I saw someone pointing fingers at my DD

[TheMaryClaire]

Hi Mums! I just want to get this off my chest and maybe get some advice from you all.

My daughter and I went to this restaurant (i don't want to mention the name) over the weekend and had some dinner there. Of course, as a child, my DD has a really short attention span, so after watching some videos, she started wandering around the restaurant hall and waving at all the people coming in.

Some people appreciate it and smile at her, so I just let her move around. Suddenly, a lady (around 50 yo) started stopping her and pointing a finger at her, saying that she should not be running around the restaurant.

While I know that she's right, I feel that it's not appropriate to point your fingers at someone else's child. I just apologise to her and walk away with my daughter in tow but I feel extremely uncomfortable in my heart.

What do you think?

This is a wind up surely??

Well all I can now think of is this. But on another note I want to eat my dinner in peace and not entertain someone else’s kids.

This has got to be a reverse or a wind up?
Surely nobody is that clueless??

And the OP hasn't been back yet....

You want to get it off your chest OP? Really! The arrogance and ignorance of you!
“Some people appreciated it” when DD waved you say, are you sure about that! You really think everyone loved to be greeted by your little princess? Well surprise surprise, not everyone is interested in DD, as was clear when the 50 something lady quite rightly said DD shouldn’t be running around the restaurant, if I’d been there I would’ve applauded that lady and openly agreed with her.
People go to a restaurant to dine out in peace, they are not there to entertain children. Frankly I get really pissed off when I’m in a restaurant, or any eatery for that matter and there’s children running around doing as they please.
What is wrong with parents who think it’s ok for their precious little darlings to do as they please… laying on the floor yelling and shouting (as was the case when we were eating out last time, completely feral), children walking around getting under servers feet, running here and there, shouting noisily and generally being a nuisance.
When our children ate out with us they were taught basic good manners and respect, they didn’t leave the table unless they needed the toilet and one of us would accompany them. They actually say now they are grown up that they are grateful for their upbringing and their success in life and career is down to good parenting.
OP, think about this… Staff are serving tables with hot food and drinks, I’m sure you would be raging if DD had drink spilt on her or worse hot food, yet staff are expected to navigate around children because parents don’t feel they can explain to their children that it’s rude to disturb others by wandering around whilst people are eating.
It isn’t cruel to teach a child basic good manners, what do you think happens when the Royal children want to get up or down from the table? They are taught right from the start that it’s not the done thing, it’s poor etiquette and bad manners, they sit still, they behave with dignity and good manners. Does the whole of the U.K. think they are being abused? No, of course not, they are being educated.
It seems the days are gone when we could guarantee a pleasant evening out with friends in adult company.

For this reason we try and go to restaurants after 8pm. My sister lets my niece do this and it’s not only embarassing it’s dangerous. Would you have pointed fingers if she had something hot spilled on her? Maybe best to rest your heart and get a babysitter for next time.

A pointing finger. Your kid probably won't remember it the next day. They are resilient at that age.

I'm afraid YABU, I appreciate that children's attentions spans are small but a restaurant isn't the place for running around. It's your responsibility to check this, your DD rightly shouldn't be blamed she is just a little one, the onus is on you. I do appreciate you were making sure she wasn't bored, it does seem like you were making an effort and not letting her run absolutely riot. It's just that she could have caused waiting staff or other customers to trip, someone could have got badly hurt.

I do think perhaps the child is too young for a proper restaruant. Perhaps a pizza hut buffet would be better?

Well said, I agree!

You let your daughter wander around a restaurant getting in people's ways and making life harder for servers and upset someone complained?

Child is at the table with you, outside with you, in a designate play zone with you, or don't eat out. It is that simple. It's called parenting ... which means you can't always have what you want when *you want it as you have to prioritise looking after your child properly.

Good advice, I think OP expected everyone to agree with her!

If your child can't stay seated for the duration of the meal, don't take her to restaurants. My 3-year old grandson used to manage it!

You certainly shouldn't allow 50 year olds to speak to your children. Ewww. Perfectly ok to let your children get in the way of waiting staff carrying heavy, hot food. Great parenting.

Our local family pub is no longer a viable option for us because it always has children running around inside it, while the useless parents just sit at the tables chatting to each other. It’s so stressful eating there as a result.

I don’t know what has gone wrong with parenting in the last 20 years. There seem to be far too many parents who think that the world is there to entertain their offspring for them. It’s no wonder behaviour in schools is so bad.

Why the hell was your DD wandering around the resturant unacompanied?
The poor waitresses. Its a PITA when you have to navigate round small children and can be a major saftey hazard, spilling hot liquids etc.
Quite frankly you would have had more than a pointed finger if it had been me!

Nope, at a restaurant, everyone sits down, regardless of age

This made me chuckle, I was getting distinct Roald Dahl vibes (anyone remember his book about a girl who got angry and pointed her finger at people and bad things happened to them?)

I think it is irresponsible and unsafe to allow your child to wander around a restaurant, and if she isn't old enough to sit for the meal then you shouldn't be taking her in to a restaurant.

I'm not interested in your kids and I don't want them wandering past scaring at me if I'm in a restaurant trying to enjoy a meal which is being paid for with my hard earned cash.
Your kid so parent and keep them at your table.

feel extremely uncomfortable in my heart.

Could be indigestion

*staring at me eating.

I'm afraid this is one of my pet hates! I know children don't like sitting sit and have a short attention span, but it's your responsibility to keep your child engaged. Children should not be running/walking around a restaurant, especially unsupervised. It's dangerous. Little children get under staff's feet, and are oblivious of the dangers. If a staff member accidentally tripped and spilt hot food on your child, you'd be up in arms, because your child got burnt/injured, and no doubt blame the staff member. Teach your child to stay seated, bring plenty of activities for them to do and parent your child. Other customers don't want your child running around whilst they're eating, it's rude and inappropriate.

Ops not coming back to tell us the age of the child. Maybe it is 15!

Need the laughing emoji back!

Does anyone else read posts that start 'Hi Mums!' in an Anna Kendrick voice because of her character in A Simple Favour?

Very well said 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻