I saw someone pointing fingers at my DD

[TheMaryClaire]

Hi Mums! I just want to get this off my chest and maybe get some advice from you all.

My daughter and I went to this restaurant (i don't want to mention the name) over the weekend and had some dinner there. Of course, as a child, my DD has a really short attention span, so after watching some videos, she started wandering around the restaurant hall and waving at all the people coming in.

Some people appreciate it and smile at her, so I just let her move around. Suddenly, a lady (around 50 yo) started stopping her and pointing a finger at her, saying that she should not be running around the restaurant.

While I know that she's right, I feel that it's not appropriate to point your fingers at someone else's child. I just apologise to her and walk away with my daughter in tow but I feel extremely uncomfortable in my heart.

What do you think?

Of course, as a child, my DD has a really short attention span, so after watching some videos, she started wandering around the restaurant hall and waving at all the people coming in.

@TheMaryClaire Why weren't you engaging with her? Your post sounds like it was just the two of you. Why was she watching videos in a restaurant to start with?

What do I think?
I think you should parent your child better and not rely on IT or other people to do it for you. I wouldn't want her visiting my table.

Sorry. I have others stuff to do and not online all the time.

Could you invest in one of these travel booster seats? I had one for DD, who ate in restaurants of all kinds from the age of 2. https://www.munchkin.co.uk/products/travel-booster-seat

Wrong thread

If she is not able to sit down at a restaurant, she shouldn't be in a restaurant. It's a safety risk and affects other people's enjoyment. We didn't take our kids out until we could micro-manage them to sit down quietly.

Would restaurant with pub garden/play area be more suitable?

I think you are so wrong to let your child wander about a restaurant when out for a meal. It is really annoying for diners and for the waiters who have to navigate them when trying to take loaded plates to diners.
When my children were old enough to dine out, they were always made to stay at the table until everyone had finished the meal. Admittedly, we didn’t take them for full four-course meals, but started them off with a light meal in a cafe to get them used to it, then gradually progressed to slightly more formal settings. I am taking about age 4 upwards here. If they are taught to stay at the table from this age, it becomes a habit. Consequently, after that, we were able to take them anywhere. We did allow small colouring books when they were starting out, but only after the meal, while we grown-ups were still chatting or having coffee, but only if they had behaved during the meal. If this sounds smug, I won’t apologise. I, too, hate having to put up with brats ruining meals. While we were having a meal once, a child of about 4 came up to our table alone. He then stood there just staring at us, and the parents did nothing except smile indulgently as if to say, ‘yes, he’s lovely, isn’t he?’ Grrrrr. I stuck it for a while, then asked him quietly to go back to mummy, which he ignored, before taking him by the hand, marching him to his parents, and saying sweetly, ‘yours, I think?’ She had the audacity to glare at me!

You don't let your children wonder around a restaurant bothering other people - whether they are receptive or not.

Perhaps bring crayon/toys etc to keep DC occupied throughout the meal.

Why on earth would you think that…..again??? It’s a habit if yours and really annoying! Grow up!

I think it does depend on the restaurant. Fast food - fine to have a wander around. Fine dining - people have gone for a nice meal out and some won't want to be distracted by your child wandering around and getting underfoot of the wait staff.

Take stickers, colouring stuff etc along next time and try to time it so your child has burnt off some energy before sitting down to a meal so they'll be happy with quiet sitting down activities while you eat.

But don't let the woman's reaction worry you know - it's done and forgotten

I have never understood what ‘posting a reverse’ even means! 🤪

Some people appreciate it

I can 100% guarantee it, they dont

It's dangerous for staff carrying hot food and drink, it's not as cute to other diners as you seem to think. Control your child.

No fast food is not fine, no restaurant is fine for children to run around in with hot drinks and hot food.

A pointed finger won't hurt them!

FGS!

No

Still hot food/drinks

Keep your kid with you

Then don't take her to restaurants till she's old enough to behave

Well well well if it isn’t the consequence of your own actions

You asked "What do you think?" so you got what we think.

of course you dont let a child wander round a restaurant
how much hot food do you want spilt on her?

Don't put her on screens in restaurants-probably why she has a short attention span.

Oh yeah fast food coffee burns less than fine dining coffee, when spilt on a small child wandering about!

It’s not ok under any circumstances.

Fast food places are actually worse for kids to be running around. Normal sit down restaurant only has staff carrying food and drink around. A fast food restaurant has staff and customers waiting around and all carrying food around; there is a higher chance of your kid getting in the way, someone tripping over them or food being spilled on them.

But surely you can look around and see other people’s 3 year old’s sitting and not crying? Can you not see it’s your failure to have expectations of behaviour causing this?

Were they fish fingers?

Thank you for your comment. My daughter is 3 yo. She's not entirely unsupervised. I'm trailing behind her but not that close as she just wants to wander around the area on her own. I made sure that she won't disturb others' meals or accidentally knock over a waiter. But I understand that we would have avoided this situation if I had been able to manage my daughter better.