How not to cry at school events

[justmadabouttheboy]

I've just thoroughly embarrassed my son - I held it together until the end of the event but by the end I was was in floods...of happiness that he's done so well, and that's after a few very difficult years of me divorcing his abusive father, and then moving house and school.

I would love to be able to hold it together better...does anyone have any techniques they can recommend please?

Imagine you are in bed with Donald Trump.

If I start singing “One more step along the road I go…” will everyone on here cry?

No advice unfortunately OP, just sympathies, as I am the same. What's worse is I work in a school and even well up when it's not my own kids performing!

@CurlewKate How did you know exactly what button to push to get the waterworks started??

DS1 is moving to senior school in Sept - there will be a chapel service at his current school the end of term where he's been since year 2 and they will sing that hymn and now I am getting emotional about it, damn you!!

But that would surely also generate floods of tears and terror at the grotesqueness of the sitch surely?

PS I have never found a solution to this problem of crying at school. I wear sunglasses, let the tears slide silently into a hanky casually held against my cheek, and pretend I'm very interested in something out the window.

I do thank my lucky stars that I cry when I'm happy-emotional and not when I'm angry or upset at work though.

Let it flow. I’m surprised nobody called a doctor at my DC’s year 6 leaver’s assemblies. It was like Diana had died again.

Holy FUCK

I tune out and re watch my favourite comedy show in my head

Are you crying noisily? If not, will anyone notice?
If noisy, try to make sure you're breathing deeply well before the tears start coming.

Aww, we all do it! When my son's year moved from infants to juniors they ran a video of them over the years - first day to last day set to music. I'm actually tearing up now just thinking about it. There were plenty of mascara streaked faces at the end 😭

Don't wear makeup, have tissues at the ready, breathe and let the tears stream. Don't try and stop them or you run the risk of big hiccup-y sobs breaking through!

I’m exactly the same. Can’t do anything about it. My kids just tease me about it now.

I would say let it flow. I was the mum who cried when I took my children to the school uniform shop when they started school, I’ve yet to get through a parent’s evening without crying - good tears as the teachers say such lovely things about them, I cry at every memory making event. My kids know what I’m like and they don’t mind so I will continue.

Are you crying noisily? If not, will anyone notice?
If noisy, try to make sure you're breathing deeply well before the tears start coming.

My kids are now at Secondary School so there are far fewer oppurtunities for crying I find. Primary School was tricky though - I cried at most events and just used to wear sunglasses and take tissues. I found that the more I worried about it happening the worse it got!

One more step along the world I go... 😭 got a lump in my throat already.
It's fine, honestly, bit embarrassing but better than not caring (not saying if you don't cry you don't care of course)

I also cried at a primary school event after leaving my ds’s abusive dad.. totally get it.

I'm the same, church services too and I'm not a bit religious. Physical things work for me - I bite the side of my tongue, or dig my nails into my palms or the cuticles of the other hand. Sounds bonkers ans maybe it is but it stops me crying and feeling embarrassed.

My youngest leaves primary school next month so there will be tears from me.

Years ago when I was at school the 6th formers all had to do something helpful at the school for about an hour a week, there were different options. I picked listening to the year 7's who had SEN read. Years later my sister got a prize at school and asked me and dh to come. So we did and the little boy i had sat with while he read to me for 15 minutes 4 times a week was now in 6th form getting a prize for English. I was just so proud of him i burst into tears!

My eldest is going to university in September and I'll probably cry. I'm so worried that he is going to be upset or feel guilty or something if i cry. I want him to have that opportunity and he is going to love it but this time with me, dh and the dc all living here together is ending and i just wish we had more time.

DS's is early next week. I can pretend that they are tears of sweat 🌞😓

My son is leaving first school this year and they’re singing both Blackbird by the Beatles and We are the champions by Queen. We’ve had a rough few years too and I’m going to be an absolute wreck as I’m so proud of what he’s achieved. Luckily he just finds it funny!

I used to have to play the ‘Alphabet Game’ with myself otherwise I was a total mess at school events, and not just when it was my own DC on stage or singing. Anything remotely sentimental set me off so I try not to overthink it.

I’d be sitting in the hall watching the Nativity and in my head I’d be going ‘A is for Mrs Alison, B is for Bethlehem, C is for classroom, D is for Donkey…’

For what it’s worth I don’t think a few tears of pride are a problem and it’s no bad thing to model that for the DC.
Obviously ugly loud sobbing isn’t ideal though, I get you! My trick if I don’t want the tears to overflow is to press my nails into my fingertips of the same hand, hard enough to cause a little pain. It’s distracting enough to stop the tears and also quite subtle so people don’t notice. I use this technique at funerals, especially if I’m doing a reading of something.

Me too. Y6 production rehearsals today. 😭

Oops “world” of course!