I saw someone pointing fingers at my DD

[TheMaryClaire]

Hi Mums! I just want to get this off my chest and maybe get some advice from you all.

My daughter and I went to this restaurant (i don't want to mention the name) over the weekend and had some dinner there. Of course, as a child, my DD has a really short attention span, so after watching some videos, she started wandering around the restaurant hall and waving at all the people coming in.

Some people appreciate it and smile at her, so I just let her move around. Suddenly, a lady (around 50 yo) started stopping her and pointing a finger at her, saying that she should not be running around the restaurant.

While I know that she's right, I feel that it's not appropriate to point your fingers at someone else's child. I just apologise to her and walk away with my daughter in tow but I feel extremely uncomfortable in my heart.

What do you think?

If you don't want people pointing at your child, keep it sat at a table for dinner rather than wondering around annoying others. If I can have 5 daughters and keep them sat and behaving well pretty sure you can keep 1 child doing such.

Real children, absolutely.

Jury's out on this fictitious one though.

Other people kids are so annoying, keep her with you.

Less tolerant! Bloody right, why should we fork out good money in a restaurant to have our evening ruining by feral children whose parents believe their little prince’s and princess’s should be adored by one and all, and all because they can’t be arsed to teach them basic good manners in a public place.
Parent your kids and respect those who want to have an adult evening without kids pushing past our chairs and screaming their lungs out.

My two year old is very active and loves to "explore", however I would not let her get out of her seat in a restaurant.

She can look at a book or do some colouring when she isn't eating.

I don't want to be harsh, but it's not an appropriate environment for what your daughter was doing so you should have controlled her yourself. That way, the lady would not have pointed a finger at her and told her off

People smile at children simply because we can't really tell them to 'fuck of', doesn't mean we like it though but we are often aware enough to know its the parents fault not a small childs. Everyone was probably thinking 'where the mam and why is she sitting on her arse instead of getting her'.

I worked in hospitality for 25 years and even as a 20 something year old I'd use the pointy finger when kids were wandering unsupervised around bar or restaurant areas. I've seen many a near miss involving a loose child and a waiter/waitress or a swing door leading to the kitchens and I can guarantee the parents would have been up in arms had the child been hit by the door or had hot soup spilled on them.
For goodness sake please parent your child and teach them to stay in their seat!

I very much dislike the judgement one gets on here for having a phone screen on in a restaurant (if my DS didn't have that we would not be able to eat at restaurants at all. I also like to read a book when I am eating and don't want to be judged for using Kindle for this), But the child running (or wandering) around the restaurant is absolutely not on and you should have stopped it immediately. Why do you think your child has the right to disrupt the place and inconvenience and disturb people? Believe me, no-one "appreciated" it. And how does the woman's age have any bearing?

“After watching some videos” your daughters attention span might not be as short as you describe if you engaged with her at the table

What do you mean pointing? Just pointing or do you mean pointing and telling the child off?
Is this a reverse situation..are you the person who got angry at a child?
Granted I agree children should stay at the table.

I think she shouldn't be running around in a restaurant and have zero idea what the lady's age has to do with it

While I know that she's right

Yet here you are complaining on MN.

I would wave and smile at your daughter I am very fond of children
but I would think that you were an absolute gobshite who should eat at home

I agree with PP your daughter should not have been wondering around disturbing other people, getting under waiting staff's feet etc.

We had our own restaurant in a seaside town - families paid our bills & mortgage(s)! At lunchtimes we had a supply of crayons & printed activity sheets with something to colour in, wordsearches, 'did you know? interesting facts' or we would ask younger children to draw a picture of themselves on holiday with their family which we would display.

In the evenings (after 7pm) we deliberately changed the atmosphere, put down white table cloths, cloth napkins, candles on tables, dimmed the lights & stopped serving our children's menu. We wanted people who had arranged childcare, (possibly paid for someone to look after their children) to be able to enjoy a quiet meal without other people's children disturbing them. Although we didn't ban children, we had very few coming in at that time & then they were usually year 6 or secondary school age but we would be willing to dish up some chicken nuggets or pizza if really necessary - customers are customers after all. 🙄

edited for typo

Some people appreciate it and smile at her, so I just let her move around.

(If this post is genuine, which I highly doubt) No, they really don't appreciate it at all! Your child is a nuisance and people are far too polite to tell it to do one and go back to its table! And I wouldn't have been as polite as finger pointing either, I'd have come over and told you to parent your child!
This type of parenting is why the world is going to shit! Very few children now have manners and respect. And that's down to parents not showing them what's right or wrong and not being bothered about what they're up to! Get a grip OP!

Can’t stand it when people let their kids wander around restaurants though to be fair I’d probably point at you and comment on how crap you are rather than your child who hasn’t learned better. Unless said child approached me then I’d tell her to go away.

If your child was spoiling the experience for other diners or walking around eating then I would have been really cross.
Leave your child at home if they cannot behave.

I’m assuming your DC is toddler age - I agree it can be difficult to keep them in their seats, especially if it’s a long wait for food (generally school age children should have learnt to manage though).

Were you walking/standing right by your toddler to stop her bothering people while she was wandering? If so, then yes the lady was unreasonable to tell her off (finger pointing or not). If you weren’t right there to stop her annoying others though, then that’s a different matter… most people don’t appreciate the kids of strangers trying to interact with them while they are eating imo.

Your child shouldn't have been wandering around the restaurant annoying other diners.

This reads like something generated by AI. There's been loads of it lately and I don't really understand the point.

In a similar vein, I have a friend who works in a Jobcentre. She tells me that children are regularly allowed to run around, crawl under desks etc while mum sits with her nose glued to her phone.

One day a small child was running around, tripped, went smack into the edge of a desk (could have been a chair, I forget) & knocked 2 front teeth out. Highly distressing for the poor child!

Recently my friend went up to a parent to ask if she could get her child to sit down as it they were racing around, crawling under desks, climbing on furniture etc. The mother called to the child saying 'Come here 'Roger', obviously 3 year olds aren't allowed to behave like 3 year olds here!' My friend explained about another child knocking their teeth out & said that she would hate that to happen to 'Roger'. The mother didn't have a response.

Whatever happened to taking a book & settling down to read a story together while waiting?

What I think is that you're incredibly selfish to subject people who are trying to have a nice meal out to a disruptive toddler, and to subject a toddler to a restaurant environment which will be incredibly boring and/or dangerous for them.

This. You were wrong to let her wander about.

Not sure what you want from this thread.
You even said in your OP that she was right and you were wrong.

Are you fucking joking