Sleepover bedwettimg

[pollytunnelanna]

How is this dealt with?

My dsd is having her first sleepover for her 8th birthday with a group of girls from school. Next weekend. Invitations were dealt with by DP but one of the girls mums reached out to me specifically to explain her dd wanted to come but wasn’t dry at night and asked if I could discreetly help her sort her self out in the evening and morning so the other girls don’t find out.

My dc are under 2 and DSD has never had accidents since we met so I have no experience dealing with this or sleepovers in general.

Aside from putting her in a room on her I don’t know how reliably I can make sure none of the other girls find out, they’re all going to sleep down stairs in the playroom and I won’t be around. I also don’t understand the logistics of getting helping her get sort herself out, I’ve only briefly met her once and the other girls are going to be suspicious if I take her off on her own.

I think if it was just a matter of pointing out the bin, the mother would have messaged the party organiser ie the birthday girl’s father

the fact she went to considerable length to get the birthday girl’s step mother’s number, that she doesn’t know, would indicate it will be more involved

don’t you think?

And this one

Yes, same. Not an easy experience so not sent on sleepovers. Still my same argument.

I don't think there's anything in OP being sought out other than the parent being more comfortable with another woman checking on her DD's nighttime arrangements.

its great you have so much experience in bed wetting and pull ups and in your shoes, I’d message back “sure bring it on. She doesn’t even to bring a pull up, as I have loads in stock!)

but the op doesn’t have any
and the mother hasn’t been at all clear what she means
aside from going to considerable lengths to get a woman’s number rather than contact the party organiser, a father

The mother needs to be clear then if it’s just a matter of pointing out a bin

Ah well, by all means carry on thinking the worst. Seems a bizarrely paranoid way to carry on to me rather than taking the assumption it's not a big deal otherwise the child either wouldn't be sent in the first place or would come with far lengthier instruction.

Seems far less likely that the child's parent is an irresponsible areshole but I guess she might be.

she should have been clear with what she expects the op to do

we’re not all veterans like you. I’ve never even bought a pull up and have squat all idea how much volume they take and whether they’re liable to leak and whether a child would need to change in the night etc

and I have no desire to! 😆

op, just
suggest to do he drops her a line to ask how he can help

Even OP has said she thinks the practicality of it is just checking she has it on and showing her the bin. She's said all she's worried about is that she need to keep it a secret and that that will be difficult. OP hasn't suggested she thinks an actual wet bed is a likely eventuality.

But since dp is the actual parent of the birthday child and the one organising the sleepover and sending invites he will be checking on all the girls nighttime arrangements anyway, that they’ve got their pyjama's on and have been to the toilet etc.

@pollytunnelannait is young. I would only do this with children / parents I really knew on either side of the equation TBH. felt uncomfortable dealing with this exact situation, but I would prefer to feel uncomfortable and the child is able to attend the sleepover then the alternative.

In my case I said to all the children that everyone goes into my bedroom to get dressed individually, he was meant to put a pull-up on in there. The child I was minding refused, so we called the mum and she explained he had to wear it. Then before bed I showed him where the bin was. The child will need good pj’s that will cover the extra padded look. I found it difficult to manage because he was overwhelmed with the prospect of being found out. I hated seeing him uncomfortable.

If I was you I would make sure you have spare pull ups in case she takes it off and make sure a parent will talk to her if she refuses.

Exactly

so will you ask DP to drop her a line?

Our DD aged 8 went on a school residential and all were made aware beforehand there would be some who bedwet. It’s no big deal. Provide a time for each to use the bathroom and a bin to spare any blushes. Think no more of it.

No not specifically because that feels unnecessarily rude.

But Dp will send a general message to all parents in the week and I will explain that i will do what I can but but will be looking after my toddler and baby so dp will be in charge of the sleepover so will have to make him aware.

Good idea

We had this with a Brownie on a residential once. We had to make sure she took medication at the correct time. Then we had to help her into a nappy, away from the other girls so they didn’t see. In the morning took her away from the other girls and gave her wet wipes to clean herself with and make sure she used the toilet. She still slept in a room with the others. If you aren’t sure clarify with the Mum.

And there wasn’t any teasing from that?

DSD is a kind quiet little girl but I can imagine if she found out there would at least be some giggling if anything because it would make her uncomfortable. For children like her who have been out of nappies for years I don’t think she would have any reason to think that some of her friends wouldn’t be.

There was absolutely no teasing. No one knew who bed-wetted nor did they find out. The adults presented it as part and parcel of life which the children accepted. In fact her younger brother hasn’t yet come out of pull ups so it’s no big deal for her. He’s not unique. Our DD was more concerned with the fun, being in a group and staying up late chatting. It really is no big deal OP. All you need to do is provide a receptacle for the pull up.

I wonder whether the mother would have accepted the invite if your DP didn’t live with you OP ie he would be hosting alone