At what age can you leave a child at home alone for 15-20 minutes?

[december2020]

As a preface, DS is 4 - so I am nowhere near this stage.

However, it did get me thinking on what is the age and stage that you can leave a child at home alone for 15-20 minutes?

Of course there is always a variance depending on how mature they are, but on a general level?

My daughter is 11 in year 7, every morning at 7 she walks 10 mins to Clapham junction (one of the busiest in London), gets on a train to Croydon, walks to school, then comes back in the evening sometimes arrives home at 7pm. With her hundreds of secondary schools kids going to schools on London. I won’t leave her overnight at home but I can’t see how staying even half a day is less dangerous. I started leaving her for 30/40 mins while I was dropping my other daughter to activities since she was 9

Completely depends on the child. I’d have trusted my son at 8 or 9. I wouldn’t have trusted my nephew at 16! 😂

It totally depends on the child. I left dd1 when she was nine to drop dd off at gymnastics and she was alone for about seven minutes.

When dd2 was nine, she walked home from school with her friends and let herself in and was alone for about an hour.

I'd say 'around secondary school transition' but with a window either side depending on the child, where you are, what time it is, how they're feeling etc. etc.

I think a lot of people want to leave their kids quite young, because they repeat what was done to them.

What does a child of only 8 need to be left for? There's a paranoia amongst parents that if you don't leave kids early you'll never be able to - but there's no evidence for this. If they get themselves to secondary school and get left around the same time, they'll be fine.

lol my parents sent me on the train from Norfolk to Edinburgh on my own aged 8 (that was in 2000). It felt very normal then and I had clear instructions of what to do - if X then do Y. Change at X and go to platform Y.

my point is if you prepare them well, then a 6 year old might be more responsible than a 12 year old who hasn’t been given responsibility/knows what to do if things go wrong.

I would add that as I’ve gotten older and told others this story, they’ve been appalled at the fact I was sent to travel alone

A colleague was reported to social services for leaving her 5/6 year old home alone while she went out for meals, gym, shopping etc. Social services said it was fine. She now leaves him for whole work days - he's 9.

I started leaving DS for 20 minutes with the TV while I pick up DD from preschool, when he was about 8 and a half. Thinking about doing longer (like a hour while I grocery shop) when he's 10.

‘What does a child of only 8 need to be left for?’

because if they’re engrossed in something, eg drawing/Lego/dolls - then that is infinitely more preferable to them than sitting in a car whilst their parent takes their sibling somewhere.

and ironically, safer. I expect there is statistically less chance of an accident for a child in a safe neighbourhood sat in the back garden absorbed in something quietly, than there is of a road traffic accident.

I flew from Uk to Malta by myself when I was 4, British airways supported it back then!

Eight is much too young for this, that's why people have been appalled.

Eight is not old enough to respond appropriately to travel disruptions or difficult/dangerous people.

Left mine for short 10 min bursts at 9. At 10 she walks home from school and is by herself from 3:30 - 5 2 days a week.

My son was 7ish when I started letting him stay home while I ran the shop. He was a stickler for rules though, so I knew he’d never do anything wrong and he knew what to do in an emergency.
by was 10 he was doing part of the journey to school alone. By 11 traveling both ways and waiting at home for us to get back from work.
now he’s 15 he can stay home for a weekend alone.
but some kids couldn’t be trusted for an hour at 15! That why we built it up the way we did, so that he would be capable and independent

I started leaving my very sensible son at 8 but it was only for very short periods of time when I would run up the road to get his sister from a club. He begged to stay at home, and I completely trusted him. Even now at 10 I would only leave him for half an hour or so.

I can't see me leaving her at the same age, they are very different!

Depends on the child, where you're going, how urgent it is, how feasible it is to get someone to sit with them... I remember being about 8 and being unwell home from school and my mum had to go and pick my younger brother up - that would have been 20 minutes. But on balance it was the right call, I knew where she was, I knew to knock on the neighbour's door if there was a problem, I knew exactly when she would be back. I was in bed reading the whole time, barely noticed she was gone.

Yeah haha, I think about the days when I was in primary school and used to come home to an empty house, social services would be called nowadays 🤣

Honest question, what is Dtds?

I left my 8 year old last week while I went to a neighbour's house. I was away around 15 minutes. He knew where I was and he could have come and got me if needs be, without crossing any road etc. But he couldn't see me or shout to me. He was grand.

Whenever they are sensible/responsible enough to cope. Would they know what to do in an emergency? Are there friends/neighbours within walking distance that the child knows how to get to on their own? Do they know your phone number off by heart so they could ask someone to call you, if necessary?

A lot of this depends on the country you live in and cultural expectations as well. Many countries teach their children responsibility from a much younger age than currently seems to be the norm in the UK. So you've also go to weigh up whether someone's going to report you to social services.

In 2020, I was told it irresponsible to have taken my 7&8yos to the supermarket with me and I should have kept them at home for 2hrs... (I didn't!)

I started leaving them around 9 for 15mins-half an hour. When 10 and in yr6, they started staying at home for the 2.5hrs when I run a Cub group after they aged out.... something known by lots of other adults involved in safeguarding children, who think its perfectly fine as well.

Left them for up to an hour alone aged 10.

Left them together for an hour alone aged 11&9.

Such a relief not to have to make them walk the dog with me in the holidays!

DC1 is very self sufficient and just sits in her room, started leaving her for about 20 mins when she was 7/8 to collect the little one or pop to the shop. Always given her the choice.

DC2 is very different indeed and won't even go downstairs alone so...(Age 7)

I started dropping my husband off and leaving my son at home at 9 for about 20 mins.
Hes very sensible, not childish or silly in anyway, locked the door and had a phone if he needed me.
My MIL nearly fainted with horror when we mentioned it, she acts like he's 3 most of the time 🙄

I would expect around 10 or 11. But I just asked dd7 how old she thinks she’ll be when she’s happy to be left alone for a few minutes and she said 25 🤣🤣

Around 8 i would say if its just 10/15 minutes

Darling twin daughters