Devastated ove daughter’s break up

[Salvcx]

My 19 year old daughter’s boyfriend broke up with her a couple of nights ago. They have been going out since she was 17. I honestly thought or hoped they would go all the way. He was such a nice person and they had a great relationship. This news has come out of the blue and completely devastated me, and I just feel really overwhelmed with grief. I want to be strong for my daughter, so hiding my feelings from her, hence speaking about this on here. I am upset for my daughter and can’t bear that she is heartbroken but I also feel like I’ve lost a son.
Has anyone else gone through similar and any advice on how to cope.

All families are different. We often have a busy home with teenage kids and their friends when they come over and I'm very fond of my son's gf -as I am of all of their close friends.
I've tried not to get too close to gf but I totally understand OP's feelings.
It's who you thought she would continue her life with. It's a very difficult adjustment as well as seeing her upset -which is terribly hard for a parent.
She will get over it and so will you. But like any loss it takes time.

You need to get a grip. You are not doing anyone any good with your hysterical over-reaction to this. Yes it's sad for your daughter. But it's part of growing up.

Devastated is a strong word. Can understand you being upset obo your DD fr sure though. Well you’ll need to buckle in especially if you’ve got other kids as real life especially these days is there’ll be many more such incidents before each DC finds the one.

Gonna be 100% honest - I left my kids dad 3 years ago and my mum sent me horrendously abusive and nasty voice notes and told me I was ruining my life etc. She said very similar things to what you've said ' devastated, came out of nowhere'. I would seriously suggest detaching and maybe some therapy. If this is how you react as a teenager, I dread to think how you'd feel if it was a situation like mine. I am no contact with my mum due to many reasons, but the leading factor was cause she told me to grovel and beg for a man who cheated on me to take me back.

I say this with love, but it's not about you and if you can't detach this has the potential to completely ruin your relationship further down the line. Support her but you really need to be on her side here and not get so emotionally invested in anybody else's relationship.

Golly. It is not even the slightest bit about you. Why are you making it about you?

Way too young to find mr right

My aunt and uncle were like this when my cousin broke up with her first boyfriend. It made my cousin feel very very guilty.

I would be delighted. The very last thing I want for my teenage children is long term relationships. I want my daughter to have fun, not ‘play house’ at 19.

I look at pictures of all those Beckham boys - they are all in long term serious relationships. How bloody boring. Travel the world, educate yourself, date loads of girls, don’t have one continually draped over yourself for years. You have your whole life for that. Have fun.

I had a blast from the age of 18-28, not one long term relationship but lots of flings, dates, ONS. I genuinely think it helps to sow your wild oats BEFORE marriage. The couples I know that are splitting now are the ones who got together at uni and are bored senseless now with very few sexual partners or experience.

Right!? I think my parents would likely only have been mildly interested once I was at that age when they start ‘worrying’ when you’re going to get married/settle down etc.

I’m Gen-X though and I think we were more independent about everything then, these days it seems parents are just so overly involved in everything. I remember having my heart regularly broken and crying alone or to friends and then just going about my life as normal around everyone else including my parents! Different times for sure!

I think you need therapy OP.

I think you need therapy OP.

This news has come out of the blue and completely devastated me, and I just feel really overwhelmed with grief.

This is why you've got the reactions you have. If you'd said you felt "a bit sad" you'd have got a lot of understanding but "devasted" "overwhelmed with grief" because your teenager has broken up with their boyfriend of 2 years is hyperbolic and entirely disproportionate.

@Salvcx how sad that you feel this way.

Jfc op, get a grip

I experienced something similar when I split up from my ex. My parents wrote me a letter telling me how devastated and upset they were and how they'd sometimes thought about splitting in the past but had stayed together for the family. I didn't even have kids with him. It was completely bonkers.
People come and go OP. It's sad but you've got to move on.

Honestly my mum said I blindsided her and my ex for leaving I was like you were not part of the relationship 😂!