Sleepover bedwettimg

[pollytunnelanna]

How is this dealt with?

My dsd is having her first sleepover for her 8th birthday with a group of girls from school. Next weekend. Invitations were dealt with by DP but one of the girls mums reached out to me specifically to explain her dd wanted to come but wasn’t dry at night and asked if I could discreetly help her sort her self out in the evening and morning so the other girls don’t find out.

My dc are under 2 and DSD has never had accidents since we met so I have no experience dealing with this or sleepovers in general.

Aside from putting her in a room on her I don’t know how reliably I can make sure none of the other girls find out, they’re all going to sleep down stairs in the playroom and I won’t be around. I also don’t understand the logistics of getting helping her get sort herself out, I’ve only briefly met her once and the other girls are going to be suspicious if I take her off on her own.

Have you actually met these girls op? Does dsd live with you?

By 'help sort her out' I'm assuming she means a pull up full of urine, so yes that is bodily fluids. I wouldn't be keen to do that for anyone outside of my immediate family. It's too much to ask of another parent.

Neither of my children were betwetters but won't it stink? Won't the bulky wet pull up be a give away in the morning? I wouldn't want to risk someone wetting my mattress or couch. At their age I imagine it's much more fluid than a toddler in nappy.

My friend's 10yr old still wets the bed and she needs to take extra bedding and pads when she goes away, she says at his age a pull up doesn't contain it all and everything ends up soaked, she's constantly washing bedding. She doesn't send him for sleepovers because that's not fair on him or the host.

I think just need to pick up the phone to the girl's mother and ask her to be specific and come up with a plan together.

I don't think 8 is too young - I'd been on Brownie camp for a week at 8 - but I think it is young to be going where you don't know each other's parents well enough to have had this conversation in person or on the telephone.

The sleepover may do her the world of good in terms of actually getting it sorted. My nephew finally got dry at night by grandparents intervening with sleepovers at theirs and telling him enough was enough, waking him up before they went to bed for a loo trip and making clear that he needed to get up and use the toilet.

I’ve only met this particular girl briefly.

She lives here when she’s with her dad which is a lot of the time, why is that relevant though?

50:50?

the girls have all been over beforehand?

Does she wear pull ups? Does the mum just want you to discreetly dispose of it in the morning?
I’m confused.

My DD is almost 9 and still wets the bed. She hasn’t been in sleepovers but has been on school residentials since year 2. She’s worn pull ups. None of her friends have noticed - she wears quite baggy pyjamas.

Are the girls bringing their own sleeping bags?

i would suggest 1) avoid blackcurrant squash 2) send the girls in 1 at a time to change morning/evening 3) encourage them to have a wee before they go to sleep 4) tell her quietly where to put the wet pull up

I think the mum is just trying to suggest being discreet and allowing her to change on her own.

Surely an 8 yr old can deal with it herself? I’m assuming she wears some kind of pull up? If so, I’d say to the mum that she (the mum) can hand that to me separately and I’ll put it in the bathroom cabinet for the girl to retrieve and put on when she goes to the loo before bed. And then she can take it off and put it in the bathroom bin in the morning.

If she requires more help than that, I don’t think she’s ready for sleepovers.

My DS has a friend who is 9 and still bedwets. I don't make an issue out of it and discreetly took him to the bathroom to put on a nappy before bed and in the morning took him again to take it off. I waited outside the bathroom but ensured it was on and he was comfortable.

Don't make an issue out of it, it happens.

And father. Let’s not blame the women on a woman’s forum.

I’d not want the responsibility preventing the other girls finding out. I’d probably suggest the girl stays properly late, gets into pyjamas etc, and says she’s busy the next day.

So how I'd deal with it is get the girls to get into the PJ's one at a time in the bathroom/in separate rooms. That way the girl can put on her pull up discreetly. Rather than all getting changed in the bedroom together.

Have you a lidded bin in the bathroom? If so she can just put her pull up in there on the morning.

We can play the PC game
or we can accept on the balance of probabilities it is very reasonable to presume that it will be mothers accepting or declining party invites

I think the sleepover itself is fine - ds started sleepovers (including a cubs camp) at 8.

If the mum is asking about her daughter being sorted out wrt pull-ups, I don't see the issue. That can be managed easily and discreetly enough. You just chaperone her into a bathroom by herself to put them on before her pyjamas at night and then the same again to remove them in the morning before she gets dressed? I'm sure at 8yo, she can undress and dress herself?

Kid should just be coming for the evening and going home at bedtime if she’s still wetting at night

The mother sent the text requesting OP to deal with it. Stop trying so hard, not everything needs to revolve around feminism.

But the DP sent the invites and is organising the sleepover, so why separately go out of her way to contact the step-Mum. Oh yeah because it's seen as woman's job to deal with the pissy pull ups.

The DP sent the invites

OP…. How much and what “organising” has he done to prepare since then?

I’m thinking that the mum means letting the dd store her nighttime pull-ups in the bathroom and giving her an opportunity to change into them at night and giving her somewhere to put the used one in in the morning, maybe a plastic bag for wrapping and access to a bin.

What are you on about? there’s really not much organising that needs to happen a week in advance except replying to messages.

Hi OP -
my DC had a few sleepovers over at mine with a friend -
the mum spoke to me about bedwetting, I found it easy to manage - the child knew to pop a pull up on an bedtime in the loo, in the morning I discretely disposed of it, no problem and the kids had many great sleepovers -
don’t exclude the child for a condition they can’t control

obviously we have a bathroom and a bin and I expect it’s as simple of making sure she knows where they are and has a excuse to go and get changed on her own.
it’s the expectation of making sure no one else finds out I’m concerned about.

What a crock of shit, telling a child enough is enough doesn't sort out bedwetting.

For most children it's not a behaviour and definitely shouldn't be a punishable offence, people suggesting they don't go to sleepovers til they're dry that's punishing the child.

How about we educate other children to be more accepting of kids that aren't dry at night yet? It's not something to be embarrassed about and is totally normal.

Glad my son's friends and their parents aren't judgy arseholes.

OP you'll be fine I hope they all enjoy the sleepover.

😂😂Can' delete these glitchy emojis.

So he’ll be setting up the beds, getting the food in, organising a film and maybe same games (they’re 7 and 8), getting them sorted for bed, making sure they’ve all gone for a wee, brushed teeth etc up in the night )at this age, they’ll be tears at one point). Sort them out in the morning, breakfast for them etc

nah, i thought not

is it 50/50? Has he hosted sleepovers before?

What are you on about?

did anyone say to say to the child “enough is
enoigh”?