Help a knackered ftm: formula the old-fashioned way

[Pessimist]

I have low breast milk supply so am having to use formula for feeding my newborn. The feeding plan is brutal and goes something like this:

1. strip baby to nappy (+ change if dirty) for skin-to-skin (3 mins)
2. boil kettle for formula
3. offer both breasts to baby (10 mins)
4. make up formula using 10-minute boiled water from kettle so it's hot but hasn't stripped all the nutrients, hopefully (2 mins)
5. console screaming baby while trying to cool the formula (150 years)
6. feed baby with lots of wind breaks (20 minutes)
7. pray baby sleeps and wash bottles for steriliser (2 mins)
8. settle baby so I can use the double pump (20 mins)
9. pump to encourage supply even though I probably have IGT (20 mins)

repeat every three hours. Try not to fall asleep standing up/while burping. Pray baby doesn't stay awake between breast and bottle cooling.

I'm broken. I'm terrified to use the perfect prep machine - my brother's baby was very poorly after an issue with theirs. I don't have the money for fancy gadgets like the rapidcool. My mum's telling me to pre-make the formula and put in the fridge and reheat, but 31 years later questions whether the warming up is safe and we know from hard-won experience that baby doesn't take cold milk.

I don't have family nearby and my husband has gone back to work today. I'm really struggling and need sleep. I set alarms to make sure baby gets fed every three hours and either the whole thing takes that long with settling, or I sleep through the alarms. By the time baby is awake, it's taking too long for my milk and the formula. I don't know how anyone does this 8 times a day.

I firmly believe the guidelines for formula aim to make it look as complicated and impossible as possible to prevent parents from attempting it.

it says to boil the water, make up the formula after 30 mins, and then cool the bottle and feed to baby. If I did it like that my baby would’ve been screaming for over half an hour and the water would still be scalding hot. How on Earth are you supposed to cool it down in time?

I never thought of that.
I am unsure what these updated rules are trying to prevent exactly? Is there any evidence of a much heightened risk to babies whose bottles were made in advance?

Completely agree. Always made up 6 bottles at a time and put in the fridge. Took out an hour before feed and left on the side to warm up naturally. Used a steriliser until 6 months but not after 6 months. Never woke a sleeping baby to feed or change for that matter. Let sleeping babies lie! Skin to skin, no idea.

So the way I was taught to do this a few years ago is 1. Boil kettle , 2. Poor a shot of boiling water into the powder to sterilise it (it makes a thickish liquid) 3. Add cold water (we did tap but you could have a big jug of cooled boiled water in the fridge) up to the right line on the bottle. 4. Shake to combine. 5. test temperature but it should be warm (not hot) with no waiting

It takes a bit of trial and error to get the right temp mix so the bottle comes up warm, BUT the boiling water sterilises the formula, so it’s basically what a perfect prep bottle does without the faff.

We would pre-measure the powder into several bottles every day so we’d only have to do the boiling water shot / swill / add cold water, which takes only a minute.

Those early days are tough. Pre-made is also fab if you can afford it. You can get through this.

I'm not against breastfeeding in any way and breastfed mine but this sounds too much, you are doing three times the work of either breastfeeding or formula feeding and trying to care for a newborn's other needs. If I was you I would switch to formula, get the ready made kind and reconsider the perfect prep machine if you want to use powdered formula. They used to not be recommended but have been around ten years and I thought health visitors say they're OK now.

That sounds really tough.
It's up to you obviously and I know the guidelines have changed but I always made up 6 bottles in advance and my three dc (now teens) never had any problems. The method you describe seems completely impractical. If you don't want to make bottles in advance I would use ready made formula.

Formula kettle https://amzn.eu/d/2CLDopy

See if you can get one second hand on marketplace or something. Also get some little pots and measure out formula for the day in one go.

You can make the bottle and put in cold water while you BF then it will be ready to go.

Also agree with others about looking after yourself. Feeding three times is hard work!

I did the same -back of th fridge to keep away from any temp fluctuations due to the door opening. They’re 28 and 23 and very much alive!!

Remember fed is best-be kind to yourself x

I agree with pp, pumping is a bitch. Takes up all your time. It’s not as effective at stimulating supply either, so IMO it’s pointless as well.

i’d either make peace with formula feeding, or ditch the pumping and bf as much as you can. Keep them at the breast as much as they will stand- I found it a bit painful to unlatch so I just sat on the sofa with them latched and they’d happily stay there dozing and feeding/using me as a dummy. I do think that helped supply- I had no help or advice beyond “give formula” so went with what caused less pain and less crying, which was letting them feed almost constantly.

remember night feeds are crucial for supply due to them stimulating hormones that increase milk production. So if you can avoid ff at night…

in the end you need to do what works for you.

How old is the newborn, we had to strip my daughter down for feeds but by 3 weeks she was awake enough most of the time so it dropped to occasionally needing to strip her down, the first week it was every feed!

We mimicked the perfect prep with the kettle and did a hot shot of recently boiled water (no more than 30 minutes) then topped up with cooled boiled water set aside after the last time the kettle was boiled. Just under 50% boiled water worked for us (2oz boiled to 3oz cooled for a 5oz bottle for example).

You could also make up a couple of bottles immediately after a feed so they are cooling whilst baby is satisfied from the last feed. NHS guidance states a bottle is fine for 24h in a fridge, 4h in cool box with ice pack and 2h at room temperature.

Skin to skin doesn't need to be full skin to skin. It has always soothed my daughter even aged 5 she strokes my arms is stressed or upset. After the first few days skin to skin for us her in a short sleeved vests and me with my arms and sometimes stomach available for her to touch

I also combined breastfeeding with formula & I always pre-made bottles in the morning, put them in the fridge & reheated throughout the day. This was over 10 years ago but my midwife said to do this as at the time this was how babies were fed in hospitals. No issues whatsoever, DC was & always has been the picture of heath.

I’ve done two different things with my two, tbh both of these made my life considerably easier so I would recommend either option depending on which would better suit you financially:

First child - all bottles pre made first thing in the morning and then stored in the fridge for 24 hours. For each feed we’d just grab one out the fridge and heat it up for 6 minutes in the Tommy Tippee bottle warmer.

Second child who is still a newborn - we invested in a perfect prep machine and it has completely changed our life! We now also have a 19 month old toddler so things are a lot more chaotic than when our first was born and this has been a game changer, we got one of Amazon Prime Day which was reduced to £130 and then did you know if you create a Baby Registry wish list on Amazon you get 15% off virtually all baby products? So we ended up getting it for £110 and it’s bloody amazing, makes bottles from scratch start to finish in under a minute at the perfect temperature. As a pp said I think the new models are completely safe to use, our 10 day old girl has had no issues whatsoever

Granted my babies are almost 14 and 12, but i used to make 9 bottles up the night before, with boiled water, then chuck them all in icy water in the sink to cool. Then warm them up as we needed them.

I know the advice has changed. But we never had any issues doing it that way. I would have gone insane making a bottle up a time with a screaming baby.

You’re bringing back (repressed) memories of when DS was a newborn and I did similar. It was awful and I swore I’d never do it again. But also I was consumed with guilt about failing to breastfeed

We used the ready made milk.

I persevered with that routine for 6 weeks and was so glad to stop with the expressing. DS was mix fed til about 4 months and then we moved to fully formula. He’s 10 now.

(My DD is 2 years younger and she was breast fed. It was still a bit of a mission in the start, but it did work out in the end. I was more relaxed about the process though)

If you don’t use ready made milk then make up the formula with a small amount of boiling water first to sterilise the powder and then add cold water to bring it to the right temperature. We did this, my kids were totally fine, and it just needs a bit of practice to get the right proportions.

Don’t ruin this time with your baby by driving yourself mad!

I feel for you, being a new parent is hard. You need to give yourself permission to change your routine to something that works for you. I am very old and none of the things you are trying to do were even thought of when my DC were babies. They grew up fine. Ditch the plan and the guilt. Work up the simplest solution you can to keep your baby fed and yourself sane.

I think there’s probably a miniscule risk of bacteria in the bottle if they are made up in advance. Although I’m not sure how, as the bottle is sterile, water is boiled and they’re kept in the fridge 💀

Exactly. I reckon it was all a plot from Tommee Tippee to get people to buy the prep machines

I'm with your mother.

All bottles washed and sterilised, ignoring protests from baby as necessary. Then I used to make up enough bottles for 24 hours the night before, cool them quickly and store in the fridge until needed. It was usually 8 bottles.

When needed I would warm them for a minute (or less sometimes) in the microwave, give a good shake and then feed to baby. We never had any issues doing that. My three are all healthy adults now and the youngest is 23.

As someone who worked in a lab using aseptic technique, bottles aren’t “sterile”. Yes they will have significantly lower bacterial load but you would be surprised at how it can grow quickly, even just from air/skin exposure.

in my early newborn days I spent half an hour crying in front of the steriliser knowing when I took the lid off it would be exposed to air and no longer be sterile. And then I’d have to touch it to put the bottle/pump back together, contaminating it further.

i ditched the pumping after that and just bf.

but then my mum would comment in the 70’s they were taught breastfeeding was unhygienic, and bottles were better as you could “sterilise” them properly.

Sterilising is in case you miss any milk residue during washing because leftover milk can grow some really nasty bacteria. The intention is not for the bottle itself to be sterile.

Hot water used for making the bottles is in case there’s bacteria in the milk powder but this would be due to an error in manufacturing and it’s so rare that most other western countries e.g. USA, France, Australia etc. don’t give this advice for healthy full term babies and the typical way to make bottles would be with pre cooled boiled water or baby safe bottled water.

I get the NHS is giving you the advice to make it as safe as possible, very much ‘belt and braces’ but they go too far when they suggest using either only ready made (too expensive for most people to use for every feed and often harder to source) or the complete contradiction of feed on demand whilst also making every bottle from scratch. Feeding baby needs to be practical, quick and easy- that’s where preparing in advance or using a prep machine comes in.

Yes! We have two of these. Absolute life savers!

What the hell in skin-to-skin? Is that the latest fad that mothers are told their baby will evaporate without? I would ditch that for a start.
This. I had 4 children never did this ever.

I don’t recommend the prep machine myself as I used it when DD was born and it hurt her belly, gave her colic. I recommend the nuby rapid cool, I’ve used it ever since I stopped using the prep machine and it’s a life saver I left it with my DM once overnight and really struggled with cooling the bottles myself. The rapid cool you can either pour the milk right into it and tip it up for a minute or two and it cools it, although you have to wash and sterilise it after every use this time which is a faff. I use the hot shot method, pour the water into the bottle (however many oz you need) pour the water from there into the rapid cool, leaving an ounce or two in the bottle so you can add the milk powder to that and then mix in the cool water from the rapid cool, takes under 3 minutes for the whole process, once you get the hang of it it’s so easy.

Oh OP I was you for 12 weeks and my mental heath was in the toilet. I was forced to give up trying to bf and pumping when I was diagnosed with breast cancer (no wonder the bloody things didn’t work!) and the absolute game changer for us was the Nuby Rapidcool, they aren’t expensive in comparison to a perfect prep and we had two so had one ready when the sensor from the other was cooling down. Honestly one of the best things we bought, all bottles made fresh and easy to clean. Sending lots of love, triple feeding is brutal ❤️

Skin to skin isn’t “the latest fad” in any way. It was a thing when I had my babies over 20 years ago.

it’s been shown to help babies regulate their temperature, heart rate and breathing- so it has measurable benefits. It also stimulates feeding and hormone release.

it’s invaluable with premature babies.

much the same as looking at a picture of your baby while you express makes it easier to pump.

maybe check your facts before dismissing something as a fad.