At what age can you leave a child at home alone for 15-20 minutes?

[december2020]

As a preface, DS is 4 - so I am nowhere near this stage.

However, it did get me thinking on what is the age and stage that you can leave a child at home alone for 15-20 minutes?

Of course there is always a variance depending on how mature they are, but on a general level?

I think DD was 10 when I'd start popping out for a 10 min walk to the shop

I am deliberately responding before reading the other replies - it obviously depends on the personality, capabilities and preferences of the child, and on where you live, but my gut feel is around 9 years of age. I think that's when DD was ready, and when I started doing so.

Will be interested to see what th consensus is!

8/9ish

Mine are 13 and 11 now and stop home in the holidays and when they don't want to come out with me and DP. Etc.

My mum only lives round the corner and they both have phones.

I think we started leaving them for literally 5 minutes to pop to the corner shop or post box at about 8. Leaving for 30-60mins at 9. Couple of hours by 11.

I have a cousin who does not leave her 13yo DD alone. At all. It is a massive PITA for her as childcare for older ones is not easy to come by. Problem is, now it's built up into a massive thing for the DD, so last time she tried to leave her the DD was really anxious and stressed, and so my cousin doesn't foresee being able to try again any time soon.

Better IMO to build up responsibility and independence by tiny increments.

Interesting. My daughter is 10 but doesn't have a mobile and we no longer have a house phone. Can you really leave a child with no means of phoning if there's an emergency?

It's been done for centuries.

Earliest 8 I think but only a very sensible child who follows rules, nearby neighbours and no needy pets to care for or anything. Definitely by 12 for most kids.

I had to start leaving DD during Covid when she was 9, nearly 10 for an hour when I did the food shop. Single mum, no car she could have waited in, couldn’t take her in so she was definitely safer at home with my old phone to check in on. It was earlier than I would have planned or chosen but it was the making of her and she enjoys her time without me in the house now as a teenager!

Started at 10 but he was very sensible

But som children walk to school without a parent in Yr 6 and primary schools actively encourage it assuming the route is safe.

I'd say around 9 or 10 (for a sensible child) for 15 mins.

We live in one of those countries. DS is at Kindergarten and it’s expected he will be walking there alone before he leaves next year. He’s a summer born so will still be 5. At this age there’s very little focus on academics and more on independence and personal responsibility. When you get used it, it doesn’t feel so crazy.

I’ll leave my 8yo and 10yo together for 10mins when I nip to shop at end of the road. They can call me via Alexa if they need me (or just want to request something from the shop, which is more usual!).I’ll only leave them together if they are in a sensible, chilled mood otherwise I’ll force them to come with me.

10yo will also stay home alone for 10mins or so while I’m dropping the younger one at clubs.

8yo gets lonely even if he is just in a different room in the house so no chance we would leave him yet!

My 10yo will be in secondary, going to school by himself via two public buses in 4 months time so if he isn’t capable of sitting in his own home alone for 15mins at this stage I would be worried!

I was also getting long distance trains with other kids before secondary and the underground to school from y7. It was fine. I'm planning to let my eldest start walking to school alone in y6 and will need to leave him home alone before then to build up to it.

DS knows to go to the neighbors in an emergency and he has my number memorized.

i'm only ever away for 20 minutes though, going to get a wifi phone for the house in a year or so when we extend it.

Depends on child, where you live, other parent
location and where you are going. To the post box 2 minutes away no road to cross, once they can competently use a phone (landline when my dc were small), further away eg pharmacy 5 mins walk away but could be a queue, about age 7 (had chicken pox and was told not allowed to take her in as pharmacy inside rural gp’s, they said leave in car but i couldn’t drive! House was under 5 mins walk away). You start to pick and choose gradually but all dc are different so because it’s ok for one doesn’t mean ok for a sibling

In 2020 there were often a dozen or more primary aged kids hanging around in Sainsbury’s car park as they weren’t allowed in, they all were fine I should add and the kind manager used to slip biscuits or other things to any kids hanging around. Amazing how people forget

10 probably. 11 definitely. I think 8 is a bit young - they won’t have a way of contacting you and they aren’t old enough to manage an unexpected event.

Agreed. There's a reason there's very little after school/holiday provision for secondary school age children: because - apart from with certain SEN, disabilities, etc - 11 year olds are more than capable of getting themselves to and from school and being home alone for a few hours.

We started building it up gradually from 9 here.

I popped to the shop, gone less than ten minutes at around 8.5, 15-20 mins probably by the time he was 10.

This just shows how all children are different and there are not right answers. My daughter was 9 when she had a key to let herself in. I was home approximately 45 minutes later.

You can SMS or use VOIP on a computer. You can also get a 'brick' for £10 - £15.

@Zippedydodah also traveling to school by bus from age 5.

The headmistress once told my mother that she felt sure she could leave the school in the hands of me and a cousin and everything would run smoothly so I don't think all kids were as independent but a lot were.

We also live in a different country. It’s expected from school start at 6 years that most children will get to and from school alone, including taking a bus.

My Ds is 5. Our neighbours children are similar age and they are all out on bikes, up in the woods etc without an adult. Many are definitely in the house alone even if parents aren’t off off somewhere as it’s lots of farms and other similar places so even on your own land parents would be out of hearing distance.

DS was 9. I actually bought a cheap handset to go with the landline we never use. He quickly learnt to ring us from the family iPad.

9 years old for me. With phone so he could call me if nervous (never did, he got annoyed when I called him:).