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Original poster

How not to cry at school events

51 replies

justmadabouttheboy · 27/06/2025 13:25

I've just thoroughly embarrassed my son - I held it together until the end of the event but by the end I was was in floods...of happiness that he's done so well, and that's after a few very difficult years of me divorcing his abusive father, and then moving house and school.

I would love to be able to hold it together better...does anyone have any techniques they can recommend please?

OP posts:
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Set a reminder
TheignT · 27/06/2025 14:53

Iamtarticus · 27/06/2025 13:28

Imagine you are in bed with Donald Trump.

I'm not sure if vomitting in front of everyone would help. Maybe that's just me.

boredwithfoodprob · 27/06/2025 14:58

Just children singing sets me off, it doesn’t even need to be my child! I have to keep swallowing down the lump in my throat! 😆🫠

EasternStandard · 27/06/2025 15:03

Take a tissue. I always shed a tear at dc singing. In a good way.

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CremeEggThief · 27/06/2025 15:06

Never understood this attitude and I only have one DC! 😆
Never cry at sad tv or films either tbf.

TeenToTwenties · 27/06/2025 15:09

I very nearly cried at DD's college leaving certificates event earlier this week.
It has been a long road for her since 2020.

Mind you I cry at anything these days, happy films & sad films.

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 27/06/2025 15:13

I have a black cynical heart, and very rarely cry in public.
But, man alive, I was breaking my heart during my son’s Y6 leavers assembly. 😭
I’m getting choked up now just thinking about it.

friendsromans · 27/06/2025 16:00

THIS IS FAILSAFE!!!! Watch it through your phone as you video. Not even joking. My miracle child (only one after loooooong struggle with infertility) played a guitar solo of Hallelujah at her primary leavers event. Normally, I’d have needed medical help for the sobbing, but watched her through my phone as I filmed. Perfect. Still totes Amish, but no tears. Mum I barely knew sitting beside my was broken - not even her child!!!!

friendsromans · 27/06/2025 16:00

Emosh

Xiaoxiong · 27/06/2025 17:26

One of the Year 5's at DS's school talent show this year who has a lovely treble voice sang "slipping through my fingers" by ABBA. It was absolute carnage - I thought it was just me until my friend sitting to my right gave a bit of a shuddering heave and a blub and it set me off again. We didn't even know the kid, our sons were not even in the same year group as him!

Xiaoxiong · 27/06/2025 17:28

@friendsromans I don't even think watching through your phone would have protected you from that one!

Vickim03 · 27/06/2025 17:46

I cried when I waved my daughter off to year 6 camp! I didn’t when she went in year 4…. Think it was the realisation that this was the beginning of the end of primary for and us and she’s the youngest. Goodness knows how I’ll be on her last day! Don’t worry, it shows you care and sounds like it’s been a tough few years for you both
kids singing also sets me off! What ever age

movehimintothesun · 27/06/2025 18:01

Notreallyme27 · 27/06/2025 13:38

Let it flow. I’m surprised nobody called a doctor at my DC’s year 6 leaver’s assemblies. It was like Diana had died again.

😂😂 very relatable comment!

I’m a massive crier OP, so my first reaction is just to lean into it and enjoy the oxytocin; but if you really want to try and not cry, one thing that can help is pushing your tongue hard against your top teeth? (Or I can also recommend Hypnotherapy, which I had to stop me sobbing all the way down the aisle when I got married!) 😭

marmitegirl01 · 27/06/2025 19:00

I’m was the same. I remember my youngest was in year 4 and there was singing. I always teared up when the whole class or school sang together. So there they were all singing. I had a little cry and I saw my daughter mouth to the boy next to her “oh god my mum’s crying again” 🫣😭🤣
she’s off to uni in September- there’s no hope 🤣

alexalisten · 27/06/2025 19:01

No advice im the same

TomatoSandwiches · 27/06/2025 19:02

Try thinking of the Sistine Chapel 💐

Wineinthegarden · 27/06/2025 19:17

I can get through most things but tiny voices singing Little Donkey and I am a puddle of tears.

Peelgirl76 · 27/06/2025 19:38

At our youngest son’s (2 sibs) yr 13 leavers’ evening, the school screened a fantastic montage of photos of them all from Yr 7 upwards, and snippets they’d written in their yearbook. The gasps of delight in the audience as we all spotted our DCs…. Then for the finale montage they played Take That’s ‘Never Forget’ - JFC we all lost it big style 😭😭😂!!! He’s 32 next month, but every time I hear that song on the radio I’m a blubbering mess 🤣!! “Someday soon, this will all be someone else’s dream” waaaah 😭😭😭!!

DrCoconut · 27/06/2025 20:10

I had one more step at my DS's Christening. It was a big celebration that my abusive ex had banned and I arranged it once I'd got settled after leaving him. The words were just so fitting. It's still 😭 now.

herethereandeverywhatnow · 27/06/2025 20:12

Notreallyme27 · 27/06/2025 13:38

Let it flow. I’m surprised nobody called a doctor at my DC’s year 6 leaver’s assemblies. It was like Diana had died again.

This was me when saying goodbye to my DS’s amazing pre-school teacher a few years ago as she was leaving the school… to be fair to me she was very young, very sweet and bawling her eyes out, and the sight of her crying so much just made me cry harder!!

Meredusoleil · 27/06/2025 22:29

Peelgirl76 · 27/06/2025 19:38

At our youngest son’s (2 sibs) yr 13 leavers’ evening, the school screened a fantastic montage of photos of them all from Yr 7 upwards, and snippets they’d written in their yearbook. The gasps of delight in the audience as we all spotted our DCs…. Then for the finale montage they played Take That’s ‘Never Forget’ - JFC we all lost it big style 😭😭😂!!! He’s 32 next month, but every time I hear that song on the radio I’m a blubbering mess 🤣!! “Someday soon, this will all be someone else’s dream” waaaah 😭😭😭!!

We had that song for my dd1's Y6 leavers song during Covid. Still can't listen to it now without choking up!

Original poster
justmadabouttheboy · 28/06/2025 10:29

Thank you everyone, you have made me feel much better...I'd kept myself in check through several emotional songs but my son happily belting out the last one, with a shy grin to his mate stood next to him, was too much...

I will just own it as you have all said, mum pride is off the scale so I doubt I'll be able to prevent it anyway...will take sunglasses and more tissues next year though!!

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 28/06/2025 16:45

I was an Early Years teacher for 30 years and Away in a Manger made me well up every Christmas. The year 6 leaver's assembly used to have some tearful moments too.

Bumdrops · 28/06/2025 16:50

Honestly, have a good cry and enjoy it !
I don’t know why, maybe years of working in NHS have hardened me 😂 but I often would sit through these school events surrounded by the tearful parents, thinking what’s wrong with me ?? Why are my eyes dry ???

ActualAl · 29/06/2025 00:46

This was the leavers song that the children sang at their final assembly at the school I worked in and the one my children went to. Set me off every year!
As we go - BBC Teach https://share.google/Med9B9RwgRJ7zCp0L

As we go

Join in and sing with the vocal version of 'As we go' (All about our school, no 17) - one of the songs from the BBC Learning Assemblies / Collective Worship website.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/teach/school-radio/articles/zyn9r2p

Moveoverdarlin · 29/06/2025 00:55

When I went to my DC’s first Harvest Festival I couldn’t keep it together. He started school in 2020 after lockdown and it was touch and go whether they would be in school in the September or not. The plinky plonky of the school piano playing ‘Autumn Leaves’ just instantly sent me whooshing back to 1985 when I was in school. I struggled to have children and we had IVF and I just couldn’t believe I had my very own child singing the same song as I did 35 years before. I’m fine now and I smile but that first year was emosh.