I saw someone pointing fingers at my DD

[TheMaryClaire]

Hi Mums! I just want to get this off my chest and maybe get some advice from you all.

My daughter and I went to this restaurant (i don't want to mention the name) over the weekend and had some dinner there. Of course, as a child, my DD has a really short attention span, so after watching some videos, she started wandering around the restaurant hall and waving at all the people coming in.

Some people appreciate it and smile at her, so I just let her move around. Suddenly, a lady (around 50 yo) started stopping her and pointing a finger at her, saying that she should not be running around the restaurant.

While I know that she's right, I feel that it's not appropriate to point your fingers at someone else's child. I just apologise to her and walk away with my daughter in tow but I feel extremely uncomfortable in my heart.

What do you think?

Thank goodness for Ms Pointy Finger! If you hadn't have had the attention drawn to your dd at this point it's possible she could have had a collision with waiting staff carrying soup or hot drinks and that could have been a disaster all round.

At some point kids have to learn restaurant etiquette. Best to start them from the first visit.

I don't see many (any) 15, 25, 65 year olds wandering around restaurants because they're bored.

At what point do you think they learned it wasn't the right thing to do? At what point are you going to teach your DD that? If you let her do things now, you'll spend longer re-teaching her later.

I needed a laugh today.

Yet another time when I miss the laugh emoji - say it as it is user1473878824 😂😂

Both the screen and the walking around/bothering the other diners is unacceptable. But I feel you know that and it’s made up anyway

YABU.

It’s totally inappropriate to let your dd wander around a restaurant! Really lazy parenting. I’m not fussed about the finger-pointing. You’re focusing on the wrong thing.

Really OP?

OK so full disclosure, I run a pub so I work in hospitality. We have families in all the time.

For the love of christ, please, please don't let your DC walk/run or otherwise annoy customers.
Why would you think that was acceptable? You may think it's cute and some people may engage, but most are internally judging you.
From a hospitality perspective, children let loose without an adult supervising is a nightmare for us. There's food coming from the kitchen, trays of drinks or empty glass, in my pub there's a step up to an area which leads to the garden, and we have a double door to our car park that is currently open because it feels like it's 98 degrees inside. When your little cherub walks around while you sit at your table, you're putting your child and people working or sitting in the pub at risk of an accident - I've dropped glasses before because a kid tripped me over, it was either drop them on me or the child, and I cut myself to ribbons.

On Bank Holiday I had to stop two children fighting with cutlery, when I asked where their parents were they were in the garden nowhere near!

It's not cute, low attention span or not, parent your kid or don't go out for a meal until they're older.

👈

Totally. We took 3 children under the age of 5 to NZ to visit relatives - yes - we must've been bonkers! But we took goodie bags for them, plenty to keep them occupied that we could pull out of the bag when they started to get fractious we could say: 'Oh I think daddy/mummy has something in his/her bag that may interest you' DH (or me) would make a big (long) show of going through our bag & then reveal something to keep them occupied. We genuinely had no problems with them. People kept saying what good kids they were.

We took them to the opera when aged between 11 & nearly 7, admittedly it was The Magic Flute with lots of colour, animals etc, but there are dull bits. We half expected to have to take one or all of them out part-way through, but no, DD still talks about it & how it gave her a love of Mozart.

As toddlers they never ran around or made a fuss. But we were sympathetic to when they were beginning to have enough, would take books, colouring etc with us & then leave before things got too fraught so that they always had a good experience & that encouraged them to behave well on future occasions.

I'm not saying our DCs were perfect - DS1 & DS4 didn't sleep for more than 4 hours at a time, DS2 as a teen would challenge DH's authority & sometimes I'd have to step in to calm things down as I could see that my (usually very calm & laid back) DH was getting angry, DS3 was, frankly a complete nightmare from the beginning, difficult PG, difficult birth, temper tantrums (his wife tells me that he still has a temper), bunked off school etc etc. Except being fussy about her food, our DD was a dream, never gave us a moment's concern, we used to have to wake her up for feeds, as a teen we held our breaths waiting for some kind of rebellion - but never happened.

Your right your child shouldn't be running around the restaurant what's the problem?

You could try engaging with your child rather than letting her sit watching videos, then once bored getting up to wander round and irritate everyone else :/

Oh what a surprise that the OP hasn't returned.

Aye OK, are you bored op? 😂
I hear knitting is good to occupy your time.

This is a wind up post isn't it!!!!!

If not, you are a staff members worst nightmare.

I am sure you would have been very quick to complain if a member of staff knocked your little darling over or spilt something on them.

I agree with others, if you can’t sit with your child and keep her engaged at a table then you shouldn’t really take her out for dinner.

she’s probably, (in the nicest way) being annoying to people who are trying to eat thier dinner in peace.

The lady might of looked forward to her meal all week, even saved up for it ! So it’s only fair she hasn’t got a toddler running up and down disturbing her.

you could eating at the the park with a picnic or even a soft play,

x

I feel you. As a mum with a special needs chul, it's exhausting having to constantly stop them doing things. By evening you get burnt out and let them do things

Please don't tar all children with the low bar brush you're clearly working on

Ds is allowed kindle or book only if we're out, and asks to go with an adult if he wants to explore, but is capable of doing so without waving at people etc

Why?

What will happen if someone points at a child to indicate that they are the child they're referring to?

Does your child spontaneously explode if pointed at?
Will she require counselling to get over the severe trauma of being pointed at?

If you don't want people pointing at your kid, ensure your kid isn't doing anything that would give people reason to point.

I mean the name of the restaurant would give great context here.

She's taken her DD to a restaurant to put into practice the advice she's received here.

She stepped in to do the parenting you were failing to do. What you find cute in your child, others don’t.

Hi everyone! I understand how everyone's feeling about this. Even I understand that it was unreasonable for me to feel that way. That's why I apologise for letting my daughter wander around. She's 3 years old and I can't really hold her still or else she would cry which I think would make everyone's experience worst. Anyways, thank you for those people who suggested how to become a better parent and not just point out that I'm an irresponsible parent.

True. Was it The Ivy or Wacky Warehouse?

Could even be dangerous if there is hot food etc etc being taken to tables.