiny risk, you can relax.

That sounds unnecessarily complicated. However you feed your baby, it's hard enough to get a routine established and this sounds like it will break you. Ready made up formula is a godsend - and I did mixed feeding.

Im going to change your life

https://uk.nuby.com/products/rapidcoola-c-kit-and-changing-backpack-bundle?variant=43948014403798&currency=GBP

Get at least 2 coolers (white tubes)

We had about 4 and kept them in going out bags, bedroom and kitchen and then 1 in the sink.
If you are anxious its fresh and body temp in under 2 mins

Perfect prep machine

Tripple feeding is not easy at all. I hope you are in contact with a lactation consultant, it is a short term fix, not something you should do for too long at all.
And definitely use the pre prepared bottles of formula you don’t have time for faffing!

Is it really sustainable to keep triple feeding?
But yes absolutely make the bottles up in advance if you don’t want to use the prep machine. Cool rapidly, put in the back of the fridge and warm by standing in hot water not using a microwave and it’s fine. Although the prep machine is great, the NHS no longer recommends against them and they’re highly unlikely to have problems if you follow the instructions to the letter by only using their filter and cleaning monthly, after every filter change and after every period of not using e.g. if you go away for the weekend you need to clean it when you get back.

Honestly I found pumping to be fucking awful (I was on a similar routine to you due to low supply) stopping it was so much easier.

Id also either encourage you to use ready made or perfect prep - the perfect prep saved my sanity when we switched to it.

Triple feeding destroyed my mental health (no hyperbole) and when I stopped at 4m because I was just pumping and formula feeding (my dd just did not latch well) everything changed.

Please make sure you have proper support and know you can stop if its too hard.
Fed is best.

Against current advice!!! I made all the bottles in advance, kept them in the fridge and heated them in the microwave - shake after heating to disperse hotspots. My kids both thrived.

Or use remade for a bit. Ditch the pumping.

If you can afford it, get the pre made formula for now as it can be given straight away and it’s room temp so not cold. When DD1 was on formula, we kept a glass jar of cooled boiled water at all times. Made formula with 2oz boiling water & topped up to 6oz with the cooled boiled, perfect temp each time & no waiting.

When you’re breaking yourself pumping, just know it’s ok to move to formula. Equally, I understand why you are doing it as I’ve done it myself. What’s your output when you pump? Have you tried power pumping? And are you definitely using the right size flanges etc?

Similar situation, I dragged out combination feeding for 4 1/2 months. It is brutal.
How are you sterilising the pump and bottles?

Pre mixed formula, minimum for the night feed. Put in bottle and warm standing in water while you are trying to breast feed(I didnt but wish I had). Attach pump at end and pump whilst feeding with bottle. Anything you have expressed, put in fridge for next feed and add to formula. If cooling then do it standing in cold water / mix with chilled EBM (brings temp down quickly, but don't add EBM to boiling water). Wash pump and sterilise in microwave bag. Have x6 bottles and run a steriliser a couple of times a day.

Ultimately do whatever gets you slightly sane through. Congratulations on your baby.

It might be time to give yourself permission to let go of breast feeding. I found it incredibly hard to stop purely because of societal guilt and outside pressure but just formula feeding really is okay It saved my sanity and my physical health.

It might also be wise to stop the skin to skin contact at feeding time too and do it at bathtime instead. Feeding time is fraught enough without adding extra steps.

Edit - I raised two perfectly healthy dc on making up all the daily bottles in one go at night, storing in fridge, using 20 second bursts of microwave (timing is dependent on volume of formula), shaking bottle properly and wrist checking before feeding. If I recall correctly it meant the maximum time between nappy change and feeding was 40 seconds!!

We make up all the bottles for the day and put them in the fridge - then pop in hot water for a few mins before feeding. Technically not correct but it’s impossible to cool fresh formula in time. Both our children have been fine with this method.

alternativdly have you heard of a Rapid Cool? Might be worth buying!

I had issues with breastfeeding and it was destroying my mental health so I stopped. It was much better all round for me and for baby who could enjoy a relaxed feeding experience once I swapped. I used the old fashioned with my first- bottles prepped and in fridge and heated up once needed. Then used the perfect prep with my second. I was meticulous with ensuring the filters etc were clean and there were no issues.

Have you seen this BTW? A friend swears by it

https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/325109053?srsltid=AfmBOorj7PHt-SJutmgqVADBZzx_igDxEc_KLrrff6wV9hVjjAZ_e1Pa

My first piece of advice would be to stop pumping. Due to problems with BF I pumped and bottle fed from 6 weeks to 11 months and looking back I feel like some kind of madness had overtaken me - it was a bonkers thing to do and took over my life. My second DD was on formula from 4 months.

Second piece of advice would be to use a mix of hot & cold water to prepare the bottle (like a perfect prep does but without the cleaning of the machine), we found 2/3 of slightly cooled boiled water to 1/3 cold water was best. You need to add the hot water first to kill any bacteria in the formula itself, then top up with the cold. It is the formula not the water that is the issue for babies.

I did this for 4 months. It was brutal and took its toll. Only you can decide what’s right for you and how to feed but please just take care of yourself. It’s so hard.

on the formula front, exactly the same as @SlipperyLizard suggested. By far the best way. I wasn’t a fan of a prep machine and it made my little ones reflux worse.

I kept some bottles of filtered cold water in the fridge. Formula in the bottle, add just boiled water to it and then top up with the cold. After a few days you just know how much to add of each for the perfect temperature. Same thing if we left the house, flask full of hot water and a bottle of filtered cold in the bag. Basically a rapid cool method without the faff.

There is a thread running at about how parenting today is more stressful than it used to be. This thread is a perfect example.
All these fussy rules to mitigate a microscopic risk and/or promote something that will have a minimal effect on your child.
They must be suggested in isolation of real life because I cannot believe anyone with any sense would imagine this was a sensible way to carry on with a hungry baby.
What the hell in skin-to-skin? Is that the latest fad that mothers are told their baby will evaporate without? I would ditch that for a start.
Make your bottles up in one go, stick them in the fridge and heat in the microwave as pps have said.
Do you have a dishwasher? My midwife told me the dishwasher is perfect for sterilising bottles but they were not allowed to say thar.
I honestly wonder what advice 'experts' will come up with next to make like as difficult as possible for new parents.

In my day (over 35 years ago) I used to make up 6 bottles in the morning, cool and them keep in fridge for the next 24 hours and warm up using a little bottle warmer gadget when needed. In the morning I washed the 6 bottles from the previous day and changed the sterilising solution in the container. Yes we had a lot of bottles, I remember the chores! None of my kids ever had any tummy issues, but looking back I wish I had tried breast feeding it would have been easier but it was not the done thing back then, most mothers FF, I only know one women who BF and she was seen as some kind of hippy type, funny how views change. Also never did skin to skin, had never heard of it, just fed baby, winded, changed nappy and settle back to sleep

My first baby I combi fed (he's 8 soon) and I would pre make bottles night before for the day, then heat in boiling water in a bowl for like 2 minutes or so ☺️ didn't realise it wasn't recommended

That sounds really rough going.

We mixed fed in the early days too as bf was so painful. We splashed out on the readymade formula though. I was also expressing milk and I have no idea how we'd have also fit in preparing powdered formula.

Who diagnosed the low milk supply? There's often a lot misinformation, lack of understanding of breastfeeding and poor guidance given out by midwives and HVs when it comes to breastfeeding...

My babies were mixed fed but I skipped the pumping and just had boob daytime as much as I could and formula night time. I tried the pumping maybe 2-3 times and all the faff for hardly any milk was exhausting.

I did buy the ready made, as they kept being constipated so I wa clearly doing something wrong.

good luck op some great advice on here

Combi feeding like that is brutal. Yes, during the night either use ready made or premake it and cool it.

Or at the very least- make up the formula before you offer the breast so it is cooler by the time you need it.

I became fixated on breast feeding and combi fed for months. Finally a few weeks before she was 6 months got her off the formula top ups and I was so proud of myself- months of being sleep deprived had paid off. I had been really miserable. If I could go back and give advice it would be to remind myself that fed is best and not to run myself into the ground. Keep trying if you like, you are doing really well. But also give yourself permission not to if you prefer. When the baby is 12 no one will know or care how she was fed. It is all consuming in those fast few months, but you are doing your best.

Also if your DP is home one night take advantage. I would NEVER skip a night feed. If she slept in I set my alarm and expressed as I didn't want to lose my supply. A lovely older midwife said - "no one ever lost their supply missing one night feed". So just once, feed your baby and then go to bed and get someone else to do the night (or if no one available then just give a bottle and no breast and go back to sleep). She was right. One stretch of sleep, after weeks of broken sleep, made all the difference. I felt like a new person. Or sleep all day when your DP is off work. Really be kind to yourself, it will all work out in the end.

Totally agree about the skin to skin. It’s a load of rubbish. In the hospital with my first, I was struggling to breastfeed and they kept stripping him off and me and making him cry and putting him on me to ‘stimulate’ him to breastfeed. It was so utterly cruel to my poor baby, anyone with a brain cell can see that. So the next day I asked for formula and never looked back. My poor baby was so distressed by the breastfeeding/skin to skin obsession.