I saw someone pointing fingers at my DD

[TheMaryClaire]

Hi Mums! I just want to get this off my chest and maybe get some advice from you all.

My daughter and I went to this restaurant (i don't want to mention the name) over the weekend and had some dinner there. Of course, as a child, my DD has a really short attention span, so after watching some videos, she started wandering around the restaurant hall and waving at all the people coming in.

Some people appreciate it and smile at her, so I just let her move around. Suddenly, a lady (around 50 yo) started stopping her and pointing a finger at her, saying that she should not be running around the restaurant.

While I know that she's right, I feel that it's not appropriate to point your fingers at someone else's child. I just apologise to her and walk away with my daughter in tow but I feel extremely uncomfortable in my heart.

What do you think?

While I know that she's right, I feel that it's not appropriate to point your fingers at someone else's child.

You're right its not their place it was yours but you wasn't doing anything so she stepped in.

Nowhere in the post does it say the child was running but it seems like that’s what everyone is going with? I think they were probably walking round hand in hand? The child sounds like a toddler (1-2?)

Think yourself lucky that you didn't get that finger pointed at you too. Oh, and screens have no place at restaurant tables. There are so many other, active not passive, ways to entertain a child. Please help your DD develop better, safe habits so she doesn't in due course become a nuisance at school as well.

Edited to remove emboldening

The only reason you’re pissy is because - as you said yourself - you know she shouldn’t have been wandering around a restaurant making a pest of herself.

Have a word with yourself. It’s not everyone else’s job to entertain your child because you can’t be arsed.

Rubbish parenting from you allowing your child to be a nuisance to others, some who will have arranged to have a babysitter for their own children so they can eat out without out the distraction of children!

I wouldn’t point my finger at you, I would be asking you to make your child sit down.

Yabu to let your child go wandering around, take some responsibility. Teach her how to sit and interact nicely, without screens to entertain her.

OP won't come back until she's finished laughing at you all believing this!

Did you read the OP?? hand in hand?? Op literally says she started wandering around the restaurant hall .. not we, she, as in just the daughter. A lady then said she should not be running around the restaurant. While I know that she's right, … implies the daughter was indeed running around 🤷‍♀️

Do not let child wander around a restaurant! It is highly risky. Hot soup on head ! If she needs to move you have to go outside with her . Stick to macdonalds for now or a harvester with soft play attached

Had a child running round TGI Fridays recently, eventually come to our (full) booth, climb on side of our bench & spill one of our mocktails.... after the staff had to move out the way for him with hot plates in their hand... everyone looking round for the parent who didn't seem to care.
restaurants are not playgrounds, patrons are paying to eat there it's not a park cafe! Sorry OP accountability is on you.

Shocker

I dislike children walking round a restaurant. It is dangerous and really unkind to the staff.

Indeed, why should be have our evening ruined because adults won’t parent their children! We have stopped using certain restaurants because of this, it’s costs us more in other eateries but we generally have a peaceful dinner in a better environment.
The restaurants that are being tolerant of children who run around shouting and creating a nuisance are not the establishment’s we want to frequent, and we know of others who feel the same.

If you can’t keep your child in her seat she should be going to a restaurant - don’t complain when someone else tries to parent your child because you aren’t

Take your child abroad for a holiday where she can observe local children sitting eating their meals, with the adults, at all times of the day and night and behaving perfectly well.
I live abroad and it is common for families to be in restaurants with very little/no problem to other diners or staff. The difference is these children are included in conversation and engaged by the adults they're with.

WaltzingWaters "You shouldn’t be letting your toddler wander around a restaurant, unless walking to or from the toilets. It’s dangerous for the staff carrying lots of food and drink."

How do you know she's a toddler? The OP didn't say her age.

This ffs.

The world doesn’t revolve around your child. Most people don’t want to be disturbed during a dinner out which is a luxury to most, by a random wondering child.

You need to teach your daughter that in restaurants you sit at the table and stay there. Bring her colouring, picture books, small toys. But don’t let her just run around causing havoc.

Im sure you’d be complaining if a member of staff didn’t see her and tripped over her causing injury or even pouring scalding drinks/food on her.

Surely no-one can be THIS self absorbed?!

Parent your child. Then you'll likely find that this problem doesn't recur.

I’d recommend taking some books, one of those drawing pads or a colouring book. Or maybe interacting.

you also have to practice teaching dc how to be ok with being bored. 4 is a good age to start, but unsupervised wandering is bit laissez faire for me

most children are not as cute and as interesting to others as they are to parents. Unless you are comfortable with your child being spoken to or redirected when misbehaving by strangers best to keep them close to you

If you don’t parent your child then other people have to. Someone needs to teach her. Maybe don’t be a shitty parent.

Well OP, you can either carry on letting your DD wander about at will and risk her getting under peoples feet, getting bumped into, colliding with waiting staff, annoying other diners and being on the end of someone’s no doubt well meaning and concerned warning OR you could start being a parent, take enough to entertain your DD, have a conversation with her about what’s going on all around her and keep her safe……….up to you.

Bring a book, magazine or colouring pad. Watching a tablet won’t help your DD with her attention span in the long run. Once you can’t keep her still, which is normal at some ages, you can walk her around outside holding hands.

Small children can be hard to see so she is as likely to be hurt too if someone falls over her or spills a hot drink.

Do yourself a huge favour and teach your child how to behave nicely in restaurants. This starts at home at the dinner table. No wandering about, no screens, no tantrums. If she can’t / until she can, don’t take her out for meals.